Saturday, December 22, 2012

The End of The World

The world did not come to an end yesterday. It’s bad news for some of us. We still have to deal with load shedding, limited water supply and erratic mobile network. For some of our byaparis, they will once again have to worry about paying back their loans and at the same time will have to crack their brains on how to safely hide from angry clients who have paid the full amount for their dream homes that have yet to be built.

We can’t do much except hope that somebody will come up with a new doomsday prediction and we can look forward to the end of the world again. If the world was really going to end then them NASA folks would have alerted all of us.

The CIA people might not reveal the bad news to the rest of the world but they would probably make sure that all American Citizens got their seats on them spaceships a week before any asteroid hits the Earth. Richard Branson would probably make a trillion since he’s really crazy about making widespread space travel a reality.

So the day you don’t find any Americans in the United States, then it’s time to figure out that the world is really going to end. If you stop hearing about Lindsay Lohan getting into trouble then it’s time to ask our local lads at the Pulchowk Engineering Campus to build us a home-made spaceship.

Our netas are the most worried lot since they did promise us that they would find the consensus clown to lead the national looting government by today.  Maybe that’s why they went around town barking like rabid dogs about how they would resolve the political crisis a day after the end of the world.

Well, the world did not end and now we have to go back to our daily life of shortages. We are not complaining. It’s great to be alive and we still have the opportunity to hope for a better tomorrow.

But our clowns have made our beloved President look like a fool. His Excellency continues to extend the deadline and our clowns continue to procrastinate as if they are really waiting for the world to end and then that would solve all their headaches.

Our President is not a crazy wacko like Zuma from South Africa. The South African President believes that he will be safe from HIV if he showers right after being intimate with a HIV-infected person. I think Zuma needs to take a health education class. Well, he’s now 70 but it’s never too late to get an education. Somebody really needs to talk to this guy and teach him safe sex practices.

South Korea now has the first female President. Hope someday, we too will have a woman at the top. The new South Korean President has to deal with the young cowboy from North Korea who likes to launch missiles up in the air. Maybe she can act tough and give him a cold stare and a stern lecture as well.

But of course, our President is a ceremonial figure and the only authority he seems to have is the admin control to undo the ‘unlike’ button on an Army Chief.  Apart from that, he doesn’t seem to have much to do except beg our clowns to get their act together.

A school teacher can fail students if they don’t submit their assignments on time.  Maybe, we should give our President a big bamboo stick and he should be given the authority to spank our clowns if they continue to act like juvenile delinquents. I really am not in favor of corporal punishment but since our laws don’t allow capital punishment, maybe a little bit of spanking will help to straighten out our band of hooligans.

So what should the President do? He could go on national television and throw a rant. Will that help? Probably not but it would at least give us a moment to clap whenever he calls them clowns ‘incompetent fools’. 

Obama is Time’s Person of The Year 2012… let us hope that one day our Lord Ramu will also get on the cover of Time Magazine for making us feel good and believe that things will be alright! Our clowns should learn a thing or two from Obama. Even if he can’t get things done, you still like him because he tells you that there is hope for a better tomorrow.

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