Sunday, February 1, 2009

Customer Service 101 !

I went to this restaurant for lunch and nearly had to duke it out with the manager. All I wanted was a bar of soap so that I could wash my hands after pee pee. The manager said, "Sorry we don't have any soap"... what kind of an establishment is this?

So I decided to go to the kitchen and hang out with the Chefs. After washing my hands, I was surrounded by a bunch of waiters and the manager decided to give me a nice tongue-lashing! I shouldn't have tried to strangle him ... after all it was a small matter.

After being separated by the staffs, the owner of the joint decided to make a guest appearance. He was ready to have his goons kick my arse. We sat down. I had a cup of tea and he was busy playing with his vodka. I guess he was a sensible man. No bones were broken. I didn't realize that everyone had thugs-for-hire ready to come out from their closet!

When you have already invested 50 lakhs on a restaurant then how hard it is to buy a bar of soap now and then. After all, people who come to eat need to wash their hands, don't they?

My laptop broke down. Went to this place where there were like millions of laptops. I guess lot of laptops are acting funny these days. The guy told me that my hard disk had crashed. No, no data could be saved and I needed a new one. Well, it's a freaking computer unlike our body parts where Viagra can straighten things out!

Okay, I decided to go for a new hard disk and then my laptop started acting funny again. Okay, the Windows stuff was not original and then I decided to update it and it crashed again. Then I got another tongue-lashing from the computer scientist.

And maybe that's the reason they lost the screws that safely protects the hard disk from coming out of its closet. I went back for the screws and they don't have it and I can do nothing about it.

The water tanker guys haven't showed up yet. They promised to come @ 10 in the morning then it was 2 ... then 4 ... 6 and now it's midnight and I am still waiting. Yes, it's a good thing about us Nepalese... we can't say 'No' but if you can't do the job then just say , 'Sorry, I can't do it!'... don't make up BS stories!

Shower @ my cousin's house and thank God ... since most of my friends have restaurants these days, I can always run in and out after taking a dump. Maybe I should ask my friends to open a health club or spa or whatever.

I can then take shower @ them places as well. But the membership fees @ them places is @#$!ing outrageous unless you really want a body like Aamir Khan. Then you can spend six hours a day, pumping iron and what not but for folks like me who go to the gym once... every leap year, it's a bad investment.

I bought a pair of jeans the other day. Folks like me shop like we are in a hurry to save the world. Kaam pani chaina fursad pani chaina ! I thought the quality inspector from Khasa must have done a great job. I was wrong. I wore it today and the zipper doesn't work. I went back to the store so I could get another one. The guy wasn't happy. After staring and glaring and cursing at each other, he finally gave in.

And then I got home and realized that it wasn't my size. I need to eat a truck load of chicken and maybe gain another twenty pounds by next week or I will look like them young kids whose arses are behind their knees!

The only good customer service I get is @ the local barber shop. I get a nice hair cut, a shave and a massage. I really don't like the massage and I have told him a thousand times ... No, I don't need one!

I feel like the guy is playing drums on my head and he must be deaf too. There you go ... a deaf drummer! I am pretty sure that one day I am going to end up with a dislocated shoulder, a broken neck and a brain hemorrhage.

And I am praying to Lord Pashupatinath... God, please let Kurt Warner and the Cardinals win!


  1. i always refuse the barbershop massage too. having my head treated like dough is not for me. and i'm afraid the guy's going to snap my neck!

    my experience with customer service in nepal at commercial outlets has been pretty positive though. it's the government offices where i get tossed around like garbage, unless I happen to know someone!

  2. I am away at the moment .. after I am back .. I will write comments bro...