Saturday, July 21, 2012

What’s in a (foreign) name?

Our caretaker government failed to forge consensus with other clowns and had no choice but to go with the partial budget. Now, our cadres and contractors will have only a small piece of the pie to choke on. 

I hope our netas’s cousins and chamchas will curtail their spending habits because they won’t be getting much this year. Maybe if Dr. Saheb had offered to share some of the free lunch money then other party wallahs would have agreed to share the full pie hola.
Our competent civil servants won’t have to worry about not getting paid. Our taxes will be enough to cover their salaries.  Maybe our government can save some money if they introduce some kind of a ‘pay as you want’ service.  Our civil servants will make a lot more then even if they don’t get a penny from the state.
It’s all about the chiya kharcha and when the peon says, ‘Mila-yeruh dinoos nuh’ then most of us will end up paying more anyway. After all, the poor fellow will have to share the  ‘express service’ fee all the way to the Hakim Saheb. And our hakim sahebs need to have some dough ready for our netas so that he or she can get a lucrative posting.
The Mao Inc. is holding its seventh ‘hang out’ session. Our Emperor is going through a rough patch. Baidya dai left the party because he really wants a people’s revolution. And he still thinks that his crew can take on India and win. Maybe he is watching too many of them Chuck Norris movies?
And our crown prince left the palace so that he could be with his new love.  He won’t have to worry about staying away from home because he is pretty loaded. But he better start learning some mixed-martial arts techniques. You just don’t run away with somebody’s wife. The other guy has every right to kick the lover boy’s arse!
The former Maoist combatants ask, ‘Show us the money?’. Our Emperor has asked the former PLA commanders, ‘Where is the money?’ and the commanders have resigned because they tell the Emperor that, ‘You have all the money!’.  I think it’s about time our Emperor realize that it’s okay to fool the general public but you can’t go on short-changing your own comrades.
So where did all that money go? The Emperor is into real estate, media and other investments. He should share some of the profits with the real ‘rebels’ but of course nobody is really into jagga-plotting these days. And there is not much profit in the media business as well!  

He should have started commercial farming across the country with all that loot instead! It would have at least generated employment for thousands of folks and we would be eating more local food stuff than buying it from the Dosa and Dumpling wallahs!
The Emperor lives in a 25 crore ko Palace. If Dr. Saheb is man enough then he should start the road widening project from the Emperor’s humble abode.  Yes, that road really needs to be widened kya. Even Maruti taxis can’t pass each other on that road and our great ‘leader’ isn’t going around town in a Reva! 
Mohan Baidya is now in China. He must be really enjoying them Chinese banquets. It’s not as simple as our dal bhat  and khasi ko masu! Hope he did learn a few tricks with them chopsticks before he left. He could have visited the hot-pot places in Thamel for some orientation class hola. 
Baidya uncle should ask his comrades to not go around town, vandalizing private colleges with foreign names. I didn’t know our comrades had turned into them Talibans overnight. How about banning our VIPs from buying them foreign vehicles?. They either have to do with the assembled-in-Nepal Mustang or they can take the Micro like the rest of us!
Maybe the Maoists should first change their party’s name instead. The Emperor can change the ‘Ma’ to a ‘Kha’. After all, they have now turned into Kha-o-badis!
Baidya and Matrika Yadav should also come up with a Nepali name for their parties and so should the Eh-Maleys as well. I don’t know what Baidya will come up with but Matrika Dai can go with ‘Jhapad’ party because he is into slapping civil servants around.
Bollywood’s ‘romance’ king has died. Rajesh Khanna ruled Bollywood once.  Then came the lanky Desi with his ‘angry young man’ antics. Romance was out and everybody wanted to kick some arse instead of running around trees and hiding behind the flowers or the bush!
The Indian Embassy should organize a ‘Remembering Rajesh Khanna’ festival soon.  At least , it would be nice to take our parents to the screenings and they can enjoy a night out.  You really can’t expect the older generations to like  Kuirey Super Heroes when they already have Hanuman.

*TKP : On Saturday

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