Thursday, February 26, 2009

Bhatti Talk!

Visited Khairey dai (yes that's his name!) ko bhatti after few months... the place is still a dump but his haans ko choela is still selling like the ducks are going to be extinct next week! Khairey dai is like the 'Soup Nazi' guy from Seinfield. No matter how nice you are to him, he just doesn't give a @#$! It's like he has a hammer stuck up his arse. And customer service is below zero.

The seating is ... well you can barely fit six people but when it comes to drinking twat & choela then you can get twenty drunks as close as you can get. And Ramu and his mistress were enjoying Aloo, bhatmaas and masu. Sarkari chors were busy drinking and laughing and we were... just waiting for Khairey dai to give us a 'Binaca' smile! He never did but we got our choela, aloo, bhatmaas and local twat.

Everybody was talking about Bollywood movies. Ramu was busy kissing his woman. The Sarkari chors were busy staring @ Ramu and Khaire Dai ... he looked like he was going to stab Ramu with his Daaru!

Ghajini has made over 40 million Amriki dollars and Rab De is not that far behind but the biggest hit so far is 'Raaz - The Mystery Continues' . Really? RTMC was made for a million US$ and it has so far grossed over 8 million. And the Bhatts know how to make a movie for peanuts and take home the whole farm.

The whole world may hate Emraan Hashmi but this guy will continue to be a leading, kissing and hissing man as long as the Bhatts make money. Kangana is da girl! But Hashmi the jackass is a lucky guy. Govinda would only get to hug his ladies but Hashmi is like .... 'I may never get a chance to kiss a girl again so I must really seize the day and kiss them all till I get a cold sore on my lip'

Got done with Khairey Dai's specials and the bill was like 3,276 Rupees. This place is really expensive. It is rumored that K-dai goes home every night with a big sack full of Rupees. He's a lucky man... some people travel all around the world looking for riches but Mr. K has made it big in KTM and all he sells is plates of Aloo, Bhatmaas and Haans ko choela!

I suck @ cooking... well I can make some home fries and that's about it but I can never be another Khairey Dai. I am still looking for a job and it's very hard to sell yourself when your skills are : telling stories, whining about everything and blaming the world for all your problems!

I asked this so-called life coach for some advice and she said, 'You have a whining attitude ... you better have a winning attitude or one day you will realize that you could have done so much but you spent all your time whining about the little things...'

Then she got married and haven't heard from her ever since. I hope she didn't hook up with Hannibal Lecter M.D.!

Got bitten by another dog today. I don't know what's wrong with me. This is the second time in less than three months. Some guys get love bites the size of Angola and I have to deal with stray dogs taking a (small) chunk of my calf. And my neighborhood vet is a beautiful lady. I thought she was single and did ask her out for a coffee... and she said, 'I have a fiance' ... okay!

Just a cup of coffee... I am not Emraan Hasmni!

Every nice girl you are interested in ... has a fiance and all the dogs hate you. I need to go back and find this 'astrologer' dude who promised me that I would fall in love with a KTM ko shauji ko only chori and get married and live happily for a while. He also said she would leave me for another bloke but hey .. pahila biha ta garna deu yaar!

And here's James 'Paranoid' Blunt with his song 'Aaahhoo-huuuuuuuuuu' ... Purano girl-saathi of mine reminds me to listen to this song now and then. And if you speak Portuguese then ... O Mesmo Erro !


  1. "'Soup Nazi' guy from Seinfield" hahaha I remember that episode :)

    tw*t : You should look up what that means in British slang ... :)

  2. I laughed after long... your cynicism/broken humor whatever you call it was helpful. Thanks a lot