Saturday, December 20, 2014

Under Pressure

We, the common citizens want a new constitution by January 22nd, 2015. What do our clowns want? Some want to be ministers and make some dough while some just are hoping that the constitution-writing process will drag on for a few years, so that they can enjoy the free lunch and perks. 

And there might be a few CA members who are praying for a major earthquake to hit us so that they won't have to answer to their constituencies on why they are slacking off. 

Our freeloaders seem to be least worried about meeting the deadline. Now, they tell us that they will at least get the first draft of the constitution ready in a month. So, what were these lazy bums doing for all these months? They meet at resorts, at each others' residences and God knows where but at the end of the day, they still stick to their own numbers. 

Some want 10 provinces, some want 7. Our Emperor wants a powerful President while the Kangaroos and the Unidentified Mundrey Leaders are happy with having a Prime Monster. And what do we want? I think we will be happy with anything. 

We really don't care if we have 124 provinces or four Presidents and six Prime Ministers at the same time. Our government has never been for the people. We all have had to fend for ourselves without any help from the incompetent government.  Our dreams and hopes are being hijacked by a less than a dozen crooks and we still seem to be okay with it.

We did not elect these buffoons so that they could keep on procrastinating and extending the deadline again and again. We have already wasted billions of Rupees to feed these greedy lowlifes. 

If our clowns can't deliver us a constitution by the end of next month, then we should all take to the streets and gherao all their residences and ask for a refund. Yes, why should they get paid to do nothing?

If they can't deliver us a constitution by next month then they have no right to take salaries and perks from then on. Well, we won't mind if our clowns take another decade to finish the constitution if they promise to work for free, without taking a single Rupee from the state treasury. 

But of course, our clowns are not volunteers and they are not in it to build a better Nepal. These crooks are in it only for the money. They only know how to loot. Even pickpockets in Ratnapark have better morals than our clowns.

We need to remind our clowns that our country does not owe them anything. The state treasury is not their personal piggy bank and they should be ashamed of themselves for looting the state treasury to fatten their bellies. 

But it's the other way round. Before our clowns get elected, they all seem malnourished and they own only a pair of slippers, two pants and  three shirts at the most. After a few years in power, they look well-fed, well-dressed and they seem to have enough dough to last another three generations.

The Americans are doing fine with four sheets of paper written more than two centuries ago. The only bad thing is that everybody gets to bear arms and there is always shooting somewhere in Amrika. The British don't even have a written constitution and they are okay with it. The Queen will probably live to be hundred and Prince Charles will leave everything and be a monk.

New Zealand and Israel don’t have codified written constitution either and they are doing better than some of the repressive regimes with so-called constitution. We could learn a thing or two from them. Yes, our remote mountain areas could be a good place to shoot many 'Middle Earth' movies and we could ask the Israelis to help us grow tomatoes in all our pot holes in the city.  

Instead of being under pressure to deliver us a constitution, our clowns are busy pressuring the CIAA not to take action against folks who were caught leaking question papers for the MBBS exams. 

The question papers were sold for a million Rupees. I guess our top leaders also received some commission because it seems that Oli Dai and Sheru Dai are asking the CIAA wallahs to release those arrested in the scam.

We would have had a constitution by now if we had come up with a national lottery system where anybody above the age of 25 could apply to be picked as a lucky 'CA' member. 

Maybe, we should try the 'lottery thing' after the CA-II fails. Maybe, 601 common citizens will work together to find common ground to resolve all the disputed issues and finish the constitution-writing process on time. 

After we are done with the constitution, then maybe, we should just ban all political parties, our most corrupt institution and have a people's parliament where lucky draw winners get to be MPs for a year. 

Our government won't have to hold elections every year or two and waste billions of Rupees and we won't have hundreds of useless political parties extorting everyone they see.

Our clowns will probably give themselves another three month extension and that too just to come up with a first draft of the constitution. Well, let us all get back to our lives, and call the local cooking gas dealer to give us a cylinder for now.

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