I am probably one of the laziest person on Earth. But my dear friend, Mr. J is like #1 if there was some kind of world ranking on this thing! I would probably be in the top 10!
Mr. J lost his driver's license few weeks ago. He doesn't care... but our Nepali Cops do care and if they ever catch you without a license then it's worse than being caught in a tsunami.
So off we went to the 'Kathmandu Metropolitan Traffic Police Office'. We went to this little shed where you buy all kinds of traffic-related forms. The guy was busy Xeroxing... and after 15 minutes, he finally gave us the 'lost license' form for ten Rupees!
Then we moved to the Canteen, ordered black tea and asked a traffic cop (who was busy eating fried fish and milk tea... nice combo!) for assistance. After filling up the form, he kindly let us know that it would take another 4-5 days to do all the 'check if this guy has any traffic violation' thing.
And then God sent us an angel. Well, it was the same traffic cop... he promised to do it in 15 minutes. Wow! Express service... finally Nepali government offices are listening to our PM's 'krantikari' speeches!
There's no such thing as free lunch. I don't know who said that but our angel took the form and asked for 200 Rupees! My friend didn't want to part with his pocket money (yes, we lazy bums are still asking our parents... and so is former Crown Prince Paras!) but I had to strangle him before he came to his senses!
This is Nepal! Wake up and smell the Bagmati river! Either we come after 4-5 days and spend another four hours running from one room to another or we pay our traffic 'Dai' 200 rupees and get done with it!
200 rupees and 15 minutes later... we had our 'sifaris' and headed to the 'Yatayat' in Lalitpur for a new license! Our government brothers were busy drinking tea and smoking! Can u believe it? Drinking tea!
Our Karmarchari raja-sahebs asked us to come on Sunday (Friday... Sarkaari Bida Rey... Ram ko Janma din ho ki tyastai ke ho!) and because it was already 2 pm and they had send the 'dhatta' (well ... the book with all them names and numbers of license holders!) to some other room!
Nepali Government Office TYAM (NGOT) is until 5 pm! So what do these sons of seedless cucumbers do from 2 till 5 pm? I don't know... but you have to really be a Superman to be jerking off for the next three hours? Okay, that's too harsh... maybe a batman or a spiderman!
I think another 200 rupees would have done it again but my friend was giving me the 'Not again.. I would rather drink Cafe Latte than bribe these arseholes!' look!
We must give it our government guys. You can travel around the world in less than 24 hours but a 'Nepali government file' takes more than a week to jump from one room to another!
Tomorrow is a government holiday... Saturday is 'bida ko din'! Time to drink 'Red Label' and play 'Marriage' Yippee! ... our government folks are having all the fun. Joon Sarkar aya pani... karmachari haru kai raaj!
My friend is pissed off .... Okay, 200 Rupees won't buy you much in KTM but he thinks I am no better than all them Nepali ghoosh-khoris! C'mon... At least we made one guy happy!
Hope the traffic cop bought a rose for his wife or maybe a thong from the Hong Kong market! Whoever invented this 'thong' stuff is a genius. I didn't say that but I heard one 'back from Boston' dude talking loudly about his thong&bong fetishes @ this new bar in Durbarmarg!
And another Nepali bhai (he's just back from Australia!) was saying ' Bloody Hell.. Boston na Sauce-ton.... hamilai ghanta matlab!'... I just kept my mouth shut. I wouldn't want to watch "Crocodile Dundee" and "Matt Damon" fight over the 'thong' song and I didn't want to get boomerang-ed by our Ozzie mate if he happened to know that NY Mets mean something to me!
Why can't we be friends? We are either Chinese, Mexicans or Iranians to the 'khuires' ... and now we come back and act like we are bhooka tourists! Good... 14 barsa bun-baas lay tya-hee sikaycha bajiya haru ho!
Mr. J lost his driver's license few weeks ago. He doesn't care... but our Nepali Cops do care and if they ever catch you without a license then it's worse than being caught in a tsunami.
