Saturday, January 25, 2014

Here comes the freeloaders again!

The Constituent Assembly Part II has begun with 565 freeloaders taking oath of office and secrecy.  We all know very well that our CA members will neither take the their office seriously nor be able to keep state secrets to themselves. No wonder, all them bideshi ambassadors pay house visit to learn all the dirty schemes of our incompetent fools.

5 CA members missed the show and will probably take their oath some other time. Maybe, they should get their pay deducted for not showing up. And we should have a 'no work, no pay' policy for our freeloaders. If they can't deliver the constitution within a year, then we should get a refund and maybe add an extra fine as well.

Let's hope that our lawmakers will fulfill their duties this time around and give us a constitution within a year. Or maybe we should all go on a hunger strike if that doesn't happen. Dr KC has broken his 14-day hunger strike. It's a good thing that at least one man has the courage to stand up and demand action against incompetent fools. 

Our CA members should promise us that they will not go on foreign junkets sponsored by our bideshi donors.  And let us all pray that our lawmakers won't shame us again by selling their diplomatic passports for a few more Rupees.

Our lawmakers should first ban themselves from going overseas to meet their foreign handlers.  I think it would be a nice gesture if they ask the Foreign Ministry to black-list themselves and do not get any passport for a year.  

Well, they can travel to India without one but we can prevent them from sneaking across the border if we can have a no-travel list at border check points with the pictures of all CA members. If the government can't get our police wallahs to help out then we can ask volunteers from Maiti Nepal. They are good at spotting human traffickers and they will probably do great at spotting corrupt incompetent buffoons as well.

The Eldest CA member Surya Bahadur Thapa administered the oath to 565 lawmakers.  Surya Ba has probably seen it all.  I think he should write a book about his political experiences. The title of the book could be 'Monarchy to Maobadi and Me!'.  He should also share his health tips with the rest of us because he still looks like he has the stamina to beat Fidel Castro's record speech at the UN Assembly.

I hope Baidya Ba and his protestors will be nominated for some CA seats so that they can enjoy the perks instead of standing outside the CA building and protesting. It's much more fun to sit inside and drink tea and manhandle other CA members instead of getting laathi-charged by our police wallahs.

We have Surya Ba and his son Sunil Dai representing the RPP whereas Sheroo dai, the Maharaja from Dadeldhura will also have his wife Arzu Maharani in the CA. It's a shame that many lawmakers were wearing Daura Suruwal for the ceremony.  Please don't give the national dress a bad name. I think most of our lawmakers should have worn jackets with Rupees stitched to it as it would show their true colors.  After all, our netas are for sale and the bideshi have the dough to buy them while they don't have time to address our concerns.

Once again, our lawmakers will fight with each other over how many provinces we will have. Why not just stick to the ones we have and get on  with our lives instead of wasting billions of Rupees?  It will probably cost us millions of Rupees to change them signboards in our government offices if we come up with new provinces but  the guy who wins the contract to change the signs will have to pay everyone along the way and the cost will balloon up to a few billion Rupees.

There will be talks about a new capital. Our Emperor wants to shift it to Chitwan. Baidya Ba would probably want Rolpa to be our new capital and others would want their home districts to win the race as well.  

Maybe, Palpa should be our new capital. According to the District Education Office (DEO), Palpa, the district has achieved 98% literacy and even beats Kathmandu.  So, it's time the other districts get inspired from Palpa and start eating Chukauni. I think it helps in some ways to increase the literacy rate or maybe, there is something in the Palpali genes.  

Yes, let's get some researchers from Harvard University or even our TU wallahs and do some research on how spicy potato yogurt salad helps in improving literacy.  A person from Palpa is either a civil servant, a byapari or a professor. Khilly Dai is also from Palpa. Before he leaves Baluwatar, he should do something to promote Chukauni overseas. And one day, the export of Chukauni could balance our budget and even pay off our foreign debts.

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