Stop Foreign Junk

Our incompetent government has introduced new criteria for foreign junkets of our clowns and civil servants. We all know that those in power and authority are the ones who break all the laws of the land. This new criteria natak looks good on paper like every other stuff our government comes out with but such nataks fail because our government can't enforce anything.

They fail to take action against our black-marketers, transport mafia, fake VAT Bill byaparis and sellers of adulterated and substandard products. So, hoping that the government will take action against their own chors if they violate such directives is like expecting the Principal to spank the teacher who spanked you. 

If every chor is having fun then you might need a thulo chor to stop the party. Now, we need to organize a competition to figure out who has been on the most foreign junkets in the past year and ask the chor to head the 'Stop Foreign Junk' committee.

Ours is the only land in the world where our hakim sahebs and clowns go on foreign junkets just to spend our taxpayers money. These buffoons think that they are entitled to such freebies because they are in power or top positions in the government. We pay our taxes so that our civil servants and clowns can be fed. We pay our taxes so that these buffoons can take care of their families.

But our taxes are not enough. The funds meant for development projects and to build infrastructure are siphoned off by our freeloaders so that their families can live like kings while the common folks have to wait for Dashain to afford a few chicken wings.

The common folks will have to plan ahead and save for months if they want to take our family to Chitwan or Pokhara. Our hakim sahebs and clowns will look around for conferences and what not and beg the bideshi dalals to invite them. Some get free tickets while some make sure that they get to spend our taxpayers' money so that their families can enjoy free shopping and tour.

Maybe, it would be better if our government also provides free domestic and foreign trips to lucky citizens every month. Yes, give a family of four a week-long trip to Singapore or Bali once a month at the taxpayers' expense. We wouldn't mind it. After all, at least one taxpayer and his or her family get something back from the corrupt government.

Our clowns visit foreign lands but fail to learn a thing or two. They first need to visit an ENT doctor and get their eyes and ears fixed.  Maybe then they will able to see clearly the development in foreign and and listen to the conversations of competent bideshis and what they do to make their land better. 

Our thulo mancheys only know how to use their mouth and that too only to beg for a few Dollars or scholarships for their kids whenever they visit their masters overseas.

If our government strictly enforces the so-called new criteria then corrupt thulo mancheys will have to follow certain guidelines when it comes to giving and receiving gifts. I guess we should have only certain items classified as gifts that can be given by our corrupt chors such as a Dhaka Topi or Gunyo Cholo,  Khukhuri or Khukhuri Rum, Yarsagumba or a packet of Gundruk. 

When it comes to receiving the gifts from foreign dalals, our clowns and civil servants should only accept t-shirts and ties. They can wear the tie when attending ribbon cutting ceremonies back home or wear the 'I Love NY' t-shirt to bed.

Our President, Prime Minister and so-called top officials can only take no more than 22 folks along for a foreign trip. Although the committee that came up with the criteria has suggested not allowing folks who have nothing to do with the trip to tag along, it would be difficult for our thulo mancheys not take their spouse, kids or cousins with them. After all, who doesn't want to take their near and dear ones to foreign lands when it is all paid for and you even get a daily stipend?

Many of our civil servants and clowns themselves save a few hundred dollars on such trips except for Baburam. This man only needs two rotis, daal and some sabji for dinner. He doesn't have a large appetite nor does he need bideshi whiskey unlike most of our evil doers. But I don't know much about Hisila Didi. I think she needs to learn a thing or two from her hubby as well.

Our ministers and hakim sahebs will not be allowed to go on foreign trips sponsored by INGOs. Yes, we are all tired of bideshis inviting our clowns and civil servants on conferences on how to bring peace or alleviate poverty or eradicate corruption from our land. 

All them conferences have not changed the mindset of those in power. If our bideshi donors really want to help our land then they must ask their immigration department to bar anyone holding a Diplomatic Passport from Nepal. Maybe, when they have nowhere to go, our clowns and civil servants will sit on their desks and do their job well.

At the end of the day, no matter what criteria our incompetent government comes out with, our thulo mancheys will not follow them. Our sharks have no morals. They have no shame when it comes to enjoying the loot. Our Emperor was in Delhi recently and now our great 'Pajero' man Deuba is busy enjoying his guff session with Desi leaders. 

I think we should just implement a total ban on our clowns from visiting Delhi. Save a few Rupees by just visiting the Desi Ambassdor in Lazimpat instead of taking a flight to Delhi. Our clowns and civil servants can learn a thing or two from the Desis. Their civil servants and clowns sing the same song regardless of their political affiliation when it comes to their 'Nepal' policy unlike ours who neither do their homework nor are on the same page when dealing with bideshis.