So off we went to the 'Kathmandu Metropolitan Traffic Police Office'. We went to this little shed where you buy all kinds of traffic-related forms. The guy was busy Xeroxing... and after 15 minutes, he finally gave us the 'lost license' form for ten Rupees!
Then we moved to the Canteen, ordered black tea and asked a traffic cop (who was busy eating fried fish and milk tea... nice combo!) for assistance. After filling up the form, he kindly let us know that it would take another 4-5 days to do all the 'check if this guy has any traffic violation' thing.
And then God sent us an angel. Well, it was the same traffic cop... he promised to do it in 15 minutes. Wow! Express service... finally Nepali government offices are listening to our PM's 'krantikari' speeches!
There's no such thing as free lunch. I don't know who said that but our angel took the form and asked for 200 Rupees! My friend didn't want to part with his pocket money (yes, we lazy bums are still asking our parents... and so is former Crown Prince Paras!) but I had to strangle him before he came to his senses!
This is Nepal! Wake up and smell the Bagmati river! Either we come after 4-5 days and spend another four hours running from one room to another or we pay our traffic 'Dai' 200 rupees and get done with it!
200 rupees and 15 minutes later... we had our 'sifaris' and headed to the 'Yatayat' in Lalitpur for a new license! Our government brothers were busy drinking tea and smoking! Can u believe it? Drinking tea!
Our Karmarchari raja-sahebs asked us to come on Sunday (Friday... Sarkaari Bida Rey... Ram ko Janma din ho ki tyastai ke ho!) and because it was already 2 pm and they had send the 'dhatta' (well ... the book with all them names and numbers of license holders!) to some other room!
Nepali Government Office TYAM (NGOT) is until 5 pm! So what do these sons of seedless cucumbers do from 2 till 5 pm? I don't know... but you have to really be a Superman to be jerking off for the next three hours? Okay, that's too harsh... maybe a batman or a spiderman!
I think another 200 rupees would have done it again but my friend was giving me the 'Not again.. I would rather drink Cafe Latte than bribe these arseholes!' look!
We must give it our government guys. You can travel around the world in less than 24 hours but a 'Nepali government file' takes more than a week to jump from one room to another!
Tomorrow is a government holiday... Saturday is 'bida ko din'! Time to drink 'Red Label' and play 'Marriage' Yippee! ... our government folks are having all the fun. Joon Sarkar aya pani... karmachari haru kai raaj!
My friend is pissed off .... Okay, 200 Rupees won't buy you much in KTM but he thinks I am no better than all them Nepali ghoosh-khoris! C'mon... At least we made one guy happy!
Hope the traffic cop bought a rose for his wife or maybe a thong from the Hong Kong market! Whoever invented this 'thong' stuff is a genius. I didn't say that but I heard one 'back from Boston' dude talking loudly about his thong&bong fetishes @ this new bar in Durbarmarg!
And another Nepali bhai (he's just back from Australia!) was saying ' Bloody Hell.. Boston na Sauce-ton.... hamilai ghanta matlab!'... I just kept my mouth shut. I wouldn't want to watch "Crocodile Dundee" and "Matt Damon" fight over the 'thong' song and I didn't want to get boomerang-ed by our Ozzie mate if he happened to know that NY Mets mean something to me!
Why can't we be friends? We are either Chinese, Mexicans or Iranians to the 'khuires' ... and now we come back and act like we are bhooka tourists! Good... 14 barsa bun-baas lay tya-hee sikaycha bajiya haru ho!
After all... we have to come back to Nepal (someday!) and get used to the 'Nepali way'. It sucks but this is our country. Government folks will piss you off that you want to blow them with a bazooka but you can't because that's the way it's been and that's the way it's going to be for another .... until the next big earthquake hits KTM!
Until then let's all listen to the 'Thong' song, hit a bong. If we all did that then our nepali 'yuva' wouldn't be acting like King Kong(s)!
I guess, Ghoos Express is the fastest, smoothest and the painless ride in Nepal if you can afford it .. and the Yatayat cops are fulfilling their duties to keep the Express running efficiently :) Good job, our KTM's finest !! :)
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