Saturday, November 10, 2012

Four More Years of Honey Ale!

President Obama gets to be the most powerful man on Earth again.  He can relax and enjoy his home-brewed honey ale for the next four years.  Romney thought he could turn the tables with the ‘it’s the economy, stupid!’ formula but I guess many Amriki voters still blame W for the mess of the economy!

Romney really turned off a whole lot of Amriki ladies with his ‘binders full of women’ remark as well.  He could have taken some tips from Dubya instead of trying to steal some ideas from Bubba’s playbook.  When you are up against a guy who can speak like it’s some sort of a divine intervention then it’s better to act like a simpleton.

Them Amrikans have certainly voted for a moron in the past (not this time!) but I guess they are not yet ready for a person who doesn’t drink beer or coffee or any sugary drinks. Romney could have been the Mormon President but he should have kept his mouth shut and not disparaged the other 47% of the population. Them folks have their cousins and friends as well and they probably didn’t vote for him either.

Bill Clinton is a vegan now but he used to gorge on burgers and fatty snacks when he was running the show. Dubya  nearly choked on pretzels and Obama likes his home-brewed beer!  Romney only eats top halves of muffins. Maybe he would have won if he had gobbled a dozen muffins on his campaign trail. Maybe he should have kissed more babies and brushed up on Spanish.

We would have never heard of W if Al Gore had asked Bubba to help him out then.  Gore thought Clinton was toxic but Slick Willy still has the touch after all these years. Clinton should thank Ross Perot for helping him to beat Bush senior.  Well, it was the economy but Perot took a chunk of votes from Daddy Bush as well.

Junior got lucky the first time thanks to Florida and of course Gore’s robotic dance moves.  He got lucky again because John Kerry looked French.  He also showed the world that not everyone who goes to Yale and Harvard are geeks or freaks.  Some are just plain stupid.  One day, W will finally learn to pronounce ‘nuclear’ and Texas will go Democrat then.

Obama has to thank the Amriki women, minorities and them young folks for helping him to get re-elected.  They still haven’t lost hope.  Bill Clinton and Bruce Springsteen should get a nice gift hamper from Obama as well.

Romney can place some of the blame on Clint Eastwood. The old man is a fine actor and movie director but he really needs to visit a shrink. You can’t be talking to an empty chair and think you can get away with it. Maybe, he should just visit Nepal and make a movie about our netas and their fetish for chairs!

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize during his first term. What will he win next? Maybe them ‘Nobel’ folks can give it to him again. The first one was for his extraordinary efforts to get along with the bideshis and the second one can be just for sticking around for another four years. He and Putin can come to Nepal and do some paragliding together!

After four years, Obama will leave the White House.  He will then make tons of money from speaking engagements and what not. Here in the land of ours, our netas don’t need to worry about bills and how to make a living after leaving office. They don’t even need to go around delivering speeches for money. They make enough to last a few generations while in office.

W has so far made US$ 15 million from speaking engagements since he left the White House. Obama should be able to make ten times more.  He will need them millions for his Presidential Library and land prices in Chicago are pretty steep compared to Texas. But of course Oprah Winfrey has a few more dollars to spare but their relationship seems to have cooled a bit in the past four years.

Obama will be 55 when he is done playing the world leader.  He can take eight years to churn out eight volumes of his time in the White House. Then he can spend his days surfing and playing ball. I have a feeling that someday he will be a UN Secretary General.

Well, nobody really listens to the UN head anyway but when Obama speaks, the world listens. For now, the only way for Ban-Ki Moon to get all them crazy world leaders to listen to him would be to do them ‘Gangnam Style’ dance moves!

Obama will get more grey hair now. Romney will go back to making more millions from his business deals. And Hillary will be nearing 70 in 2016. Hope Amrika will be ready for her then!

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