Saturday, February 22, 2014


Our incompetent government celebrated Prajatantra Diwas with the usual nataks. Instead of giving our civil servants a day off, it would have been nice if our lazy bums went to work and provided the much needed services to the public without seeking a bribe at least for a day.  

Our government should stop holding public rallies and creating traffic jams as well. And we are tired of grinding our teeth every time we see gas-guzzling SUVs all lined up for a government function. 

Dr. Saheb decided to forgo the celebration when he was our man in Baluwatar because he wasn't born when the Ranas left the building.  Khilly Dai decided to keep the celebration small because he was busy trying to figure out what to do when his time in Baluwatar was over. 

But Sushil Da was around when the Shree Tins were having all the fun. He was just a young kid but maybe he got to see some Ranas enjoy the high life. Well, it's been 64 years and we no longer have Shree Tins enjoying all the perks.  

We had our Shree Paanchs and they too have left the building and we are left with our Shree Aaths who seem to be inspired by the Ranas and the House of Shah when it comes to enjoying the loot. But it's probably a good thing that instead of a single clan enjoying all the freebies, we have mini Maharajas who get to get fat and rich.  

And one day, you too can dream of becoming a mini Maharaja only if you have the skills to lie, cheat and steal.  Honesty, humility and hard work are for common people. Chori, Chakari and Chiya Kharcha are for our con men and some women who are in power.

The common folks have no choice but to go abroad to make a few Dinars or Dollars more while our buffoons make millions here in the land of ours by misusing their power. After all, for the past 64 years, we have seen all the players flexing their muscles to make enough money to last seven generations.

We celebrate Loktantra Diwas to celebrate the day then King Gyanendra had to bend backwards. Well, Gyanu Uncle could not bend it like Beckham to score a goal or two. He became our last monarch because he was still hung in the 60s. 

If he had hired a few PR people from New York then they would have advised him to not take a penny from the state coffer and instead dole out the dividends he gets from his business holdings for charitable works. But I guess, he just surrounded himself with a bunch of arse-kissers who still masquerade as netas even today.  

When it comes to learning on how to become a  monarch in this century, one need to not go far away to England. A few hours flight to Thailand would have done a whole lot of good for Gyanu Uncle then.  But of course, it's all over and we all have to move on.  

Gyanu Uncle has many options left except for wanting to go back to becoming our Lord Vishnu. He can write his biography and go on a book tour. He can open a political party and at least grab a few more seats and be one of our mini Maharajas. 

Or the best option for now to gain respect from the public would be to donate a billion Rupees to clean the Bagmati River and even spend a day or two, wearing gumboots and gloves to clear up the garbage.  

But of course, we still don't have such public relations firms in the country who can come up with campaigns to fool the public like in the US where politicians kiss babies and shake hands a thousand times when they are out there to win some votes. 

Meanwhile, our Emperor is having fun in Qatar. After all, there isn't much to do for him this time around.  Maybe, he should visit North Korea, Cuba, and Iran as well and bring back home fake Dollars, a bunch of doctors and a portable nuclear device. 

A bora full of fake Dollars can win some votes next time. If we have Cuban doctors here then maybe our comrades won't have to waste millions to seek medical treatment abroad. And If we can't get any mini-nuke from the Iranians then our Emperor can at least bring a container full of dates for Dashain. 

We also have Ganatantra Diwas to celebrate the day we became a Republic. But so far, our corrupt clowns have been ripping off the public instead of doing their job. I think we should stop celebrating Democracy Day until our political parties follow the principles of Democracy themselves.  

Our hawatari parties claim to be democratic but we still have old fogies running the show for the past two-three decades. The political parties are run like dictatorships and the young and bold ones get side-stepped while the old and corrupt continue to take us down the drain. 

Nothing wrong with senior citizens running the show but our political parties seem to be run by ones who give the older generation a bad name.

Our corrupt clowns and civil servants continue to follow the Shree Tin's formula of governance. Yes, Hukumi Sashan is still alive and kicking. The players have changed but the system remains the same. 

So what would it take to change the system and get rid of our corrupt clowns? Maybe, we should all  rise up again and make our buffoons leave the building. Then, we can finally celebrate 'Democracy Day' to celebrate the day we got rid of all the pests that plague this beautiful land of ours.

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