Saturday, May 24, 2014

Hello NaMo!

Our Prime Monster Sushil Koirala (SuKo) is flying to Delhi on Monday to attend the swearing-in  ceremony of Indian Prime Monster-elect Narendra Modi (NaMo). This is the first time that India has invited heads of states of the SAARC region to attend the swearing-in ceremony of a PM.
I hope someday, we will have a Prime Monster who will invite 10,000 foreign guests to his or her swearing-in ceremony.  And then organize a charity dinner where the guests will have to fork out a million dollars to eat dal bhat and take pictures with our PM. 

That would at least help us to get rid of our foreign debt and we will finally have enough dough to build a 10,000 MW power plant.

But the only folks with that kind of money are the Sheikhs from the Middle East, founders of tech companies, Hollywood celebrities and superstar athletes.  Let's hope the day will come when Rajesh Hamal joins politics and his party wins the majority to form the government.  

Hamal is a good fit to be our PM. He is tall enough to not look like a pygmy when taking pictures with heads of states from the West.  Hamal speaks fluent English and unlike our incompetent netas, he probably won't be speaking broken Hindi when he visits India. 

Hamal will probably use his acting skills to convince world leaders to build highways, hospitals and hydropower projects without any strings attached.  So let's be patient and wait for Hamal but for now, we will have to make do with incompetent buffoons dozing off in Baluwatar.

India thinks itself as a big brother and wants to have a say in how things are run in the neighborhood. I think it's time we had a SAARC version of the reality show 'Big Brother' where all the heads of states from the region are forced to live in a house for at least a week and the winner gets to run the show in the neighborhood for at least a year.  

The Desi Crown Prince Rahul Gandhi will now have to wait for maybe a decade before he can dream of sitting on the throne.  Maybe, by the time his beard grows grey, he will have enough time to improve on his oratory skills or BJP will be caught up in some mess so that the voters can bring his party back to power. 

Let 's hope that our SuKo will not be content with just drinking chai and samosa in Delhi. Instead of engaging in small chit-chat with NaMo, he should ask for big favors from India. It really doesn't matter whether Congress of BJP comes to power in India. 

The Desi foreign policy will not change much and unless our incompetent netas learn to flatter our chimekis, we will be getting only ambulances instead of bigger freebies.

SuKo has only three mobile sets to his name and we don't know how much NaMo has.  Suko is a bachelor and we don't expect him to find his other half in this life. NaMo is married but does not seem to be in touch with his Mrs, so he claims to be a born-again bachelor.  Maybe, he should update his relationship status on Facebook as 'complicated'.

SuKo's track record is pretty much zero and he has not been doing much since he moved to Baluwatar either. NaMo's track record was zero before he became the Chief Minister of Gujarat but he has done quite a lot on the economic front but has failed to protect the minorities. 

Let's hope thar NaMo will be the PM for all Indians instead of just trying to make the religious hardliners happy. If NaMo can do that then Rahul Gandhi will have to find a real job. NaMo hopes that his 'Gujarati Model' will do wonders for India. 

Our netas are still clinging to their own 'Hawatari' model of development. Our Chimekis are sprinting while we seem to be walking backwards.

Both SuKo and NaMo have at least one thing in common. Both have grey beards and it's time our SuKo used that to our advantage. Yes, let's have a 'Beard Diplomacy'. We can invite all influential Desis who sport beards to visit Nepal and provide them a week-long, free trekking holiday package. 

Maybe, the Desis will invite our bearded ones to India and they can visit Taj Mahal and Tirupati. How will that help us? Well, let's hope the bearded ones will get to bond and be brothers so that they can share ideas and dough to benefit both our countries! 

SuKo should remind NaMo that he was the one with the grey beard first as he is older by more than a decade and he should be treated as a big brother instead. Maybe, that will appeal to Namo's emotions, hopefully resulting in less interference in our domestic affairs by the Desis.  

SuKo should invite NaMo to Nepal and the first thing to do when he gets here is to visit Namo Buddha! 

Our netas should learn a thing or two from our chimekis. Bring in foreign investment, create jobs and reduce poverty instead of just making useless speeches and fighting with each other over who gets to eat more candy!

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious. That guy's a right wing lunatic for sure, but I don't think he's going to cause too much of an issue because the party wants to stay in power for a while (which won't happen if they start with their right wing antics)--in any case, he's going to be good for the economy.