Monday, May 28, 2012

Four years and wasting.....

It took our clowns four years and 9 Arab (no not the middle-eastern ones kya!) and they still couldn't get their act together hagi! Khoi kay bhanney... our smartypant, board-first wallah didn't come first this tyam. I think we should blame our uncle Prachandu nai hola! Emperor lay sabai lai ghoom-au naw khojya... aroo lay nai ghoomai diyo Shree Aath Sarkar lai!

After all, if Baburam had somehow gotten all the Madeshis and other morons together to go for the first draft of the so-called constitution then he would still be wearing 'always first' tag !

Anyways, let me try to be a political analyst like the rest of our folks! Everybody is a political analyst in this land of yours and ours! It only takes a cup of special 'chiya' at them local chiya pasals and then you can go on a rant for like 33.2 minutes kya.... then the chiya pasal-ni will be like 'you want another cup of tea or do you want me to kick you out of the tea-shed?' hehe!

If our clowns had given us the first draft of the constitution then we would have the Madhesis, Indigenous and nearly every other different ethnic fronts (aroo pani tuh cha ni.... ) going crazy with more bandas and what not hola! Swami Mick Jagger once said 'You can't always get what you want' or something like that.

Somebody is not going to be happy ni. Baroo no constitution and now everybody is trying to figure out what to do next.. hehe! Now our budo-clowns the Nepali Kangaroos and the Unidentified Moronic Losers (UML) want Baburam to step aside so that they can run the show until the next elections!

Well, only the Maoists and the Madeshis have saved some dough for the next elections kya! So I think the NC and the UML should get their chance to make some money so that they can win some seats hola! They want the President to save the country rey. Abuh kay ko state of emergency laagoo garney ni.... I don't think the aliens have begun their invasion yet!

Abuh NC ruh UML ko paalo gayo! Yes, Kamal uncle seems to be the only guy who is happy with Baburam's idea of another election... hehe! Kamal dai lay tuh bhanya ho ni... choonab garoom ki referendum. Abuh feri arko 9 Arab khaaney holan tuh sabai so-called CA II ka members haroo lay!

Kamal dai knows that jay garey pani... we are not having Gyanu Uncle back! But he keeps on singing the same tune.... He doesn't like them steaks or any of them secular stuff kya! Gyanu Uncle would have ruled for the next 50 years if he had googled 'Steve Jobs' then!

Yes, instead of increasing your bhatta from 10 to 60 crores.. he should have said 'Janta haroo ho... I will only take a Rupee.. and that's it!' .... pachi sabai thula thula tender baatuh 10% khaye hoon-thyo ni!

But of course, now we have spent more than we could have if we still had the House of Shah but then we wouldn't have so many TV channels and Miss 'Everything' beauty pageants if the King was still around ni! But we sure miss him now because we really don't have anyone to blame for all our problems! Blame our clowns.. khoi.. hami lay nai pathako ho kyaaaruh haami lai nai loot-nuh!

I think our Uncle G should take some of the notes from them playbook of our Indian Maharajas. Everybody from Gwalior to Kashmir to UP ... sabai ka former raja haroo are now MPs in them Desi Parliament kya! Abuh ko Naya Nepal ma Gyanu Uncle lay pani party kholey hooncha!

The Madhesi netas left them NC and UML and formed their own Madhes-based parties and look at them now. They got all them lucrative ministries and koorchi ma bas-nuh paa chai-nuh paisa khaney ki rookh kaatney ki hospital ko saa-maan bechney ki karmarchari lai saruwa garney matra kura .. ani kya maja-ley ghee-chyo ni hagi!

I think our so-called Indigenous netas will also quit them so-called budo parties and form their own JanJati parties! Yes, that's the only way they will ever get to be them mantris and make some dough as well.... so NC and UML will be like our RPPs.... former pancheys bhanya jhai... former prajantara-baadis bhaney hooncha!

Abuh ko Naya Naya Nepal (Yes, Naya Part II soo-roo bhayo ni abuh!).. ma it will be the Madhesis, the Maoists and the Indigenous parties having some fun! Bam Dev can go to India and take a course or two from Ram Dev. Jhallu Baba should go back to Ilam and I don't know.... be a school teacher and open a tea farm hola!

