Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Customer Service... Micro Bus maaa!


Our MPs demand to be treated with respect. Well, then don't spend our taxpayers money on them big SUVs, medical care in foreign lands and what not. They should all ride public transportation... Hamro jasto garib desh ma 1 corore ko gaadi chudnay manchey lai nai laaz laagnoo parney ho.. baroo tyo paisa lay kunai gau ma school, drinking water swater , baato ghaato ko laagi daan diye hooncha ni!

I no longer venture out after dark because a) I don't want to be the next UFC champion by knocking out 23 cab drivers in 24 days! b) heard the new Kathmandu SP really wants to polish his resume by arresting everyone (guys/gals/third and fourth gender as well) hanging around KTM after 11pm! c) my grandmother tells me 'tyo bhoot soot hidnay tyam ho' ... so I don't want no evil spirit hanging out with me or get ripped off by the 'evil' cabbie!

Anyways, I really want to stop this 'global warming' thing... so I only use public transportation. Tyehi ho kahiley kaahi chahi, party sarty bichha ma nai choderuh 8:15pm ko Jawlakhel jaaney last micro-bus samaatnuh daudi-halnoo parcha!

The morning starts with a Khalasi bhai trying to grab you by your armpits and throw you inside his Micro-Bus. Yesterday, the 'Britney Spears' T-shirt guy was just pulling me. With due respect to all working class heroes but I just gave him a big baag-panjaa (tiger-gloves) slap usko ghaati ma. Sorry bhai, it's just that I like eating two boiled eggs every morning and today, I only got to eat one!

Then we got into a staring game... usko Micro-bus pani tana-tun bhaye rahecha ... so he left! Natra bhaney Jawlakhel ma nai Chakka-jaam hoonthyo hola aajuh samma!

Then I got into another Micro... the F1 Racing driver was really good! I don't know why he was in such a hurry. Pachi po usko mobile conversation baatuh thaha bhayo... Ratnpark ma Churot bechnay bahini sanguh usko lob sob pari-raheko rahecha!

Ani
music pani, Rock concert ko bhanda x10 charko... I told him 'Bhai tyo Bhu-Loom ali saano garnoos nuh' . I like country (dohori) music ... sometimes... esp the ones where the ladies will give Himesh Reshammiya a run for his money ... when it comes to singing through your nose, probably tyo looga sukaunay clip lay theechay pachi hola!

The Micro stopped @ Sahid-Gate... our sarkaari karmachaaries are getting really creative. Tyo sahid haroo lai protect garnuh rakheko silver-color ko faalam ko railing tuh aandhaa baasko rahecha, silver color paint saint haandey cha. Faalam kinnay paisa lay kaasley kinnay bhayo Khasi yo Dashain maa?

As we were about to get off... the race-car driver decided to speed up and a lady nearly broke her leg trying to flee from the crazy Micro! Tyes Pachi feri bhaana bhun sooru! Ani Bichara Khalaasi bhai lay feri khayo mero Baag-Panjaaa!

Ani
ali Maathi, hamro Nagarpaalika ko 'Mobile Toilet' ko agaadi batuh #2 ko Kamalpokhari tira jaaney Tyampoo liye. Driver saheb lai pachi sajilo hos bhaneruh pahila nai Rs 11 buja-ye ani 'Dai Tyo Kamalpokhari ko police station agaadi rokhnoos hai bhaney'... I love them Tyampooss.. afnai speed ma kasai ko baal nai nadikinuh chalaunuh paunay... sabai Micro Sicro hataa-yeruh yehi Tyampoo banaa-aye hooncha...

Taruh
bichara Tyampoo driver sanguh pani discuss... Maitidevi tira lageruh stop garyo. "Dai, Kina Kamalpokhari ma Na-rokhay-ko?"... tapai lay 'Dyaang-uh' garnoo parcha ni... hami kaha samjiraancha tuh tapai lay agi nai bhaneko koora...'

Desh
ko neta lai maatra memory-loss bhayo bhaneko tuh abuh sabai janaa lai Aamir Khan jastai hoonuh thaalecha! Arko choti chahi ma uha ko Niddhaaar ma Marker lay lekhdinchoo ' Please stop @ Kamalpokhari ko Prahari Chowki agaadi' Taruh my bad... I should have 'dyaaanged' the Tyampoo.. taruh mero agaadi euta Her Hwatness baskeo hoona-lay mero afnai memory-loss bhayo hola!

Pachi
... office sakiyo... feri Ratnpark ko Micro Samaatiyo! I think 'The House of Vaidya' should throw away all them seats when they sell them Micro-sicro! Our Khalasi-bhais want to squeeze 20 people in a Micro that can only seat 15! And I got squeezed between a Fat Madeshi Forum Member and a big-boned Pahaadi Forum Lady!

By the tyam , we were in Jawlakhel... I had already lost sensation ...mero euta haat ruh etua khutta maa (and not whatever u were thinking ... just now!). I thought I would have to visit Alka to get both of them amputated for blood clot or something! I would prefer Patan Hospital ... was very good when UMN was taking care of it.. abuh tuh Patan pani Sarkaari chor haroo lay bistaarai .....

Ani
tuh last discuss-siscuss of the day. A 50+ lady gave her '?? Learning Center card' to our 'PussyCat Dolls' T-shirt bhai and they got into a heated argument when he accused her of giving him a fake ID card.

Sorry.. He didn't say fake... I think the word was 'illegal' .. tyespachi tuh 'principle sinciple ethics sethics' ko bisay ma discuss. Auntie was talking about 'defamation - sedimentation, slandering-philandering and what not' .. sorry 'not' philandering.. tyo ali mailey nai masala thup-dey jasto cha!

I tried to calm down the 'Auntie' ... 'bhayo yes lai chod-dinoos discuss gareruh afani tauko dukcha'... ani feri Khalaasi bhai got all Prachanda-ized and then started wagging his finger 'Badi Nabol-noos'... Abuh tuh malai nai Atti nai bhayo.. ani Feri Slap-Wlap... 'Tero Aamo saw-ruh ko manchey sanguh ramro sanga bol hai gadhaa' .. ani I got off.

Both them auntie and 'Nicole Scherzinger' fan ... kept quiet... Abuh feri Bholi Jawlakhel ma Chaaka -Jaam hoonchuh bhanney asha lay ma chahi Ghar tira laagey!

Aroo bela chahi mero ramrai guff-suff hooncha... hamro public-transportation-crew haroo sanguh.. maybe I was just having a bad day.... damn... tyehi euta extra andaa khaanuh napayeruh... tyeskaaran my sincere apology to all micro-bus wallahs! Arko choti ma chahi thulo headphone lagayeruh paschoo Micro bhitra, na tuh music nai loud nuh tuh discuss-siscuss gareko nai soonnnay!

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