Friday, December 23, 2011

The Joke Is On Us

The country’s oldest democratic party finally got its chance to show us how bad-arse they can be when it comes to them bandas! The other parties have had the decency to inform the common citizens of their so-called Banda at least a day before they took to the streets and burned tyres and what not.

I guess our so-called ‘Gandhi’ wallahs were tired of being labeled ‘dinosaurs’ and ‘old school’ hola. They wanted to be hip and crazy like other political parties who resort to bandas and make our lives miserable.

Surprisingly, the oldest club in town seems to have a large number of mundrey gundas as well. And we must really congratulate on them ‘rapid deployment’ skills. The ‘martyr’ died in the evening and the great ‘cadres’ started their vandalism by early morning. It’s really tough to send SMSes to thousands of cadres ni. I guess they seem to have to a premium account with our telecom providers.

Try sending a SMS to your loved ones, it sometimes reaches the recipient nearly two days after her birthday. And you could see that, apart from one or two so-called ‘student’ netas, most of them were hired goons who were just happy to be on the street and looking forward to destroy anything they had on sight.

Saturday is the only day, we Nepalis get a day off and we either want to stay home and eat badam and suntala or head to the malls and do some window-shopping. And the impromptu banda by our great democrats really screwed our day off hagi. I guess none of their cadres had any plans for Saturday. They were just tired of lazing around, so burning tyres and threatening innocent citizens must have really made their day.

The Nepal Banda on Monday event went further when it came to vandalizing vehicles. Even ambulances were not spared. A cyclist got beaten up and they didn’t even leave his cycle alone. At least the other political parties only resorted to hawa-fuska-ing them cycles.

Even the US ambassador’s status update didn’t deter them from shutting down the country. I think Santa Claus should rather print out the list of all ‘bandh organizers’ and post it on the Embassy walls. Instead of threatening to ban them, why not just go all out and ban them outright.

I think our democrats have already visited Disneyland many times that they are not even worried about not getting a visa to Amrika anytime soon hola.

They demanded the resignation of the Home Minister. He is still smiling. They demanded that that the guy be declared a ‘martyr’. His family has already received 10 lakhs so that’s like getting a unofficial star on ‘Martyr Hall of Fame’ hola ni.

Who is a martyr? I don’t know. I think the joke is on us. Ten years of so-called eating wai wai and wearing Shikar shoes and killing each other really didn’t make Gyanu uncle leave. It took hundreds of thousands of hardworking citizens who came out on the street that made him concede.

And now, we are being held hostage by the same crooks whom we thought would finally change the country for good. We should thank the UMLs for introducing Nepal Bandhs in the country. We should thank the Maoist for hawa-fuska-ing them cycles and now, let us thank the Congressis for not even leaving the cycle alone.

I guess when there is another Nepal Banda again, let us not even venture out hai…. who knows, these goons might even thrash you for walking on the street. I guess they have proved their point. They are as ruthless and violent as all other great political parties.

And the ‘Shree Tin Maharaja’ of the week award goes to our former Home Minister and wannabe Prime Minister, who is still trying to get to Baluwatar after failing so many times. Hundreds of folks must have lost their beloved mothers that day but only he got to travel in a SUV, with state security from Kathmandu to his gaun to attend his mother’s funeral.

And we have to thank our men in blue for standing in the corner like them mute spectators as the mundreys burned vehicles and thrashed innocent folks. Maybe they should just stay in their barracks and police stations and play ping pong if they are not protecting citizens from such nataks. Save the fuel and chiya kharcha please!

Kimmy dai is dead. Bijukche dai thinks he was a great leader. He also thought the same about Gaddafi. I guess the funding is drying out now since not many dictators left to smooch.

And talking about dineros, it’s not only them kuires taking our hard earned money. Nepal Tourism Board wants to invite Bollywood stars to show us their aerobic dance routines and lip synching nataks. Why not invite Anna Hazare instead and maybe he can teach us a thing or two about fighting the corrupt clowns?

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