Khil takes the pill

We all know that our civil servants are incompetent buffoons but we should not be harsh on them for giving us a public holiday to celebrate Gyalpo Losar even though our Sherpa brothers and sisters celebrated the occasion nearly a month ago.

In this age of the New Republic, it is certainly tough to keep track of all festivals celebrated by different ethnic communities. Hope we will have a Ministry of Holidays when we get a real government in the future.

The Holiday Minister’s job will be to celebrate each public holiday with the respective community and we can save taxpayers money if we ask those who are celebrating to fund the minister’s chiya kharcha and fuel expenses as well.

Instead of giving us all a public holiday, why not just let the respective community celebrate their festivals whereas the rest of the civil servants can go back to work and provide the much needed services to the common citizens. 

The Hindus can celebrate Dashain and the other civil servants from different religious backgrounds can go to work then and can take days off for their festivals.

Deep Purple is not coming to town.  The organizers tell us that the English rock band decided to fly back to London from Singapore because they did not want to deal with all the bandas in this land of ours.  

Or is it because our organizers couldn’t sell enough tickets to pay their appearance fee? Whatever the reason, we should let all them international acts know that our bandas last until 5pm and they can always begin their show after 6.

If our organizers really want to make some serious dineros then they should bring Justin Bieber to Kathmandu. Our tweens will certainly be there and they will pay premium price to see the Canadian YouTube wonder.  

So, better hurry up before Bieber burns out and goes into rehab. I would love to see Mumford & Sons play in Kathmandu this year or even Adele would be nice since 98% of Facebook users in Nepal seem to like her Fan Page and they would probably sell their laptops to watch her perform.

The Catholics got a new Pope. The Cardinal from Argentina will now be called Pope Francis.  And we got ourselves a new Prime Monster.  Maybe we should start with a new tradition of having our Prime Monsters’ come up with a new name. Why only let the comrades have the fun with their pseudonyms? 

If Khil dai was allowed to have a new name then what would it be?  Our Emperor should change his name to 'Jadoogar' because he seems to come up with new magic tricks every fortnight. 

Dr. Saheb can change his name to ‘Bulldoze’ because the only thing that has widened in his reign is our roads in the valley. Now we can park anywhere we like until the NEA wallahs finally move the electricity poles a few meters away. 

Khil dai was sworn in by our beloved President, who must now know the oath of secrecy and other swearing-in nataks by heart. Once he’s done playing the President,  he can even moonlight as the swearing-in master for other social organizations as well.

But of course, our taukeys won’t need to find a second job like the Amriki Presidents. We give them life-time supply of vehicles, security and other kharchas. Khil dai will get all them benefits after he leaves office. Maybe he should get two of everything because our former Chief Justices and Prime Monsters get all them state perks. 

Well, Baidya Uncle and his crew are just getting started. After all, they want to show us that they have what it takes to shut down the country. Our Baidya-badis and the other fringe parties decided to call a banda after Khil dai was sworn in as the new head of the interim election government. 

Our political parties do care about our students. They decided to call the banda at 12pm so that our SLC candidates would get an hour to get home. But of course, our clowns don’t want to mess with angry parents of half a million students. And as usual, we hear about rampant cheating and fake invigilators.

If our political parties are looking for future cadres then they should recruit all those expelled for cheating during the SLC exams. After all, the cheaters will not get far academically but will have a bright future in Nepali politics.

It’s near to impossible to conduct the new CA election by mid-June. We all know that Khil dai and his crew will be enjoying their perks till December. And now we have our former civil servants running around town lobbying with the political parties to be mini-sinisters. 

Dr. Saheb entered Baluwatar with a Mustang but decided to leave on a Scorpio. It would have been nice if he had left on a rickshaw so that he could finally breathe in some dust from his biggest accomplishment as a Prime Monster.