Saturday, December 1, 2012

Deadlines are for losers

I hope someone from the TU’s English Department will be kind enough to remind our clowns that deadline is the date when something must be completed.  

Yes, once in a while it might be extended, for instance, like when you are organizing a beauty pageant and you don’t get enough participants to cover your expenses.  Manpower companies do extend their deadlines whenever they have a hard time finding enough young folks to be exploited in the Middle East. 

But we are not talking about ‘Miss Ward Number 13’ or ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ here. While common citizens are still hopeful of a new constitution, our clowns are only worried about how to get their hands in the national coffer and enjoy the loot.

What’s the use of a deadline if you keep on extending it for eternity? We are not going to live forever but our buffoons act like they will still be around to see the Halley’s Comet in 2061 AD. 

We might never get 24 hour electricity or paani from Melamchi in our lifetime but at least give us a new constitution. It might not really make any difference in our lives but it will provide us an opportunity to gather at the local chiyal pasal and argue about the violations of articles of constitutions by our clowns.

When we say ‘Peace’, our freeloaders think it must mean ‘Piece’ and then go back to fighting over a piece of the pie.  What must we do to wake up our lazy bums?  A slap here and there is not going to scare these vultures. 

Maybe we should just clap every time one of them fools show up somewhere. If a clown shows up to inaugurate a toilet at the local school, just begin clapping and don’t even let the clown begin his or her speech. 

It will probably be the same lies that he or she has repeated a thousand times. So keep on clapping until the clown has no choice but to leave the venue, hop on a helicopter and head back to the capital.

A student will probably get a bad grade if he or she does not submit her assignments on time.  But there is no pressure for our stupid netas. They know very well that they are not going home with a failing grade if they don’t finish the assigned tasks on time. 

Their parents are not going to chase them with a broom or cut off their TV time.   And their kids are least bit worried about how their parents have ruined this country.  But of course, let us not blame the children for the sins of their parents. After all, most of them crown princelings seem not to follow the news.

Our beloved gave the clowns a week to find a so-called ‘consensus’ candidate for Prime Monster.  Our political parties failed to find the ‘right’ person to sleep in Baluwatar and asked for an extension. The President has once again given them a week to find the new ‘Maharaja’.

So what happens when our clowns can’t agree on the right clown by next week. They will once again ask for another extension and Lord Rama will probably have no choice but to oblige.

Our Emperor didn’t even last 9 months and although nobody had really asked for his resignation, he went ahead and quit because he couldn’t stand the heat. Or maybe he figured out that he would have more free time to hang out with the bidhesis if he stepped aside.

Makune could not win the hearts and minds of the voters but he still managed to crash at Baluwatar. The loser managed to spend 600+ days as our official jester and all he had to show for was a picture with the Obamas. Somebody should have told him to wear a nine-inch heels or he could have been on stilts instead.

Jhallu Baba became our Prime Monster. And what did we get? Nothing… and we really weren’t expecting much. Dr. Saheb can beat Makune’s record of day dreaming in Baluwatar if he manages to stick around until April.

 Baidya Uncle wants ‘Badal’ dai to be our next Prime Monster. Our Home Minister is also tired of being a ‘Deputy’. We don’t know how Badal will do but let us all pray that our Homie won’t be leading the next government. 

Our police wallahs are being forced to look the other way as our Homie hangs out with the mundrey gundas who are on the ‘most wanted list’.

If our clowns can’t agree on the ‘right’ candidate.. then they should either play a card game of marriage with the four finalists or just send the highest bidder to Baluwatar! 

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter to us how they play the game of thrones… we will just be skin and bones still waiting for our ice-cream cone!

No comments:

Post a Comment