Saturday, March 30, 2013

Burning Clown Festival

Most of our religious festivals celebrate the triumph of good over evil. Holi is one of them.  Holika couldn’t stand the bonfire while the little boy survived. In the old days, the evil doers perished while the good folks passed the test and went home.  You could pray to the almighty and things would be alright.

In today’s time,  the honest hardworking citizens find it hard to survive whereas the crooked clowns enjoy the good life by looting us all.  We are still praying for our clowns to come to their senses and do what’s right for the country.  But of course prayers are not enough in the age of ‘Kaliyug’. Petitions won’t help and pelting stones will not make any difference either. Maybe we should just ask the mothers of our clowns to get a plank and spank their sons to be ‘real’ men instead of acting like juvenile delinquents.

Holi ends with the burning of the ‘chir’ and it’s about time our event management companies around town organized bonfires as well. They could do a ‘Burning Clown Festival’ similar to the ‘Burning Man’ thing the kuireys do in the US.

The ‘Burning Man’ stuff is about radical self-expression whereas  our ‘Burning Clown’ thing could be our outlet to frustration. There isn’t much we can do to change the system. We got rid of one Maharaja and now we have hundreds.  Everybody wants a piece of the pie and the common citizens don’t even get any crumbs.

Instead of burning effigies during them bandas, we can have one whole day to burn all the effigies we want.  Our political parties can also participate and boast about who had the largest effigies and how much fuel they spent on burning it down. We can broadcast the thing live and ask viewers to vote by SMS. Whoever wins can then rule us like a despot for a year.  After all, whoever wins the unfair and not so free election will loot all they can anyway.

It would be nice if we went back to the old days and had them ‘cross-country’ race. But of course,  our clowns have forgotten to walk let alone run thanks to the free luxury vehicles they get at our taxpayers expense. The only thing running is their mouths and we still haven’t figured out how to shut them up.

Our interim government wallahs were busy playing Holi and so were the Kollywood folks but we really didn’t see any of our clowns dancing and enjoying the colors. Maybe they were all holed up somewhere or were too scared that people would throw other stuff than water and colors at them.

Our Baidya uncles and other 32 fringe parties have announced a 10-day protest program. The minnows are not happy about Khil dai sitting on the kurchi, even if it’s only for a while. After all, they should also get an opportunity to get their hands dirty. Our angry birds are now into stealing laptops from the Election Commission wallahs.

If the Baidya wallahs want to boycott the CA elections then that’s fine but why are you guys seizing laptops from them EC staff who are just doing their job of registering voters? I thought they were into seizing land and what not. But of course, it’s easier to snatch a laptop than land.

Khil dai has done us all proud by showing us that when it comes to nepotism, he thinks the same way as our clowns. Khilly has appointed Drona Raj Regmi as the Attorney General.  And Drona dai’s son is the PM’s personal assistant. Sounds like family ties but that’s how we roll in this land of ours. The Ranas left the building more than sixty years ago but we still follow their rule book when it comes to hiring our near and dear ones.

If our Emperor had his way then when he was having fun at Baluwatar then he would have made the computer operator a General in the army. But of course our Nepal Army wallahs are into fast-track promotion these days. They claim that it is scientific and transparent.  Instead of seniority, you could climb the ladder if you are a serial arse-kisser. Maybe there is a scientific way to do just that.  Even our Emperor has to run around kissing bideshi arses to stay in the game.

The only thing scientific in this country is the public transport fares.  Our civil servants and transport wallahs probably use some unsolved math theorem to come up with the fare hike every three months.

And when it comes to transparency, we all know that our clowns, civil servants and contractors are milking the system but we have no idea where the loot goes. Not everybody hides it under the bed or in their backyard. Maybe, the CIAA should organize a ‘Find The Loot’ contest and reward those who find it with 20% of the loot. Even the near and dear ones of our clowns will join the treasure hunt then.

No comments:

Post a Comment