Saturday, December 27, 2014

Prince of Darkness

While our Christian Nepalis celebrated Christmas and non-Christian Nepalis woke up with nasty hangovers after their night out on Chrismas Eve, Kamal Thapa and his crew began their 'Mechi-Mahakali Chariot' campaign to bring back the monarchy and turn this land of ours back into a Hindu State.

Kamal Thapa should have posted a Christmas greeting video on YouTube instead of wasting millions of Rupees with his 'Chariot' natak. It would have cost him nothing and he would have at least gained a few friends. 

Thapa is a fitness freak. He plays tennis regularly and is a veteran tennis champ and seems to have the energy to climb Everest without using oxygen or wearing any protective gear. 

If he had his way, then he would probably take his chariot up Everest as well. But I guess, he still can't get rid of this 'mandaley' brains. It took him quite far but it's not going to take him to Baluwatar.

I think he should be thankful that we, Nepalis easily forgive and forget as well. This is the same guy who was our Home Minister when Gyanu Uncle was our 'Lord Vishnu'. But things have changed but the only guy who seems to be suffering from amnesia seems to be our very own Kamal Dai. 

Gyanu Uncle is now a common citizen and he is busy visiting Chitwan and other places with his family. Good for him. We may have different opinions about Gyanu Uncle but history will be kind to him for giving up his throne without any struggle. Maybe, Kamal Dai dreams of becoming a Maharaja someday. 

We are a Republic now and a secular nation. If we went back to the 'old' Hindu kingdom then our public holidays will probably be cut down to half. And it will piss off both the common folks and our hardworking civil servants.  After all, our public servants need a day off whenever we celebrate Losars, Christmas and other religious festivals because they are so over-worked.

It's been more than two and half decades since the Pancheys left the building but it looks like we still have mandaleys running around. Well, we should not be surprised because the country is being run by the same so-called democratic folks who were looting the state treasury two decades ago. 

It seems like we are back in the 90s again. Our Kangaroos and United Mundrey Leaders are having all the fun now. 

Yes, we all gave our comrades a chance but our Emperor screwed it up. If our Maoist and Madhesi leaders had risen above petty politics and not enjoyed the state funds like it was a free buffet dinner, then we wouldn't be in this mess. 

If our Emperor and his crew along with his coalition partners had forged consensus with the 'old' corrupt clowns and delivered us a constitution, then maybe they could be enjoying a majority government now. But all loot must come to an end or our crooks gets their chance every other year.

Our Emperor thinks Oli Dai is acting like a Maharaja. Look who's talking? Our opposition wallahs now want to take to the streets as if that will helps us all. If our Emperor and his alliance partners want to win the hearts and the minds of the common folks then fight for citizenship under the mothers' name. 

Gherao all district administration offices across the country and tell the CDOs to grant citizenships under the mothers' name or else face "Bhautik Karwai".

New Year is round the corner. Well, it's once again , the 'Western-Christian' new year that we Nepalis will celebrate more vigorously than we celebrate our Nepali New Year, Vintuna, Losars or other ethnic New Years. 

Kamal Dai and his crew have two options. Either, they go militant and shut down all the gift shops selling Valentine Day cards and Santa Claus hats and ban the use of the Gregorian Calendar or either they go on a reformation movement to counter the rigidity of Hinduism. 

But of course, Kamal Dai doesn't want to be another Buddha. He just wants to ride on the bandwagon of 'Hindu Rastra' in hopes of becoming a Maharaja someday. 

Our right-wing Hindu nationalists should not worry that just because we are a secular nation doesn't mean we will lose our 'Hindu' identity.  We must respect and treat all religions equally.

Yes, we Hindus are the majority in this land and if we really want a 'New Nepal' then we must learn to respect and love our brothers and sisters of other faiths just as we would our own. And for our right-wingers, we still have more public holidays for Hindu festivals and it will probably be that way unless Facebook becomes the new religion.

Kamal Dai could be our new President if he vows to eradicate the caste system in this country. Yes, let us all learn to be good. Kamal Dai, be a good Hindu instead of trying to be another Hitler.  

Kamal Dai, fight against those fools who abuse and torture women who are accused of witchcraft. Fight against those rapists who think it is okay to rape women and children. Wage a war against injustice in our land instead of promoting communalism.

Kamal Dai, be a reformer not a right-wing wacko. Or just leave politics and open a tennis academy and one day, we could have our own Djokovic, Nadal and Federer. Well, Ganesh Dai failed to give us any Messi or Zidane while he pocketed Karods of Rupees. But maybe you could do a little better. 

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