Madhav Nepal is just happy because as a former Prime Minister, he already has a new ride, free petrol and security pani! Abuh arko choonab jitney hoinuh kyaaruh.... lau makune moaz garr! Yes, hamro government lay feri diney bhaye ni.. sabai Bhoo-Poo PM haroo lai .. them free goodies! Ani Lokey uncle ruh Surya baajey lay pani gaadi paye chan!

So... another 6 months of nautanki natak..... and then choonab.. ani feri arko CA hola ni! I think our netas will keep on showing us the same natak for the next twenty years ... 2022 ma chahi... we will probably have our constitution but all of us would probably have left the country by then !

Baroo sabai jana 10 barsa ko laagi bidesh gaye hooncha... ani hay-room nuh kasari talab paakcha yee mora sarkaari hakim haroo ko! Aakhir hamrai kar tirya paisa khaney tuh ho ni bhatey chor neta ruh hakim haroo lay!

Jay bhaye pani.... it's about tyam somebody started a 'capitalist' party. I wouldn't join because I am a born-again anarchist hehe but I think we have had enough of them socialist and communist crap-wallahs! Baroo.... Capitalist Are Right Party (CARP) kholay hooncha! But don't just put Donald Trump ko poster ni feri! Baroo Warren Buffet ko chahi hooncha hai!

Ki chahi baroo aroo ko copy nai garnoo cha bhaney... Singapore ko Lee Kwan Yew baajey ko copy garey hooncha. Nepal ma pani People's Action Party (PAP) kholay hooncha. Then all the mundrey gundas lai chaak ma korra haan-ney ni!

Sabai neta haroo pani parcha ... baroo live telecast garey kaso hola... or we can do it in Rangasala... while we munch on them paani pooris and swallow like 4 vyar vyar momos at once... while the cane-master canes them chors!

After all, we all want to make some money hoinuh ruh! Ek dui paisa baw-naam, ali ali mitho khaam, garmi ma pankha kinum, jaado ma duita siraak... gaas baas ruh kapaas matruh tuh ho ni. Hami sabai lai tender sender ma mundrey gunda lai hire garey ruh karod karod khanoo chaina. Land Rover chadney rey.... manchey haroo khanaw na payeko desh ma 1 karod ko gaadi chawd-nuh laaz laagnoo parney ho... afno bau ko paisa hos ye lootya paisa kya!

Who really wants to work in a commune and dance all night? I would .. but of course... ek dui mahina matra ramailo hola ni! Rolpa , Dolpa ma kehi garey nuh Mao-baadi lay.... ghanta ko people's war... pee on the people war nai bhayo ani abuh dheki halyo ni.. rip-off-the-public (republic) maa!

I am sick and tired of them communist wallahs and their 'Mao-Stalin-Lenin' posters... MaSaLe hehe! No, I am not talking about them former undeground Masal wallahs who joined the Maoist party or hey... Ma Saale sounds like a gaali paani rahecha.

I have no freaking idea what I am writing today.. it's been a long tyam kya! Jay Hos.... Muh chahi 'Nepal Hisab Kitab Party' kholney plan ma choo! All we will do is ask for them hisaab kitaab, debit credit, joad-ghatau etiyaadi! The first thing we should do now is go to all them CA members ko ghar or dera or goat (not the khasi, tyo kay bhancha animal shed bhanya!).

Then we ring a bell like them 'Salvation Army' wallahs hehe.. and then sing a song .... 'Ye Bhaatey or Mori.... paisa firta dey hamro' ... luh geet ko first line tuh lekhi diye abuh tyehi Acharya brothers haroo lai geet gau-nuh bolau-ney ho ki!

And let us stop blaming India for all our problems. Baroo read Seto Baagh again.... that's when it all started... desh ko dhukuti khaney chalan.. so maybe we should ask our friends at them Pulchowk Engineering Campus to build a time machine.. we can go back in tyam and save Shree Tin Ranodip .. haha! Yestai ho... sabai ko din aucha... 104 barsa pani gayo, 240 barsa pani gayo, 30 barsa pani gayo, 20 barsa pani... sabai ko palo aucha... taruh hamro chahi .. hehe.. yestai rahecha yeha ko chalan!

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