SLC Blues...

The SLC results are out and the blame game has begun. Only 41.5% of our SLC candidates managed to pass them exams this year. Our incompetent government has spent Rs 555 billion on them so-called school reform programs since 2003. 

Hope somebody figures out where all the money went? Maybe our hakim sahebs spent all that dough on buying millions of cartons of ‘555’ cigarettes.

Our government spends Rs 32 billion every year on public school teachers. While there may be a few good ones, most of them teachers are busy playing cards and drinking local wine instead of teaching our kids. 

And every year, many public school students don’t even get the required textbooks because the hakim sahebs need to make some money to send their kids to private schools.

Only 30% of public school students passed the SLC exams this year. Our government spends Rs 2.6 million on each public school student every year. I think it’s time we had a Ministry of Transparency and their only job would be to keep all the hisab kitab online for all of us to view. 

We should make it mandatory for all government employees to send their kids to public schools and then our public schools will do better than the private wallahs. 

Not everyone will turn out to be a Baburam. Maybe we should ask the Oxford English Dictionary wallahs to add ‘Baburam’ to its lexicon. A ‘Baburam’ would be someone who is a smart pants and thinks he knows everything but in reality is just another clown who spends billions of Rupees trying to win over other buffoons and party cadres. 

We would be better off, if we let a bunch of farmers run the country instead of incompetent bureaucrats. At least the farmers have worked hard all their lives and will do something to help other farmers in the country. And we could finally get to buy our own apples then spending millions on bideshi ones. 

Khilly Dai and his crew have finally consulted the ‘right’ astrologer. So if you are old enough to vote then you should mark your calendar for November 19.  Lovers should not plan to elope on that day. It’s time to choose the least corrupted person to head your constituency so that he or she can help our clowns finally write the constitution. 

But our clowns have still not agreed on how many freeloaders we need for our Constituent Assembly II. Baidya Uncle doesn’t want to join the bandwagon and his crew will probably show us their ‘hooligan’ skills. 

Our Emperor really wants a two-third majority but he will need lots of cash and his crew will have to display their ‘ninja’ skills when it comes to capturing the booths or making the ballots disappear.

And the man from Dadeldhura had a jolly good time in Delhi. He and his Mrs got to hang out with Sonia auntie, Mickey Mouse Singh  and other Desi clowns. The man who introduced the ‘Pajero Culture’ in this great land of ours will probably help each of our clowns get a helicopter if he gets to be the Prime Monster for the fourth time. 

Deuba tried his best to kiss some Desi arse by telling their media folks that his wife watches Hindi films. Big deal! Maybe the Desis should invite her to their next Filmfare Awards and she can even give a speech on how the Debuas love India and if they get to be the power couple again then millions more will have to leave the country for better employment opportunities.

The Dadeldhura man couldn’t even afford a cup of tea in the late 80s but now acts like a feudal lord. Maybe if he had brought some economic reform programs when he was our PM then millions of Nepalis won’t have to go to India to make a living. 

Instead of telling the Desis how our kids go to schools in their land and how our parents go for religious pilgrimage there… why not open up thousands of medical schools in Nepal and attract like 10 million Desi students who can’t seem to get admission due to demand of hefty donations in their land?

We should all join hands and campaign for ‘Anybody but Deuba’.  Gagan Thapa … Okay but Deuba should go back to Dadeldhura. He’s already made more than he can gorge on. Just go back to your village, build a Mahal and declare yourself a Maharaja! After all, he is already married to a Maharani. She could do us all a big favor is she moved her school to Dadeldhura and helped the kids there. But please don’t charge them outrageous fees like you do to our parents in the capital.