Sunday, February 8, 2009

First Job !

I have finally decided to get a job. Well, I have had like 101 jobs since I was 15. My first 'real' job was teaching that silly Microsoft Office stuff to a bunch of hakim sahebs from the Ministry of Finance. I spent more time trying to persuade these old buggers that I knew what I was teaching. They could never comprehend why they were being taught basic stuff by a teenager.

After all, they had seen it all... I guess it was some kind of a government thing that you had to learn this 'new' computer stuff and it was their bad luck that I was being asked to teach them. I am not good at anything except remembering people's faces and names. And them sarakari chors are now big promoters of many so-called financial institutions.

I got it from my school principal who remembered the names of everyone he met. He not only remembered your name but your parents', siblings and even the name of your dog. If only we had millions of folks like him then we wouldn't need them Blackberrys!

Well after three months of snickering about my qualifications, they finally got their certificate and would now be proficient in playing Solitaire on the job. So if you want to pass time and get paid and make millions on the side then get a government job. And then you retire with a nice pension and then open your own bank, hospital, school and what not! Life is great... here in Nepal!

To tell you the truth, I didn't even understand half the stuff I was teaching. And my friends thought I was the next 'Bill Gates'. Well, I don't own MeroSoft and my net worth is in the minus... more of a Billy the Goat now! Life really does take a U-turn! And if it wasn't for that Chinese classmate who looked like Gong Li, then I would have failed the C++ class!

I don't know why in the world I studied computers when I knew all along that I really wanted to study History. It took me more than a decade to figure out what I wanted to study and by then ... I wanted to be a Hippie and make love not war. Well, did that for few years and look where I am today. I am back to square one.

Of course I have tried my hand in nearly everything I could. Tried publishing, pashmina, dot com stocks, domain names, carpets, upscale restaurant, marketing VVS diamonds, selling candies and trying to make that 'great' independent movie. And I have still not mastered the art of making 'momo'... which is like the #1 skill u need to make 'Nepali' friends when u are out of the country!

Well, now I have to get a real job. If I don't then I am going to get kicked out of the house. That's what I heard through the grapevine. And if I don't get a decent job then I won't get a woman and if I don't get a woman then I will die a sick old pervert! I didn't say that... that was my good friend who is a recovering alcoholic.

So Tony Montana, go @#$! yourself. And all these years I thought, 'u get the money then u get the power and then you get the woman' ... well I can't blame him. After all, I am still working on the 'money' part!

1 comment:

  1. Good luck in finding one ie. job, money and girl !! and the other two will follow !! :)