Saturday, January 11, 2014

The Three Stooges

Sushil Da wants to be our next Prime Monster but so does Rambo Paudel  and the Maharaja from Dadeldhura, our own Sher Bahadur Deuba. The Kangaroos had decided before the CA election that Sushil Da was their man but our clowns are good at changing their minds every other day. 

So, now we have three stooges who want to do their share of taking us back to the stone ages.

Sushil Da is probably the last of the Mohicans who joined the party in the 50s. He will be celebrating his 60th anniversary as a Kangaroo this year.  If seniority rules are followed then he should be given the chance to sleep in Baluwatar. 

Rambo Paudel would make the 'original' Amriki Rambo dive into a quicksand with his natak. Paudel lost 17 times and could not become our Prime Monster during the previous Constituent Assembly. You can lose once, twice or even thrice but 17 times is just too much. 

Even motivational speakers across the country would have advised Paudel to quit instead of taking the 'do not quit until you succeed' mantra too far. The Amriki Rambo would also have left Vietnam, Afghanistan, Myanmar or wherever he is heading next to rescue Amriki POWs if he failed more than a dozen times.  

The Maharaja of Dadeldhura has been our Prime Monster thrice. Now, he wants to try his luck for the fourth time and maybe he will experiment with GMO seeds in Baluwatar if he gets the top kurchi again. Yes, we all know that nobody can beat Deuba in his district. 

He will continue to win every other election till he decides to quit politics and become a Sadhu.  But he needs to be humble and not act like we all owe him something just because he is unbeatable from his constituency.  

We have already had enough of Deuba. We don't want him to be our Prime Monster. Sushil Da is old and frail and needs some rest instead of facing other litmus tests. Give the man a 'gold watch' and a grand retirement party and a free ticket to Varanasi. Rambo Paudel  is part of the old slimy crew and should let the new or young ones take the lead.

If our Kangaroos really want to lead the government then our three stooges should step aside and let other honest ones to be the Prime Minister.  How about Narahari Acharya?  He seems to be the only honest guy among the gang of thieves.  After all, Acharya was the one of the few who wanted a Republic when most of our Kangaroos were still open to the idea of a 'Baby King'.  And he is probably the least tainted of them all. 

And we can even have Gagan Thapa as our deputy Prime Minister. But of course, in the real world, if you are 60 then you are nearing retirement but in our 'Nepali' political world, you are still a 'youth' leader.  Well, then Gagan Thapa is only in his teens if we follow the 'political' age formula. But Thapa should get a chance to head a ministry and show us his skills so that we can figure out if he has the capacity to lead us as our Prime Minister in the future.

Our United Mules also want to live in Baluwatar. But we have already seen Jhallu Baba and Makune and they failed miserably.  Our Madeshi parties are now thinking of uniting after their dismal performance in the CA election. 

Maybe our comrades should also do some soul-searching and unite for the sake of saving our Emperor's arse.  Yes, let's have a party at Peris Danda and offer free drinks and snacks to Baidya Ba and his crew and that could at least balance out our Dr. Saheb and the Kazi. 

Our IGP Saheb had earlier promised us to make the police administration more effective but maybe it was just another hawatari speech by a hakim saheb. I guess they haven't really started their training on how to behave with the public. 

The police wallahs are non-discriminatory when it comes to charging laathis and breaking the bones of protesters.  Earlier, it was the former Kamalaris who were thrashed by our cops. Our police wallahs continue to act like savages.

This time, it's our disabled folks who were victims of police brutality. So when it will all stop? Maybe never but it would be better to dress like a 'RoboCop' if we want to gherao sarkari offices in the future. 

Let's hope one day, our police wallahs will also join us during our protest rallies instead of  beating up hardworking folks who protest against injustice.

And what's up with our government's plan to provide housing to VVIPs. How about providing housing for our low-level police wallahs and soldiers of Nepal Army instead? Thousands of security personnel continue to live in bunkers across the country and yet our government wants to make sure that our incompetent VVIPs get more perks. 

How about providing affordable housing to needy folks in this land of ours? Aren't we all tired of dealing with shortages of everything while the clowns continue to enjoy the good life?  

It's time to take back this country from the freeloaders. No more free lunch for our clowns. We should do a 'coin' rally. Collect your coins, visit the residences of our clowns and then hurl them coins across their gates so that they can pay for their houses and vehicles.

1 comment: