Saaris, Songs and Selling Out

So whom do we blame for the commercialization of Teej?  We can’t blame the saari sellers because our   women have been wearing ‘red’ saaris ever since Mata Parvati met Lord Shiva. 

Let us not blame the party palaces and their greasy food. It’s the off season and they are happy to get a booking or two.  Our gahana wallahs are already worried about the gold prices. So, I guess it’s safe to blame the songwriters and their double-meaning lyrics for all that’s wrong with Teej.

Mata Parvati meditated, she fasted and then she finally got him after enduring countless rejections.   But we all know that … “it’s the woman who chooses the man who will choose her.” So, the idea of being obsessed with a person who doesn’t really care about your love is really outdated.
 

One might have multiple advanced degrees, but not all women are adept at wearing them saaris.  It might be much easier to learn to build a portable nuclear device than figuring out all the ways to wear the saari.
 

I don’t know if Hisila didi is selling out like the other comrades or she really wants to show us that she can pull it off with a sari. She looks like she can kick some arse any time of the day in them business suits but I don’t know about the saari. But we have to give it up for our First Lady for at least trying.
 

 I think we could have created history if we had like 30,000 women in red saaris dancing to a decent Teej song at the national stadium. We, Nepalis have been busting them records in them Guinness book… I think it’s time our women got a special mention too.
 

And our so-called Hindu fundamentalists should throw a tantrum against vulgar songs about elopement and one’s thirst for lust instead of going crazy over an artist’s take on Hindu Mythology and fictional super heroes.
 

Our comrades used to be great trekkers when they were starting out but like all other netas, they too have now fallen in love with helicopters. Dr. Saheb went to Jumla and our Emperor took a ride to a village for some training program. If our great netas really want to be with the people then they should buy sturdy boots and walk like the rest of the folks.
 

Hundreds of families have been displaced by the floods across the country. Our caretaker government must be watching Hindi soap operas instead of watching the local telly. If Dr. Saheb is really for the people then he should visit the flooded areas and at least provide some relief packages for them families. But he is busy blaming everyone else except Hisila didi that he has no time to worry about trivial matters.
 

It took our top clowns nearly four months to agree that holding fresh elections is the only way to go forward.  Our netas seem to live in a time warp.  A college student will probably earn an undergraduate degree in four years but when it comes to our netas, they will still be hanging out in the college canteen after twenty years, telling the same jokes and eating free pakodas.
 

We will be wasting billions of Rupees to conduct the election and our byaparis will probably contribute cash to our parties from their ‘fake VAT bills’ account. Maybe we should just stick with the old CA clowns and give them 90 days to come up with a new constitution.  And if they have enough sense of remorse they should be willing to work for free now.
 

Bill Gates and Warren Buffett have topped the Forbes 400 List. They have a combined net worth of more than US$ 100 billion. Instead of handing out our presidential medal to the Saudi dalal, Prince Talal… why not invite these two Amrikis to Nepal and make them ‘honorary citizens’? 
 

Our polygamist prince is a computer operator and he could learn a few more tech tips from Gates to advance his skills. Our Emperor can hang out with Buffett and get some financial advice on where to invest his hard-earned money. Gates cares more about malaria than malware nowadays.  But he is still a geek… and he would probably be happy to fund something for our IT wallahs.
 

Our byaparis should learn a thing or two from Buffett as well. The guy still lives in a house that he bought more than 40 years ago. He doesn’t wear expensive suits and he eats only hamburgers and cokes.  If our so-called rich folks want to emulate him then they should buy a Nano, buy suits from the local tailor and probably eat vyar vyar momos and drink the local sodas from the gaada wallah.