Saturday, July 14, 2012

The People's Prince

The crown prince is missing. We had expected him to hold a ticker tape parade after successfully piggy-backing on one of our Sherpa brothers to climb Everest. But our ‘comrade’ son decided to fall in love with another comrade-ni and has successfully eloped rey.

The ‘Janjati’ netas are in full swing to start their own political party. Maybe the first thing they should do is ban ‘Everest’ and do with ‘Chomolungma’ instead. After all, ‘Holy Mother’ sounds better than calling our great mountain by some Englishman’s name ni. It sounds more exotic than Sagarmatha and if the bideshis can’t spell it right then they should not be given the climbing permit. Maybe that would help to clear the traffic jam up there during the climbing season.

Our crown prince is now married for the third time. I guess he really took the ‘try again until you succeed’ mantra to heart. Yes, we need to give the guy a break. Not everyone has a successful relationship ni. But it looks like he really needs to find a relationship coach or he will end up getting married every time the Maoists break up and form a new party.

The Emperor is busy trying to figure out how to get Dr. Saheb out of Baluwatar. So he is not in the mood to discipline his mahan putra. Muma Maharani should do something about our serial marrier.  A quick beating with dadoo and panyo would probably straighten out the dark prince hola.

Our media wallahs tell us that the prince and his new wife are enjoying pani puris in India. I don’t think he had to cross the border or deactivate his Facebook accounts after the natak. The Maoist party has suspended his membership in the Newa State Committee rey.  Now how in the world did he get to represent the Newa Rajya? Was it the Aila or the Bara?

I guess our Emperor had to save face and he probably thought that suspending his son would stop our patrakars from making up stories about our rajkumar’s shenanigans.

Maybe Ram Dev baba should teach him a few breathing techniques to control his libido or something. Last time, the baba was in town, he gave us like a few cows kyaaruh. So the next time, he is back in Kathmandu, he can crash at the Lazimpat Palace and teach our ‘comrade prince’ how to control his temptations.

Junior must be suffering from Facebook withdrawal symptoms by now. Why does the guy need like 3 Facebook accounts? One for his peeps, one for his mistresses and one for the general public hola ni.

Until he climbed Everest, he was just another computer operator who spent his day updating his Facebook statuses. Now, he is a mountaineer and a polygamist. It’s great that a lad from Tarai has climbed Everest. But he might have to seek another religion that allows polygamy if he wants to keep on getting married every other summer.

He has two options. He can either be friends with Mitt Romney (but the guy has only one wife!) or hang out with Prince Aladdin Bin Talal from Saudi Arabia. But communists are supposed to be atheist hoinuh ruh?

Well, we all are good at stereotyping.  We thought our Emperor would act like ‘Mandela’ but it happens that he has the same ethics as them yesteryear’s mandaleys. I hope our Maoists won’t break up again or the computer operator might again suffer from ‘Loveria’ and elope with somebody else.

Our Emperor should visit Nirmal Niwas for a few pegs of whiskey and snacks. Maybe both the current Maharaja and the former Lord Vishnu could share their stories on bad parenting over drinks. Instead of talking about politics, they could spend an evening talking about how their sons have not lived up to their expectations kya.

Maybe both of them can do business together. After all, our comrade prince and Gyanu uncle’s son-in-law are business partners. Our Emperor can teach Gyanu Uncle a few tips and tricks on how to tell jokes and act like a stand-up comedian whenever he is out there giving them hawataari speeches.

Gyanu woud like some kind of a role in the current  political natak rey. Maybe he should lease some of his land to Gurukul and learn a few acting skills from Sunil dai. Our playwrights can write a play about the so-called ‘deal’ between our former Raja and the current mini-Rajas.

Our former Prime Monster, Makune has even challenged Gyanu uncle to form his own political party if he wants to win the confidence of the people rey.  Look who’s talking? I guess the people were confident that Makune would be too busy doing nothing that they didn’t elect him from  two different constituencies. But he still got to be our Prime Monster and now he gets a SUV, security and fuel kharcha for life. Somebody hit the jackpot!

*this is the TKP version hai....

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