Saturday, November 16, 2013

Gifts with Strings Attached

The Desis have given our government 716 vehicles worth Rs 850 million for the upcoming Constituent Assembly election. As usual, our netas and civil servants are only good at begging for gift hampers from our chimekis. Our incompetent buffoons make us all look bad. 

We are not a nation of beggars. Most of us are hardworking, law-abiding citizens who make an honest living. And then we have our lazy bums who are running the show, who break all the laws of the land and get rich from illegal means.  

No wonder, the Desi and the Chinese ambassadors tell our clowns what to do. After all, beggars can’t be choosers and if you are always begging for funds for this and that then you must do the benefactors' bidding.

Maybe our government could have done us all a favor by asking the Chinese for 601 new vehicles for all of our soon to be CA members.  We have to make sure that we get more or less similar gift hampers from our chimekis so that one of them doesn't sulk and refuse to give us more freebies in the future.

Since most of our freeloaders are only in it for free lunch and chiya kharcha, why not give them a vehicle each?  And if they can finish writing the constitution within a year, they can keep the vehicles for themselves.  

And once they are done being CA members, they can rent out the vehicles to travel agencies to take Chinese tourists around the valley. After all, our chimekis are patriotic lots and would be proud to ride in vehicles manufactured in their own countries.  

The Chinese gave the Kathmandu Municipality hundreds of vehicles and they still haven't used most of them. The Indians built the trauma center but our government has yet to operate it.  Maybe, our roads in the valley would have all been black-topped by now if we had given the contracts to the Chinese. 

But no, we want our Nepali contractors to make some dough. That's a good thing but the work is shoddy and our clowns and civil servants get their share of kickbacks.  

It's very surprising that our government is spending Rs 16 billion for the election but doesn't have enough funds for the vehicles. Since our government offices will be closed for four days, our police wallahs could have used the vehicles of other government agencies instead.  Or we could have asked all the hakim sahebs and netas to return their government vehicles and used them for election purposes. 

But no, we need new 'free' vehicles so that we can use it later to take the wives of hakim sahebs for shopping or to their family gatherings. And we need more vehicles so that our security personnel can provide security for the Very Irritating Persons (VIPs).  

Instead of wasting our taxpayers money on providing security to our incompetent buffoons, why not just hand them full body armor if they are too worried about their safety?  The state must stop providing security and other chiya kharcha to our VIPs. Most of our netas have enough mundrey gundas to provide security for them anyway. 

In a year or two, don't be surprised if the 'free' vehicles look like it's been on the road for a decade.  Most of our government agencies are good at never maintaining their vehicles. I guess somebody forgot to tell our sarkari hakim sahebs that they must set aside funds for maintenance of vehicles and office buildings.  

They must have maintenance funds but most of it is embezzled by the employees themselves.   If you go to a government office then you might not recognize the hakim saheb but the driver will stand out because he will be acting like he owns the place. Of course not all our civil servants are lazy bums. 

It's the same everywhere, 20% competent workers do all the work while the rest do nothing but come up with fake bills to drain the state coffer.

After all, our civil servants are too busy reading newspapers, drinking tea and sun bathing that they are not bothered with run down vehicles in their office backyard. You can find many rusting vehicles with weeds growing out. Somebody should just turn these into a vegetable garden and grow 'Dalley' khursani or tomatoes. Then our civil servants can enjoy some achar with their khaja during tea-break.

It's always good to receive gifts from your neighbors but when the time comes, they will probably ask for favors worth much more than what we get from them.  

Let's hope someday, our government has enough funds to dole out free gift hampers to our chimekis. That day might come soon because we will be a developed country flushed with cash if we are to believe the master plans of our nautanki political parties. 

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