Saturday, December 6, 2014

C for Corruption

According to the Transparency International (TI), we are now ranked 126th out of 175 countries in the Corruption Perceptions Index (CPI).  Let us congratulate our clowns, civil servants and contractors for helping us slip down 10 positions from the previous year. If we follow the current trend then don't be surprised if we are at the bottom of the list by 2020. 

Our politicians have been ripping off the public but we simply don't have any courage to stand up and fight back. We are slowly turning into a police state where freedom is speech is a crime. 

Police brutality has been increasing over the years and our police wallahs do not discriminate when it comes to thrashing protesters, be it the monks, women or even children and senior citizens. 

It's about time our police wallahs learn other techniques to control the crowd peacefully and without violence. Maybe, we should have meditation classes for our cops. Let us move away from laathi-charging and kicking common citizens. IGP saheb could do us a favor if he introduced a new guideline on how his police personnel should speak with the public. I don’t think we are all born foul-mouthed.

Our political parties are the most corrupt institutions we our land.  Our so-called leaders only think about their cousins and cadres instead of the country and common folks. If it weren't for our clowns trying to make money from every government contracts or postings and transfers, then we would have a more efficient bureaucracy. 

Our sarkari peons make more than mid-level managers in the private sector. And they make double their salary from chiya kharcha from service seekers. Our hakims sahebs make less than 50 grand a month but they have property worth millions.  Our Army Generals and senior police officers live like kings. No wonder their wives are called 'Maharanis'. 

Our clowns sacrifice everything to fight the system and once they get the kurchi, they forget everything and engage in corruption. Those politicians who are good at extorting the dough from civil servants, contractors and con artists get the ministerial position.  

Yes, Sushil Da is an honest man and he has only three mobile phones to his name but the rest of the crew are having fun with the kickbacks.

Our netas and hakim sahebs are not ashamed. It is us, the common citizens who are embarrassed by such reports.  e already have one of the world's worst international airports and our government agencies are least bothered about it. I think TIA should only allow patients suffering from chronic sinusitis to enter its restrooms.

Our super hero Lokman has been busy going after the small fishes but he has yet to catch the big sharks.  It seems that the CIAA is only able to go after low-level employees while the big hakim sahebs and our mantris get away with the loot. 

If Lokman wants to have a comic book like Batman and Superman, after he is done with his CIAA stint, then he should arrest all personal aides of our former mantris and top leaders. These personal aides must have their black books somewhere. If we can get hold of them diaries then we will probably know how much bribes have been received from civil servants seeking promotions and lucrative transfers. 

Our slimy contractors and fake VAT Bill byaparis must be forced to stand for a public trial and let us not let them walk away until they tell the whole world how much they had to cough off to get the big government contracts or to evade billions of Rupees in taxes.

Corruption is everywhere. In most of the countries except our SAARC region, corrupt folks are shamed, held accountable and serve lengthy jail terms and have their asset confiscated. In this land of ours, those convicted of corruption spend a few years in jail and pay fines amounting to not even ten percent of what they looted. 

It's hard to believe that our former ministers who have been convicted of corruption only made a few Karods illegally. And when they come out from prison, they are welcomed by their cadres as if they came back victorious from some battle.

Our incompetent government should open a new ministry so that we can all pay our bribes in one location. Yes, let's have a Ministry of Corruption where service seekers pay bribes and get a slip. They can show the payment slip at the concerned government agency and the hakim saheb and his crew can get their share of chiya kharcha transferred to their bank accounts at the end of the month.  

We all know that our current crop of leaders, civil servants and even good for nothing civic leaders will not do anything to control corruption. Most of them are from the same lot and they only care about themselves and not the public.

What about us? What should we do? Maybe, we should just boycott these corrupt individuals. Our media should stop taking their pictures and covering their hawa-tari speeches and other nataks. We are all tired of hearing about constitution for the past six years. Our clowns are only happy to engage in corruption.

I think our media should just report on corruption and blank out all political nataks until our clowns give us a new constitution. Who cares if our comrades are now split into a dozen parties? Who cares if our Emperor is having a cold or if Oli Dai's boli is as good as a goli. 

Let us not make our corrupt clowns heroes. They are not our saviors, they are blood sucking parasites. We have to yet develop a vaccine to get rid of these parasites. Maybe, we can ask NaMo.  He seems to have answers for everything.

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