Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Immoral Police

Our Nepal Police is back with a vengeance to get rid of all hooligans in the capital. The great folks in blue searched snooker houses, temples, jungles and other so-called secluded corners to get hold of them hooligans.

I guess someone forgot to tell them that if they really wanted to arrest them mundrey gundas then they don’t have to look all over the place. Just visit our netas’ homes and you will find a dozen of them lounging around waiting for their new assignments. 

All of our mundrey gundas are affiliated to one party or another. But of course, our police wallahs want to play safe and arrest young lads with long hair, tattoo or wearing earrings.
So far, our incompetent cops have arrested more than 700 folks in the city for having long hair, tattoos and wearing earrings. Maybe the Barbers’ Association must have conspired with our police wallahs to launch this new security drive. Why are our cops acting like them Talibans?
I hope our cops will leave superstar Rajesh Hamal alone. If all long-hair ones are criminals then we should not allow Indian gurus to visit the country. I have yet to see a Desi Swami with a crew cut.
It would have been nice if the Indian spiritual guru Ravi Shankar had enlightened our police wallahs that having a long hair isn’t bad at all. After all, the long-hair guru had one of his talk thing at the National Police Academy. 

Our netas and civil servants seem to listen to them Desi gurus rather than the general public. So maybe, we should ask them Desi spiritual leaders to conduct a workshop on how to speak and act like a decent human being.
Chhori Maiya Maharjan has been missing for over a year. So far, our police wallahs have no clue on her whereabouts.  Our cops are only good at arresting petty criminals whereas the dons are under the protection of our honest Home Minister.  

If our police officers want to get promoted then they are asked to call the Don from Kavre. No wonder, the good ones are left over and the incompetent cops with boras full of cash are promoted by the Home Ministry.
So, if you have a long hair and wear earrings then you have only two options to prevent our hardworking cops from harassing you. One, just wear a bandana with a hammer and sickle logo. It works like a cop repellent. 

If the cops want to know why there is a bunch of red bandanas hanging inside a snooker house then just tell them that you are leading a local ward meeting of some communist party.
If you are not interested in the ‘political’ natak then you can follow the second option, choose the ‘spiritual’ one. Just wear some Hindu religious garb and gather around the local pasal. Whenever, you see a police van, jump in the air and begin an impromptu bhajan session.  Our cops wouldn’t want to mess with that. 
Them young folks with long hair were photographed, finger printed and their guardians were called up for no good reason. It would have been better if Nepal Police does the same for the ‘real’ hooligans instead. 

Whenever our cops launch some kind of a drive to nab them gangsters, not even one of them is at home. While most of us can’t seem to get hold of our families and friends due to the useless mobile network, our cops must have satellite phones to inform the gangsters to get out of their house before they come barging in.
Sunil Babu Pant should be given some kind of an award for returning his entire salary he received as a CA Member. Maybe, he had to do so to renew his organization’s registration but it is a pretty cool gesture. Since we will be having another good-for-nothing Constituent Assembly again, maybe we should ask all our former CA clowns to return their salaries.
The country is sinking and our Emperor and his Missus are busy boating in Fewa Taal. While we can’t afford to take a break, our clowns drive up to them resorts or visit foreign lands to get their groove back. It’s fun to be a neta in this land. They get to enjoy the good life while we are still waiting for something good to come out of all this mess.
And let us all feel bad for Inspector Binod Sharma who had the guts to investigate the murder of Dekendra Thapa. Our Home Ministry promoted 58 Inspectors to DSP this week. Sharma was denied promotion even though he was 8th in the list.  If only had Sharma listened to his senior officers and had done nothing in Dailekh then he would have been promoted to DSP. 

Maybe it’s time to police the police. But who will round up them cops who dress shabbily, pick their noses and chew paan parag and spend half their duty time talking on mobile phones? Our IGP saheb could do us a favor if he introduced a fine system for our cops who are drunk on duty , use foul language and act like hooligans.

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