Saturday, June 22, 2013

Be Prepared....

First of all, let us all pray for the victims and their families affected by the floods here in our land and in India as well.  Hundreds of Nepali pilgrims are stranded in India and hope they will come home safely.  We should send a team from the Nepal Army to help bring our folks home.  

I don’t think the Desis would mind a small contingent from the Nepal Army helping their security forces with rescue works. It would be a nice goodwill gesture from our side as well. After all, our army chief is a honorary general of the Desi army and vice versa and both armies recently climbed Everest on a joint expedition. There is certainly too much brotherly love between them two.

Our incompetent government has announced relief packages for the families affected by the floods and landslides in Darchula district. The families will get Rs 35,000 each as immediate relief for now. Let’s hope our sarkari Draculas will not skim off the funds meant for the people of Darchula. 

Instead of announcing cash packages and other nautanki nataks, please deploy the army and provide food, drinking water, medicine and temporary housing to the affected families.

The government has also pledged Rs 500 million for Darchula in the upcoming budget.  The money will probably go to local politicians and contractors whereas those who need it the most will probably get nothing.  Thousands of folks have been displaced in Bardiya district. But I guess it will take another high-level meeting to decide how to help the folks there.

Every year, hundreds lose their lives and thousands are displaced by the monsoon floods but our government and local authorities never prepare for such disasters.  

Nepal Scouts should stop asking our incompetent fools to dress up as scouts. Khilly dai must have forgotten the scout oath he took a few months ago. All of our civil servants and security personnel should join Nepal Scouts and get some training. Maybe then they will take the Scout Motto to heart and ‘Be Prepared’. 

While our folks are suffering from the early monsoon, Lord Rama is in Japan having sushi and getting examined by Japani doctors. His advisors could have done us a favor if they had asked the President to go on Japani TV and send his prayers and love to the families affected by the floods here in Nepal.

It’s a pity that we don’t have experts who deal with black spots in large intestine.  And even the most qualified bunch of quacks decided to recommend the examination of the presidential intestine in Japan or the United States of America.  Maybe the doctors had relatives there and wanted to send a carton of Wai Wai to their loved ones with the President’s entourage.

While common citizens get expired medicines, our clowns get millions of Rupees for treatment overseas. Our beloved President is getting Rs 6 million for his medical checkup. His entourage will also get chiya kharcha as well.  

We could have saved a million or two if he had gone to India instead.  The Desis give us ambulances and school buses all the time. They would have sent an air ambulance for our President for free.  And he would also be not far from home and could watch the Indian monsoon floods live on Desi TV to get a better idea of what is happening in the neighborhood.

Our top veteran tennis player, Kamal Thapa is back again with his ‘I heart Monarchy’ campaign. Somebody needs to remind him that we already have a bunch of mini-Maharajas now. 

And no we are not going back to just one guy spending Rs 60 million a year, we want 601 buffoons spending Rs 601 million. We don’t want a bunch of King’s men making billions, we want thousands of cadres making millions. Yes, let’s spread the love.

After all, if we allow the King to come back to be our chief guest during the jatras in the valley then you and I will never get the opportunity to loot the state coffer again. We need our politicians in the game so that some of us can dream of having rosy cheeks, expanding waistline and billions in foreign banks someday. 

And the way our Nepali Rupee is nose-diving against the US Dollar, don’t be surprised if it hits Rs 100 per dollar soon. If you have a relative in Amrika then do ask them to send you some dinero. 

And this is the best time to export some handicraft or mula ko achar to foreign lands. But we don’t tend to export much stuff but import nearly everything these days.  Maybe we should peg our currency with the Zimbabwean Dollar instead of the Indian currency. Then, we can all be billionaires and enjoy the good life!

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