Sunday, August 31, 2014

Fasting for Good Health

Goddess Parbati fasted and wished for Lord Shiva as her hubby.  Her dreams came true. But we are humans and most of us are not that lucky. And we really don't have all the free time as our Gods and Goddesses. 

Looking at the present state of our country's affairs, even the Gods must be ignoring us and have left us with only demons to deal with, who seem to have no empathy for the needy. 

Married women fast on Teej so that their husbands can live till 80 whereas unmarried woman fast so that they can get their 'dream' husband.  If fasting could lead to bagging the man of your dreams then many Nepali women would have been married to either Bollywood or Hollywood celebrities by now. 

We should also learn to fall in love with our Nepali celebrities instead of only lusting after Bidhesis. Rajesh Hamal is already taken and there was probably be a little less fasting for him this year. 

Instead of fasting for beer-bellied husbands, our Teej-celebrating women should take them to the gym.  You can't just expect your hubbies to live longer even if he continues to smoke, drink and eat everything fried.  

Make him do at least 50 push-ups in two minutes every day. Don't expect him to have a six-pack abs in six months and don't make him wear outfits fit for twenty-year olds when he is already forty-two. 

You can still be healthy without the abs and the 'young' outfits may look great on them Bollywood heroes but in real-life, a thirty-year-old in tights is okay if you are a Nepali rock-star but if you are not then, one should be wear baggy pants and bigger t-shirts to hide one's belly. 

And for unmarried women, if you are one day hoping to have a great husband then don't accept Facebook friend requests from a friend of a friend. A friend is okay but his friends will be more creepier than you thought.

If you want to live longer then you will need to exercise, quit smoking and drink in moderation.  But if you are a politician in this land of ours then you do not need to follow the "longevity" formula because we, the taxpayers are here to fund your luxurious lifestyle and medical treatment abroad.

Our political parties host tea parties during Dashain and waste millions of Rupees extorted from fake VAT-bill byaparis, contractors and con artists. Why don't our buffoons organize 'Teej' parties instead?   

All of our useless political parties have women organizations and why are our women leaders not interested to host a dance party for our ladies once a year?

Once for a change, it would be nice to see our corrupt politicians fasting and serving seven-course meals to women invitees.  Let the women dance and our freeloaders can do the dishes and clean up the venue after the event.

Our political parties could have hosted 'Teej' events and send their women cadres to the flood and landslide-affected districts to help the victims and their families. But our politicians are only interested to get more dough from the state treasury so that they can pay their own bills. 

In times of such natural disasters, our government and civil servants are busy forming committees to study how to help the needy next year instead of carrying our relief works now.

Every year, millions of Rupees are spent on making new music videos and releasing 'too hot to handle' Teej songs. The only folks who seem to be making the dough are music studios, music video directors, party palaces, the saaris and kurtawalahs and our beauty parlor didis. 

Many women don't even drink a drop of water during fasting.  Now, that's very wrong. Not taking anything solids for a day is okay. After all, your body needs some rest once in a while but no liquids will only make you dehydrated and after all that dancing is over, your head will spin and your knees will buckle and you will need bed rest for a few days. 

Then, your husband will probably will lose ten pounds because no one is there for him to cook a great meal and the only thing he knows is how to make Wai Wai, that too dry only with chuira, masala, onions and tomatoes . 

So, if you want their husbands to live longer then teach him how to cook. And one day, he can be a great chef and could come in handy if both of you decide to go abroad. Open a Nepali restaurant, the hubby can cook and the Mrs can organize a Teej festival.

Let’s hope that next Teej, our women will not buy new saris or kurtas and won’t spend a month of their savings in threading and making up their hair and what not. Let's save the money for a vacation in the winter. Yes, we need to promote domestic tourism instead of eating Pad Thai only.

What this country needs now is not women dancing and fasting for their husbands and future husbands' longevity but women who can lead and kick our bunch of useless men out from politics so that we can have mothers, sisters and wives leading us to prosperity instead of ruin.

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