Nepal (Chor)-Police

It looks like our great Nepal Police might need to change their motto soon.  Instead of ‘Truth, Service and Security’, maybe they should go with ‘Torture, Sexual Assault  and Abduction’.  

Sita Rai was robbed and then raped.  She is still waiting for justice but our government doesn’t have time to deal with what Dr. Saheb would have called ‘trivial matters’.

Three of our junior police officers have been arrested for abducting a byapari. They asked for 4 lakhs but the guy managed to get home after paying them 1.5 lakhs.  The only time our cops and cadres are flexible is when it comes to them extortion rackets.

The criminal cops decided to hold his bike so that he could come back with the rest of the cash. But he filed a complaint with the police and the three musketeers are now getting used to the stinky bathroom and the cold dingy cell. Thank God, we still have a few honest cops who listen to the victim’s complaint.

After all them andolans, we had expected our police wallahs to get their act right but they seem to be turning into a bunch of savages as each day passes on.  We must now be scared of the chor-police than our mundrey gundas.

At least the mundrey gundas only go after  government tenders but our cops cast their evil eyes on all common citizens and  will extort, rape and assault them if they get any opportunity to do so. Maybe Nepal Police should set up a new department , how about a  ‘Anti-Police’ squad to make sure their own folks stay in line?

The Desis have now passed a new law to protect their women against sexual violence.  The new law even provides for a death penalty against repeat offenders or if such attacks lead to the victim’s death.  The law criminalizes stalking, voyeurism and sexual harassment.  

Khil Dai should get a similar law passed through an ordinance.  And hope our good for nothing political parties will support such bills.

Our women are not safe in this country but our clowns, civil servants and so-called civil society wallahs seem to have no empathy for women’s plight. 

Our clowns are more interested to protect their own breed instead of helping the common citizens.  Our new Home Minister should issue a new directive and launch a complaint hotline to report abuses by our chor-police. The government has ordered all them ministers to upload their work online. Maybe, we can all check out the complaints against our cops online as well.

Our clowns only care about their own cadres while common citizens do not figure on their ‘priority’ list. I guess we should just stay home during the polls and see how our buffoons fare up this time. If none of us get our thumbs stained then our clowns can’t boast about any people’s mandate. 

Our comrades begged us to give them a chance during the last CA polls. Many of us said fine and voted for them just to see how they would turn out to be. Well, they turned out to be no different than the ones who came before them.

Baidya uncle and his crew have told us that they will be boycotting the upcoming CA polls.  Maybe they should hit the street and come up with ‘If you don’t vote then we will give you a note’ campaign.  While other political parties will be extorting from our fake VAT bill wallahs and other byaparis, the Baidya wallahs can ask for voluntary donation and maybe host a ‘no vote’ party for all of us.

While the political cadres go to the voting booths, we can go to a comedy show hosted by the angry birds. We should ask our comedians to do some mimicry of our buffoons. At least it will help us to forget our misery for an hour or two.

Hari Bansha dai is coming out with his memoirs next month. We are still waiting for Gyanu Uncle’s memoirs. And one day, our new Emperor should pen his memoirs too and let us know all the cool hangouts in Delhi and Noida. Hope he will be kind to share us his guff suff with the Dim Sum and Dosa folks as well.

But of course our Emperor can wait a decade or two because the way things are going in the country, our comrades will continue to make billions and they will be around for another decade until someone else shows up to take the kurchi.

And once again, another convicted politician gets a hero’s welcome after his release from prison. Jaya Prakash Dai was welcomed by his supporters outside Dillibazar prison.  He was beaming with pride as if he was elected the new Prime Minister. 

In all other places, convicted politicians are ashamed to show their faces in public but in this land of ours, the crooks get garlands and common citizens have no choice but to move to them foreign lands.