Sunday, July 15, 2012

Less Budget... More Debt!

It's time for the budget bhaasan again. Yes, our current fiscal year ends today... and our netas, sarkari hakims and contractors and cadres will start a new year of looting. 

Let us all feel bad for our Maobadi and Madhesi netas.... they couldn't get the full-fledged budget ... so now they will have to do with the so-called partial (one-third) budget. So what does that mean? Our sarkars will build like one-third of a bridge, a bato and them health posts hola ni.

Now our mantris can only make 33% of what they made last year.... hehe! Our contractors are now worried because they won't be getting enough dough to make some profit rey. 

Our opposition wallahs would have supported the government's decision to bring a full-fledged budget if they had received their share of the national loot ni! Khoi.. Maobadi ko pani buddhi ... loot badey ruh khau ho... hami janta jahiley pani choop tuh ho ni! But it's okay .... we pay them taxes while our netas and their chamchas enjoy the good life ni!

Our per capita debt chahi around Rs 18,000+ rey. Each one of us owe that much to them bideshis. No wonder, them kuireys, dosas and dumplings act like they own our netas ni! 

Baidya Dai is leaving for China today... he got them official invite from one of the taukeys of the Chinese Communist Party! Hope he has drawn a comic book or something on how he plans to invade India and take over Bollywood... hehe!

I don't know what he will be doing in Beijing... but the Chinese must have planned a lots of sight-seeing and food fest karyakarams for our hard-core rebel! Hope Baidya did visit them hot-pot places in Thamel where all the shady Chinese hang out hehe! After all, it would be a national disgrace if our last remaining hard-core commmie fumbles when he uses them chopsticks kya!

I think our communists will get more free lunch and dineros if they spoke Mandarin. It would be fun to see our communist blokes on the Chinese state-run TV channels .... speaking Mandarin. Or they can even get a round of applause if they sing some current pop hits in Mandarin pani! 

Even Prachandoo likes to speak in his Chitwan-style Hindi with them Desi journalists kyaaruh! If you are a communist, then speak Mandarin or Russian (ye sorry... they are no longer communists but Putin acts like he is still in the KGB hehe!) or Spanish. Dr. Saheb is a smart man ... he should be able to pick up a few new languages in a week or two hola!

Why Spanish? Who knows... maybe we will get like 10,000 doctors from Cuba and maybe like 1.75 million barrels of oil from Venezuela kya! I don't know what Dr. Saheb did at Rio... was he trying to learn a few soccer tips from the Samba people? Yeso Chavez ruh Castro lai mula ko achar gift diyeko bhaye!

Our doctors are getting beaten up by them relatives of patients. Yestai taal ho bhaney, we won't have doctors working at them hospitals. They will probably move to Cuba or will have to do the rounds with armed guards!

Everything will go up after the budget bhaa-shun! It's the same natak every year. Our sarkari hakims think that everyone who buys them gaadis are filthy rich and they must be taxed heavily so that the government will have enough dough to pay them salaries of our incompetent civil servants! 

Our netas get free SUVs, security and fuel kharcha and none of them pay any taxes kyaaruh! Somebody should ask Dr. Saheb.... them prices of vegetables and fruits! 

I went to buy one of them kay bhancha power socket today. Last week it was selling for 190 and today, the pasaley charged me Rs 288. We have to give it up for our sahujis. The jackass could have raised his prices tomorrow ni. 12 ghanta pani kurna naw-sakya paaji moro!

The petrol pump wallahs will hide them old stock whenever NOC hikes them fuel prices. The power socket was like dui barsa purano hola but the guy just jacked up them prices by more than 50%. It's the same thing with vegetables, daal and bhaat! Communists haroo ko desh ma wild capitalists haroo tanney-ri bhanya tyehi ho!

Raksi prices will go up! Good for most of us but bad for the drunkards... hehe! Them vehicles ko prices haroo pani 10-20% lay tuh badi nai halcha ni! I think somebody needs to start some kind of a car pool service in town hola! 

Yes, Kathmandu baasis ... please don't buy them Hyundai gaadis just because you have to go to them bhoj soj! Baroo... harek tole walalhs should buy them Maruti Van. Maybe 2-3 wata nai. Then palo palo use garney ni.... for them weddings, funerals, pasneys and medical emergencies!

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