Saturday, July 7, 2012

No Rules for Mules

The Euro 2012 is over and now, we men really don’t have any excuses to stay out late.  Our national team can learn a thing or two from the Spaniards.  They call it the ‘tiki-taka’ ... you pass the ball around till everybody gets bored and then you score a few goals when opportunities arise. The Nepali version would be ‘Twakka-Tukka’ hola! 

The World Cup is only two years away and ANFA should think about making some money by showing live games at Rangasala. Maybe we will then have some dough to hire that Spanish coach when he retires. 
Our caretaker government does not seem to care about the Election Commission’s code of conduct.  According to our EC wallahs, the government cannot transfer or promote them sarkari folks or dole out cash to individuals or organizations rey.  And what does our government do? They go right ahead and break all them rules.
If our netas were footballers then they would still be in the field even after getting them red cards. They will probably kick out the referee and make their own rules as the game progresses. And if they start losing, they will ask their hooligans to invade the football field and bash up the opponents.
Four lucky ‘Maoist’ cadres are receiving cash for their medical treatment, thanks to you and me. If you want free health care in this country, you should join a political party and pray that your ‘netas’ will be in power when you have the flu!
Make sure you have the ability to gather a bunch of tyre-burners to shut down the highway. After all, if you don’t have the capacity to do some daang-doong then even the netas won’t scratch your back ni.  And if you are a neta then you get them ‘air ambulance’ and the taxpayers’ money will cover your medical expenses abroad. 
Our Home Ministry has proposed pardoning criminals affiliated to them political parties.  If you want to steal a chicken from your neighbor’s farm then make sure you do it in the name of the party hai.  Forget about the country and its citizens, for our netas … it’s all about the cadres and contractors! 
Our former Home Minister,  Khum Bahadur Khadka is a lucky man.  He is still living the good life as his corruption case gets postponed again and again. Give the man a break. He was doing his job kya.  Promoting your chamchas and cousins and taking a cut is what netas do.  He is a pakka Netaji.  The other ‘homie’ Govinda Raj Joshi looks like he is taking good care of himself. I saw him at a wedding last week…. he was glowing.. he must really be into facials these days! 
All our former ‘homies’ are enjoying the free ride and security!  That’s how our politicians roll… and even if they ended up in jail, it will be just for a year or two. And when they come out, they are welcomed by their chamchas as if they returned from a space mission.
Our comrades are really into kickboxing these days. Somebody should start a new TV series hola… ‘Comrades Gone Wild’.  Baidya dai’s crew are now fighting with the Emperor’s courtiers to take control of them party offices across the country.  C’mon people… just divide up the loot and buy your cadres some new football boots! Then go play a game instead.. at least you can have bragging rights until the next match.
While our netas are busy doing nothing, Gyanu uncle is out on them religious trips. I think he already has enough frequent flyer miles to get some free tickets.  Tarai must be hot right now. I hope our Rajabadis have stocked up on them sun tan lotion. Instead of wasting money on flowers and pujas, uncle ji should start a new campaign baroo.
Go out on a speaking tour or write songs. Title chahi ‘Let go… I did and so should you’. We should give the man some credit.  He did step aside when the time came and our netas should learn a thing or two from him. Uncle doesn’t want to be a politician. Maybe the Everest Toastmasters Club can help.
He doesn’t want to start his own political party. He is happy being a King rey.  I think he needs to wake up or somebody should give him some Prozac hola. We are heading back to 24 kingdoms and Gorkha is already taken.  Dr. Saheb has covered his base. Nobody will need to run a marathon to take the crown now.
Anyways, today is Gyanu uncle’s birthday.  I think he should organize a grand maha-yagya and donate all his wealth to charity.  Now that would be a real comeback … and then he can ask our netas to top that.

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