Saturday, December 8, 2012

Looking for a ‘Consensus Clown’

The way things are going in our country, a monkey could be the right candidate to lead the so-called national unity government.  Maybe we should get one from Pashupati and have him or her pick out one of them funny cards from the roadside fortune teller when making decisions for the country. 

Our clowns would probably fare worse than the monkeys if they were given IQ tests.

Our political parties have now missed the second deadline and the President has given them six more days to drink tea, crack jokes and do nothing. The President should send our clowns to British Council so that they can learn a few Angrezi words like ‘consensus’, ‘constitution’ and maybe ‘competence’ as well.
While our netas attend the English course at the BC … they can always take their lunch break at the Indian Embassy nearby and enjoy the usual Desi masala-mix lunch. 

After all the Desis do provide free gift hampers to our incompetent nincompoops now and then. The British Embassy can provide free gin and tonic and maybe high tea as well.
 The Kangaroos want their old man to be our Prime Monster.  Wisdom comes with age but it looks our netas are the only group of senior citizens who have no clue on how to make things right.  

Most of us do make better decisions as we grow older. Our netas are a different breed. They continue to act like kids high on sugary drinks, throwing tantrums because they did not get a bigger piece of the birthday cake.
Let’s not be too harsh on them…. after all most of them buffoons have spent majority of their lives talking gibberish and have rarely held any jobs for a decent period of time.  

A year or two working in some school, firm or development projects won’t make one an expert.  If you can’t solve the problems then it’s better to hire folks who can resolve them. 

But our netas only care about their cadres and cousins while the common citizens will now have to think twice before ordering milk tea at the local chiya pasal.
It looks like only lazy bums are fit for Nepali politics. Well, we do have a few smarty pants like Dr. Saheb and other PhD wallahs but just because one has an advanced degree does not mean that the person is capable of making the perfect omelet.
Dr. Saheb could have done us a big favor if he had focused on getting all the clowns on the same bandwagon to write the so-called constitution. But he thought it would be better if we had wider roads so that all the ministers’ gaadis would pass without being stuck in traffic. 

It won’t make a difference even if we have a 12-lane highway in the middle of Kathmandu. We will continue to have idiot drivers and gung-ho bikers who want to show us all that it is possible to squeeze in between lanes without getting run over by a speeding Micro.
I am not against our smarty pant’s nautanki nataks but it’s time our caretaker government handed out free cough syrups and masks to help us deal with the dust storm. 

I hope Dr. Saheb can explain without going on a rant on why the government has decided to withdraw criminal cases against his party’s cadres.  Most of our mundrey gundas are affiliated to the political parties and our clowns do need them to do the dirty work here and there.
Our schools should get rid of ‘Moral Science’ classes because we would be sending the wrong message to our kids by teaching them to be honest and law-abiding citizen. 

I hope someday, a local bookstore will publish a book on how to beat the system. It will probably sell a million copies and maybe bag the Madan Puraskar as well.
The kuireys have ranked our country at the 139th position in the Corruption Perception Index (CPI). That’s not too bad… we are still a less corrupt than the 30+ other countries.  

Our peons want Chiya Kharcha, the section officers want fuel expenses and the hakim sahebs want a Santro for their Missus. And what about our netas? They want to amass enough dough to last seven generations.
But all good things must come to an end.  One day, the looting has to stop and the thieves must pay for their crimes.  

We are always looking out for a savior but we only spring into action when the electricity comes on. Some will rush to charge their mobile phones, some to catch the LIVE football game on TV and some will turn on the motor to fill up their water tyankie. 

We do need a jolt and maybe a kick in our backside to wake us all to demand hisab kitab from them morons. Maybe we should all meet up to find a consensus arse-kicker for now!

No comments:

Post a Comment