Saturday, November 29, 2014

Back to reality

Well, the 18th SAARC Summit is over and it's back to the daily grind for all of us except for our clowns.  We will once again have to get used to the daily traffic jam whereas our clowns will get back to business of doing nothing but agreeing to disagree on everything. 

NaMo tells our clowns to give us a constitution based on consensus. Why can’t our buffoons get their act together without bidhesis telling them what to do? Maybe NaMo should also offer free scholarships and medical care for our clowns and their kids if they can deliver us a constitution by January 22nd,2015. 

After all, our freeloaders do not agree on anything unless they get more perks and benefits. Our foreign donors should also offer our freeloaders free trip overseas. Maybe, all of our Constipated Assembly (CA) members can go to Disneyland in Amrika once they give us a constitution.

We have spent billions of Rupees to host the two day event. Was it worth it? Well, most of our major roads are now clean and shiny but it will probably take our Road Department wallahs another decade or two finish their work on our inner roads. Let us hope that the new flowers and plants will survive for at least a month.

The even-odd license plate driving natak certainly made our lives miserable during the Summit but it could really help us ease our traffic jams if we made it permanent. I think it will also make us more productive as we will be scrambling to get things done today than putting it off for tomorrow. It will also help us save some fuel and breathe in less fumes as well. 

What's up with NaMo and NaSh? These two politicians were acting like lovers who recently broke up their relationship. They refused to acknowledge each other and were sulking during the Summit. But they did manage to look cool by finally shaking hands at the end of the day. 

Maybe, if these two bhai bhais were offered milkshakes at arrival then we wouldn't have to wait for two days to see the handshake. India and Pakistan will never get along and us, the chimekis will have to get used to it. I think they should sort out the 'Kashmir' issue over a game of cricket once and for all.

It would have been nice if NaMo had visited Janakpur, Lumbini and Muktinath but as usual, our incompetent buffoons managed to screw it up. NaMo can help us bring hundreds of millions of  Desi tourists for religious pilgrimage. But our government wallahs are not interested to renovate, upgrade and add more services at such religious places. 

Whatever happened to our Emperor's promise of bringing US$3 billion investment to Lumbini. I guess, we will have to wait for another election before hearing about another billion dollar investment in Lumbini.

I think we should invite NaMo once a month to visit at least one of our districts. Our government will probably do everything they can to build better roads and plant more flowers and what not. 

Nepal Tourism Board (NTB) won't have to spend millions of Rupees on promoting Nepal overseas.  The NTB folks can do us all a favor by visiting Delhi and shooting a minute long promotion by NaMo. 

Just ask him to request all Hindu Desis to visit Pashupatinath, Muktinath and Janakpur once in their lifetime. He can ask Buddhist Desis to visit Lumbini as well.  Upload the video in YouTube and when the Desis arrive in millions, we can all laugh all the way to the bank.

We are blessed with the highest mountains and beautiful natural sceneries. We have to thank God or plate-tectonics depending on our religious or scientific affiliation. But thanks to our incompetent government and transport mafia, we are losing out on making billions of dollars from tourism.

Once again, NaMo suffered from some kind of phobia whenever he is inside his bullet-proof vehicle. He had to get out and get some fresh Kathmandu air and mingle with the common folks. NaMo is the most powerful man in the SAARC region. He is not scared of the people but our own clowns are even scared to get out of their vehicle even when they are surrounded by our Rambos.

Let us all congratulate Sushil Da and his crew for making the SAARC Summit a success. We don't know if we will get anything out of it but it would be nice if all SAARC leaders had left with a plane full of promotional brochures to remind their people to visit our beautiful country.  

And our municipality wallahs should make sure that they continue their campaign to fine thousands of Rupees for litterers. Our Traffic Police should confiscate vehicles of reckless drivers for at least a month and Sushil Da should order government agencies to finish their road work, khaneypani pipe installation and other public works by next month.

What about the constitution? Let us all keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best. 

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