The new dumplings

Tihar is over and our clowns will get back to their usual nautanki nataks again.  While most of us prayed for Goddess Laxmi for more wealth, our clowns must have spent their Tihar holidays trying to figure out how to topple the caretaker government.

We are not going to get rich anytime soon because the only folks who rake in the moolah are our competent civil servants, contractors and political cadres. The rest of us will just have to put up with the rising food prices and shortages of everything else.

The opposition wallahs plan to launch protest programs after Chhath. It’s the usual crap filled with chakka jam, bandas, torch rallies and what not.  I guess it’s time our buffoons figured out new creative ways to conduct them protest rallies.

Maybe our political parties should learn a thing or two from the Amrikis. The Kuireys spent more than a billion dollars on them political TV commercials during the elections. I don’t think our political parties can spend that kind of money because they need the dough to distribute funds to their cadres and cousins. 

Maybe, they can place their political slogans on them hoarding boards around the city. But please do make it funny instead of the usual ‘Murdabad’ stuff!

Dr. Saheb should just promise our opposition wallahs a little bit more than the usual cut of the national budget. After all, our netas are really good at forging consensus when they get to share the loot ni.

Dr. Saheb failed to clear them debris and pave them roads during Dashain. Let’s hope, we will spend the next Dashain and Tihar free of dust. We might as well start learning how to walk single file on them narrow pavements now.

The dumpling gang change their leaders every ten years. It’s tyam for Mr Xi and Mr Li to take China to new heights. The old generation will get free villas and all the state facilities. Hu and the old crew will spend their days swimming.

The ‘princelings’ will now decide the future of China. Our comrades should learn a thing or two from the Chinese when it comes to them economic reform and what not. And instead of splitting the party and acting like circus clowns high on bhaang, the Chinese like to throw their comrades in prison whenever he or she fails to toe the party line.

The Xi-Li team will have to deal with corruption as the Chinese population are getting tired of corrupt government officials. Here in Nepal, Dr. Saheb and his crew are not a bit worried about getting the bad guys because most of them happen to be a part of his cabinet!

Yes, there are other issues like human rights and freedom of speech and religion that the dumpling gang seem to turn a blind eye to but as long as WalMart gets cheap stuff from the mainland, the Amrikis will leave it to the Hollywood actors and pop stars to talk about Tibet.

I think our comrades should spend a year in Shanghai or Shenzhen and implement some of the stuff they see in the mainland. But our comrades seem to be in love with Mao and his cultural revolution natak.

Even the Chinese don’t mention Mao in every sentence like they did when he was alive.  Late Deng and his crew decided to abandon Mao’s crazy ideas and went for economic reform.

Here in this land of ours, our comrades seem to have no idea on how to build the economy except going for the usual ‘tax increase’ on them vehicles, cigarettes and alcohol stuff.

And it would have been better if them taxes on vehicles were used for building better roads while the taxes on them tobacco and alcohol stuff were used to operate better public hospitals and schools.

But at the end of the day, it’s our netas who get them free rides, booze and what not.

The Amrikis have Obama back in the White House. The Chinese have the new players and what do we have? We are still stuck with the old drunks while our young turks have no choice but to open up meat shops and get into organic farming when they should have been leading the country.

So, if we really want to organize a protest rally then let’s ask our old drunks to step aside and let the young ones show us their dribbling skills. It’s about time all them young political cadres got together and change the guards.

We will even take to the streets with them so that we will finally get folks who know how to update their Facebook statuses instead of the old vultures who still fantasize about Remington typewriters.