Saturday, April 21, 2012

Save the Police...

Our Home Minister finally got his way and now we have 10 more SSPs than needed. We already have eight AIGs who are busy drinking masala tea and we have about three dozen DIGs who get free rides but don’t have much to do otherwise. And now we have more than 70 SSPs who will take over the same jobs previously handled by our SPs.

Yestai taal ho bhaney, we will have SPs heading the local community police posts and our Inspectors will no longer get to make extra pocket money in Durbarmarg and Thamel. Instead, the young turks who are busy harassing restaurant owners in Kathmandu will probably be heading police posts somewhere in Darchula and Tehrathum hola.

Let us not blame the ‘homie’ for doing some chal-khel in the transfers and promotions natak. After all, his predecessors have done the same and who wants to change the system that lays the golden eggs hoinuh ruh?

Our IGP saheb is pretty pissed off at his fellow officers and he is not happy with the way our ‘honest’ Home Minister has once again used his ‘political’ power to promote his favourites. Our ‘homie’ has vowed to curb corruption and practice zero tolerance policy. Well, so far it’s working mighty well…our policewallahs are finding it tough to make extra dough as they exhaust their savings to get promoted.

The only good news about the recent SSPs’ promotion natak was that our hero, Ramesh Kharel, was also promoted. If all goes well and he doesn’t rock the boat too much then he will likely be our IGP someday. If Kharel had his way, our Home Minister will probably have competent officers hanging out with him instead of gangsters.

Neither seniority nor merit count in our police force. Well, that is not to say all our senior officials are a bunch of loafers. These people are really professionals but our politicians have turned them into zombies. Some of them are too frustrated and wait for retirement after getting pushed over for promotions for years. Some of them have no choice but to run around our netas and do the usual ‘chakadi’ dance!

IGP Shah is lucky he got to be the chief even after he was stepped over by his junior thanks to the blessings of our politicians. Well, the former IGP got stuck with the Sudan mess and Shah got to be the IGP but not everyone is lucky to get promoted on his or her own merit or due to some scam.

Afno manchey is still alive and kicking in ‘New’ Nepal and not much will change unless Mohan Baidya gets to take over the country. Then, we probably won’t have any mancheys in the police force nai! The insurgency is long over and I don’t know why we need 100,000 army wallahs and 40,000 APF wallahs!

Instead of integrating our PLA combatants into the national army, why not have them join the police force instead? Well, it’s too late now and by the time the Nepal Army is ready to select eligible PLA combatants, there might not even be enough to fit a truck since it looks like everyone wants to retire and take the money and run.

Instead of adding more senior positions with no meaningful roles…our politicians should hire more lower-ranked police wallahs so that come next year, our parents will be discouraged from pelting stones at them during the SLC exams!

After all, everything is a numbers game in our country. A thousand villagers are not scared of a dozen police wallahs stationed in some remote village ni and Lazimpat residents showed us that if you are united and can get more than a dozen people then even the police wallahs don’t have the courage to laathi-charge to make way for them bulldozers.

Our political players have changed in the past 30 years. We have indeed come a long way from Mandaleys to Maoists and Madhesis…but nobody has had the time to think about reforming the police force. I guess everyone was busy promoting their own mancheys and making some moolah on the side.

The lower-ranked police wallahs need to learn how to speak, act, and drink. How come nobody has filed a petition at the Supreme Court to prevent our police wallahs from abusing common citizens both verbally and physically? Why are we more afraid of the cops than the chors? And who gives the Inspector the right to slap a restaurant owner just because he failed to recognise the man?

I think it would be better if our new constitution had a ‘30 year’ service rule for our politicians than our police wallahs. We might have a new political system and provinces but when will we get a normal police wallah who knows how to speak without cursing, and investigate crimes without slapping and hitting everyone in sight? And can somebody show me the police manual where it says ‘you can drink raksi on duty’? At least Glucose paani tuh understandable ni.

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