Saturday, November 24, 2012

Do the Right Thing

Dr. Saheb should resign. According to our opposition wallahs, that would be the right thing to do so that all of our crooks can finally come together and form a national consensus government. If we get the so-called national unity government then all buffoons from our major political parties can get together and share the loot. 

After all, why should we leave out the Kangaroos and the Unidentified Moronic Losers from enjoying free lunch? It’s about time our Mao & Madhesi (M&Ms) cared about the other good for nothing freeloaders as well. 

Somebody should remind them that ‘sharing is caring’ and at the end of the day, our parties do need to take care of their cadres or else every one of our clowns will need to wear full-body armors whenever they organize a chiya-paan karyakaram.
Our opposition wallahs really need good event managers.  Why not come up with a schedule like them film festivals around town.  Distribute your flyers to the general public and let us know when we should not be out on the street when the crazy wackos run around town swirling them torches and shouting stupid slogans.
Instead of gathering their cadres for a daily morning chakka jam routine,  use them for something productive.. like a daily ‘pick up the trash’ and sweep the streets campaigns. Maybe they could up the ante and clean up the Bagmati river or if them cadres are really pumped up then we can ask them to dig tunnels so that finally, we can shower with the paani from Melamchi. 

It’s about time our young angry birds learn how to build something instead of acting like they are infected with rabies. I hope our political parties do hand out free rabies shots as well.
Dr. Saheb thinks he should not resign. If he steps down this afternoon then the country will be swallowed up by a dark evil force.  If we believe the conspiracy theories woven by his crew then the world will probably end as soon as he leaves Baluwatar for good.  

And who knows… Darth Vader will show up and take over the country.  Star Wars might be a little old school for the young ones let’s stick with Voldemort for now.

So is Dr. Saheb our Harry Potter? Certainly not. He really doesn’t know any magic except for promising us new tricks and while we wait to be enthralled by his performance, he just moves on to another natak. 

The Emperor was once a real magician but he just ran out of tricks.  And he has also earned himself a badge of honor as he has now joined the official ‘SBYOPC’. No it’s not the “Son, Bring Your Own Personal Chamcha” stuff.   I think all of us can figure out the real acronym ni.
I hope our Emperor will forgive the young lad who wanted to fix his specs. Well, it would be a little tough for him to forget the incident and let us all hope that his security detail won’t be asking his well-wishers to only appear tied up in strait-jackets from now on. 

The Emperor has not commented on the incident yet. I think he should go on national television and proclaim that he has forgiven the fellow who wanted to check if his glasses were designer stuff.
I hope our netas have learned their lessons well. Next time, instead of getting up close and personal, just hop on a pick up truck and wave at your cadres. Maybe our great leaders should just stay home and send their cadres lunch boxes from the local mithai pasal.
Our political cadres have slapped hundreds of hardworking citizens who wanted to go to work or ferry the sick during them bandh days. Tit for Tat is never good.. so next time if you want to vent your anger against one of our clowns then buy a birthday cake and hurl it from across the street so that it will land right on his face. 

I hope our cadres won’t go crazy then and the one who gets the cake on his face can laugh it off and enjoy the sweet stuff. One who wants to be cake-hurler will need a very strong arm and can learn a few tricks by watching Amriki Football.
And what about us? What would be the right thing to do .. as common citizens? Nothing.  If you are stuck in a traffic jam and then you notice one of our clowns riding around in a national flag-fluttering SUV then all of us should stand still and begin slapping each other.Why? So that the patriotic politician can feel the pain. But whom are we kidding?  To our netas, this world is flat and we are the doormat.

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