Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Take care... caretaker!

Well, here we go again... abuh feri caretaker government rey! Shakespeare daju lay bhanya jastai... abuh who will take care of the caretaker? ... now that is the question ... haha! I have no idea what this 'caretaker' means... one who takes care hola! Poor smartypant, Daaktar Saheb. You are a good man.. Charlie Brown! But what good is it if all of your classmates are bunch of hooligans?

I was hanging out at a local chiya pasal today.. ani overheard in New York bhanya jastai.... overheard in a chiya pasal in Kathmandu bhanoom-nuh! An old guy was talking about Hisila Yami, our 'caretaker' first lady bhan-noo parla ni! I think nobody likes Hisila didi.. khoi kinuh ho!

The old man says ..... "Baburam ko kasari love parya holan"..."Malai tuh Hisila ko Anoo-haar dekh-dai durr laagcha"... abuh lob sob bhanya sabai Brad ruh Angelina ko jastai kaha hooncha ruh hehe! Give them a break.... tyo UK ma Charlie boy lai tuh hay-ruh... he's happy with Camel.. err .. Camilla... they are happy.. so let's all be happy ni!

Hisila Yami is a smart woman. But I don't know why people say bad stuff about her. They say .. she is fugly. Sujata Koirala is fugly because she came back to Nepal and left her German husband and his beer garden! Nothing wrong with that.. you don't have to stay with a bloke or bloke-ni if you are not happy but don't come back and screw up Nepal Airlines ni! Look at NAC now.... arko barsa ma tuh plane ko saa-tto tyo hot air balloon saloon kiney hooncha hola!

Some people say.. Hisila didi only wants her clan to get them high-level posts etiyaadi... ani sabai paisa uthau-nay rey party ko naam maa! Kay uni matrai hoon tuh... look at our Madhesi mantris.... at least tyo ghee-chey ko paisa lay Madhes ma kehi bikas garnoo ni.

I think she just needs to put on a little bit of kay bhancha.. makeup ... shake-up. Maybe, Promise Tamang Phan can give her some tips hola! Ani shake-up ni... no, I am not talking about adding or subtracting ni feri.. hehe! I think she should dress up like some M&A analyst for Bank of America kya ! I think she can kick Prachandoo's arse anytime, any day ...that woman got balls! I didn't say that.. tyo AC/DC lay bhanya ho hai!

Yes, our comrade chairman has already told his crew that they will now have to prepare for the choonaab.. so it's tyam to get out them greeting cards and start sending love letters to byaparis, tender-wallahs and apaharan-kaaris hola ni! Kay garney... this is not like Amrika where you spend half a billion dollars on them funny TV ads attacking your opponent. Yeha, tuh afnai party ko manchey po dushman ho tuh!

Ani talking about choonabi-kharcha... our top fundraiser for the Mao Inc... the trade union boss, Shalik Ram Jammai-Cartel is now into pig-farming rey. Yes, he did receive a few crores from the so-called Youth Self Employment ki kay fund ho! Now the question chahi.. is Shalik dai paying his farm staff enough? Aroo ko factory sactory ma chahi daang doong.. now if his employees are not happy with them minimum wage then where do they go to do some daang doong?

Here, in Nepal.. we don't have to convince them voters... we just have to either scare them (you need like 40 mundrey gundas!) , beat them up (laathis will do!) or threaten to burn down their ghar shar or something! Our political parties need them dough because they have to make sure that their cadres are well-fed. And they have to hire mundrey gundas and they bill by the hour rey... hehe!

So all them so-called (illegal) campaign contribution (or extortion) is not spent on convincing them voters to vote for them parties.... it is well spent on karyakartas.... din ko dui chaak masoo bhat khaa-noo nai paryo! Ani naara-baazi garnai paryo.. jhan gaam saam ma tuh sabai ghar ma jaa-dai 'loo note lee ani vote dey natruh talai hami lay goh-dey!'

Tyesai karan hola... Nepal ma, our politicians don't have to kiss them babies or hang out at the local chiya pasals and have a jeri-swari and doodh-chiya. Whereas in Amrika, Mitty dai will have to go to Denny's and eat them specials hehe! And Obama will probably kiss more babies than I don't know who.

Hamro desh ma tuh how to connect with the voters tuh parai jaa-wos.... how to make sure you threaten them folks or give them a pig or a khasi and win them votes ko kura hooncha... yesto cha yaha ko chalan!

And then a young patrakar, sipping black tea tells me 'black tea helps to control diabetes' ..... I thought he had them sugar ko problem. Hoinuh rahecha... 2.7 chamcha chini haley ruh chiya piu-nay lai sugar naw-pugya nai ho! Patrakar bhai says 'Manisha Koirala lai kay bhoot chadya ho.... Gyanu Uncle ko laagi website khol-ney'.

I didn't know but somebody has created a website rey.. nepalroyal.com ..... Manisha Koirala lay nai kholya chahi hoinuh hai! How do I know? I think she is a little too busy trying to get some feelims from Ramu dai and them Bollywood wallahs! Nepal ma pani kay kay guff soo-roo hooncha! Leave Manisha alone. Yes, she is having problems with her hubby. Yes, she drinks a lot ani tyo pani without any paani.... and she is a Raja-badi! So what.... kinuh tauko dookhnay.... ho! Afno kaam garney ni!

Now, let's get back to the story of the day.. hehe! Baburam is a good man. He has like Rs 14,233.22 in the bank. Bhaako purkhauli jagga pani chori ko naam ma diye chan. Good! I think Baburam should now focus on cleaning Bagmati. If he can do that, then he will probably be the first Maharaja of Newa Rajya hola.. hehe! Abuh caretaker bhaye pachi kehi kura ko tuh take care garnoos nuh Dr. Saheb!

Garmi ko mausam cha.... Dr. Saheb, kakro dherai khaanoos, watermelon pani.... ani tension naw-linoos. Gorkha baatuh tuh jahiley pani jit-nai ho. Makune jasto hoinuh ni! Maathi ko photo hay-rey ruh haas utcha hola.

I don't just get it sometimes... our netas and netinis started out as 'angry young men or naariz' .. they really wanted to bring tyo change sange hola ni ... ani dherai lay sacrifice tuh garya pani ho and then some got lucky and became mantris and pradhan-mantris pani! Taruh sabai lai lastuh ma karyakarta paalnai paryo, afno manchey lai bharti garnai paryo!

I think there is something wrong with our Kathmandu ko paani! Janta haroo lai jahiley pani pet ko dukhai... neta haroo ko chahi buddhi nai bhrasta hoonay!

In 2022, Baburam will still be the same. Hisila Didi.. I don't know but she will stand by her man even if she's wearing Jimmy Choo high heels then. But where will our Prachando Baba be? I don't know... since he is already a Shree Aath Maharaja, maybe the 5th Constituent Assembly then.... will decide to abolish 'Pracho-narcy' hola ni.

Guff haak-naw garo hoo-do rahecha ni baani chootay pachi... hehe! Trying to get back to daily guff suff because if I don't then I might spontaneously combust hola! And my coach tells me... 'Get a grip.... You.. Beta... You!' And no we are not talking about Aerosmith ko 11th studio album hehe!

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