Saturday, August 16, 2014

Freeloaders & Freebies!

Our CA members are busy doing nothing but yet they continue to demand more perks and facilities because they think that this country owes them everything. Our freeloaders think they are entitled to all the freebies they can get because they are our lawmakers. And most of them get away with breaking the rules while our young folks get laathi-charged by our cops while standing in line.

Our incompetent buffoons now want laptops and internet access at their homes. Our clowns get paid more than Rs 70,000 per month in salary and other chiya kharcha but they seem to be short of cash and can't afford to buy laptops on their own. 

But, no they want everything for free because they are too busy to go to the nearest ATM and withdraw some cash or write a cheque. After all, only common folks pay from their own pockets whereas con artists masquerading as lawmakers get cash from the state to pay for their goodies. 

I guess our lazy bums want our taxpayers to foot all their bills. Maybe, they should also ask for 'Teej Kharcha' for their spouses from the state treasury as well. We have 'Lord Krisha's Birthday' on Sunday. Let's give our CA members a bucket full of curd so that they can celebrate Krishna Asthami. And during Indra Jatra, we should invite all of the buffoons for a 'bhoj' in the middle of Kathmandu Durbar Square. Let them drink, eat and be merry!

Our CA members want laptops and internet access at home at the expense of our taxpayers because they want to google 'constitution writing' and give us a constitution on time.  Maybe they should google 'How to beat procrastination?" instead. So why do our freeloaders need laptops and internet access at home? 

Well, maybe they want to be able to Skype their near and dear ones abroad like the rest of us. But we pay for our laptops and internet access from our own pockets whereas our CA members want to empty our pockets so that can finally learn how to use laptops and use the web to learn the difference between constipation and constitution.

Our lawmakers have decided to donate a day's salary to help the landslide victims. I think it would be better if our lazy bums decided to donate a month's salary to flood victims across the country. But of course, our lawmakers need all the cash they can get because they have to make sure that their kids and grandkids get to live a privileged life. And if they don't amass illegal wealth now, they might not get the opportunity to do so later because voters are easily swayed not by policies and visions but bundle of notes. 

Our ministers and Prime Minister are donating half of their month's salary to the flood and landslide victims. I think our ministers make millions from commissions from contractors. They should be donating millions of Rupees. 

Well, they can't donate from their own pockets because our CIAA wallahs will then want to know where they got the dough and their father-in-laws can't come to their rescue every time by telling us that most of the wealth of our ministers are dowries.

Why not have each ministry contributing a million Rupees to the flood victims fund instead? After all, our ministries spend more than Rs 100 million every year on tea, biskoot and mineral water during many chiya-paan karyakarams and useless meetings.

The government has announced Rs. 40,000 as relief to the family members of the deceased. It's a shame that hardworking, law-abiding citizens get peanuts whereas mundrey gundas who get killed in gang fights are declared martyrs and their families receive a million Rupees as compensation because they are cadres of political parties. 

And as usual, our cops have shown us that they are only good at laathi-charging innocent folks and shooting dead suspicious folks who turn out to be gangsters. And our police are either lucky or all gangsters are drug dealers because those arrested tend to be caught with a few grams of heroin as well. 

Seems like, most of our gangsters carry a pouch of illegal drugs so that they can sell it quickly on the go and buy a ticket to India. So, if you are a gangster then don't leave home without a bag of heroin because not many vendors take American Express.

We have had our one and only 'Forbes-listed' billionaire Binod Dai with his story. Then it was Hari Bansha dai who may not have billions of dollars but sure has made millions of us laugh, who came out with his story. And now, it's our former Army Chief-Saab Rocky Katawal who gets to tell his story. It would be nice if our comrade chairman had written the foreword for the General's book.

Our great Kollywood hero Shree Krisha Dai and Hollywood great Robin Williams are now in heaven. Both Shree Krishna and Williams have taught us how to live our lives fully.  The quote from "Dead Poets Society' sums up how both these greats lived their lives … " carpe diem, seize the day, make your lives extraordinary."

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