Saturday, March 9, 2013

Even Bhagwan has to step aside…

Dr Bhagwan Koirala has resigned as the director of  TU Teaching Hospital.  If Bhagwan can’t save the government hospital then I don’t know who can.  Our incompetent clowns are not looking for a few good men and women.  They just want a political lackey to skim off the funds to enrich himself, his crew and his party.

Bhagwan Dai managed to turn around the hospital in three months. He stopped paying bogus over-time to incompetent employees. He even managed to save Rs 7 million per month. But our lazy bums don’t want a hardworking chief to lead the way. They want a con artist who knows how to waste and squander the funds.  Bhagwan Baba alone cannot fight them forty thieves.

At the end of the day, it’s them incompetent freeloaders who win the battle in this land of ours.   The good ones just have to step aside and let the fools run the show.  Shouting slogans and hanging outside Baluwatar will not make our clowns see the light. Maybe we should just all go on a hunger strike to change the tide.  

But even that might not work because our buffoons are cold-hearted serpents. But we can get noticed by the Guinness World Records wallahs and we could also test the government’s emergency response system and how they will handle thousands of dehydrated protesters.

Baidya uncle and his crew want a share of all them property owned by the UCPN (Maoist).  Maybe, they should just move in and occupy a third of them buildings.  Instead of shutting down the country and making our lives miserable, why not just ask for 30% of all voluntary donations collected by the Emperor and his courtiers.

Our Emperor has now promised the families of the Madi  bomb blast victims Rs 6 million from his own party’s dhukuti after he failed to get some free cash from Rastra ko dhukuti.  But of course, we will have to wait and see if our comrades really want to provide compensation or it’s just another political gimmick for the week.  And if they really do provide the funds then let us all know if it was in cash or cheque?
The Baidya wallahs  want to go back to the ‘land grabbing’ formula. It’s much easier to capture land then capture state powers.  Just eye the biggest plot, gather a bunch of angry birds and plant your party’s flag. And the communists have it easy because they don’t have to wrack their brains to come up with a cool logo. 

It’s the same standard hammer and sickle stuff. Our comrades should also ask the land owner to sign a ‘voluntary lease agreement’ for a Rupee as well.  At least, then it will look like more of a business deal.
Let us all hope that our comrades will use them land for fish farming. Their cadres will get jobs and valley residents can enjoy fresh fish instead of the usual ‘injected’ones from across the border. But our political parties are not interested to create employment or get into businesses. All they can think of is how to extort some dough from the fake VAT bill wallahs.  It’s much easier and all it takes is a phone call and maybe a visit to the voluntary donor’s office for a quick chat.

The bandas are here to stay. We will all have to learn to live with it. Our political parties may forgo their chances to occupy Baluwatar but they will never allow bandas to be banned. But it’s about time to introduce a quota system for them bandas. 

We should allow only one banda per week at max.  Our government can open a new ‘banda’ ministry and our political parties should book their dates at least a month in advance.  It would be nice if we allocated only ‘Sunday’s for banda-kartas.

If your party could not get the third Sunday of the month then better luck next time. And we could have a two-day weekend and maybe productivity will hit the roof. But of course, the only time our civil servants will be productive is when you pay them ‘chiya kharcha’ to move the paperwork from one desk to another.
Binod Chowdhary is in the Forbes Billionaire List.  Now, all our political parties will probably ask him for voluntary donations in dollars instead of Rupees.  Since we now know that he has investment in hotels across the world, our clowns will probably ask for a free night stay if they are nearby. 
Did Nepalaya just get lucky or they knew in advance that our Chow Chow king would be on the List? I think they should also come out with an English version soon.  Binod dai should promise to donate most of his wealth to charity and then he can hang out with Warren Buffet and Bill Gates and get them to eat Wai Wais as well.

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