From Dawn till Dusk

Our incompetent government has decided to help us all by opening some of our government offices for 12 hours a day. From December 16 onwards, our government offices providing so-called urgent services will remain open from 6:00am till 6:00 pm and even during public holidays.

If you are an early riser then you can pay your utility bills, renew your driving license and get a new passport while on your morning walk. Or you can do so while you go for vegetable shopping in the evening. 

Our civil servants are the most hardcore supporters of the 'Nepali Time'. They always show up one hour late and leave home an hour early. Now, we will have lazy bums working in two shifts, making us go round and round and waste half a day or even a few days to get the services we need. 

It would be better if our incompetent government made it mandatory for all civil servants to remain in their desks during working hours. We wouldn't be really needing two shifts if our 'Chiya Kharcha' wallahs showed up at work on time and didn't spend hours watching YouTube videos or playing 'Solitaire'.

Our civil servants get their tea served at their desks. Why do they need a 'Khaja' break that lasts half a day?  They can eat their chana-chiura or momos at their desks while they sign our papers. We won't mind. 

We all need bathroom breaks but it must not last longer than 10 minutes. Our civil servants disappear in the restroom for hours while the service seeker cannot last more than 10 seconds inside those stinky restrooms in our government offices. 

But most of us don't even know where the restrooms are and don't even think of using it because we are so caught up with trying to find out where the person who needs to sign our papers has disappeared.

I think our clowns who are enjoying all the freebies as our CA members should tighten up their belts or petty-coats and get serious about giving us a constitution by January 22nd, 2015.  

Our so-called leaders are busy either visiting remote districts or are out of the country, trying to kiss some bideshi arse. We hear that our Emperor was having fun with all the Kodo ko raksi and khaski ko masu while other loafers were in India trying to get some free laddoos from the Desis.

I think our cops should stop harassing the common citizens by frisking them at major checkpoints around the valley. It would be better if our government made it mandatory for all CA members to remain the valley until they can give us a new constitution. Our CA Chairman Subash Nembang has been repeatedly requesting our loafers to end the political deadlock and focus on giving us a new constitution. 

Nembang always reminds our freeloaders to not to disappear to foreign lands but none of our clowns seem to care. I think it's about time Nembang stop acting 'soft' and learn how to curse, swing chairs and even throw stuff at our CA members to show his displeasure at their nautanki nataks. Who cares about House rules and etiquette?  

Most of our CA members act like juvenile delinquents and seem to have no manners, morals or even an ounce of self-respect. Have you no shame? How can you continue to get paid to do nothing?

We, the common folks have got it all wrong. We go after our local plumber or electrician for messing up the work at our homes but we just watch and sit idle while our clowns are messing up this land of ours.

Our government should instruct the security personnel to prevent our freeloaders from leaving the valley or even the country. But our government and our civil servants only know how to harass the public. I think it's time we all got together and dug ourselves a tunnel so that we can at least reach the other end of the valley without worrying about our security personnel treating us like terrorists. 

It's a shame that our government can deploy thousands of security personnel to protect a dozen or more Very Irritating Persons (VIPs) but can't do the same to protect the common citizens in the valley.

Instead of deploying 26,000 security personnel, why not just declare a state-sponsored 'Kathmandu' Banda so that we can all stay home and enjoy a two-day holiday? That could at least save us millions of Rupees so that our security personnel won't have to work double shifts protecting the SAARC leaders from the Nepali people. 

We are not hosting the Olympics or the FIFA World Cup or some UN Summit where leaders from all over the world are coming to Kathmandu to eat our vyar vyar momos. It's just the SAARC Summit where nothing really happens. It's not like Putin and Obama will be in town to try our local rice beer or vodka. 

Maybe Sushil Da can ask NaMo and NaSh to stop their intelligence agencies from meddling into other chimeki's business. I think it would be better if these two Na Na got together and invaded Britain. 

After all, Let us all the blame the British for the mess in our region. The colonies get free passes while comrades in arms get short-shifted! If the British were really our friends, then they would have at least given us a beach or two!