Hollow Promises

Our Emperor is back from Delhi and he is running around the country boasting about how he has managed to make up with the Desis. The Emperor should have stuck to either speaking Nepali or English but like every other clowns, he had to speak in Hindi to the Desi media wallahs. 

Our clowns bitch about India and blame them for all our problems when they are here at home. But when they go to Disneyland, then they are busy kissing the Desis’ arses and acting like bunch of kids who want free lollipops from the candy store owner.

But the Desis were preoccupied with other stuff and didn’t have much time for our Napoleon. The Chinese are now into pitching tents inside India. Maybe the PLA troops just want to have a BBQ party in India. The Desi media didn’t give much coverage to our Emperor’s visit. 

He was shown smiling at some five-star hotel banquet hall where he was invited to talk about the same old stuff.  The Desi media were busy covering the Chinese tent wallahs, the 1984 anti-Sikh riots verdict and the death of an alleged Indian spy in Pakistan. Mickey Mouse was busy trying to get some fresh air as his government now has to deal with the ‘Coalgate’ natak.
 

Our Emperor has promised us that our per capita income will be US$ 3,000 if he is given the opportunity to rule us for another decade. Well, that could be the political slogan for our comrades during the upcoming CA election. But aren’t our clowns supposed to write the constitution and wrap up the integration of the Maoist combatants first?
 

Our buffoons can dream about making this country another Switzerland or Singapore after that when we have the parliamentary elections.  Maybe somebody needs to stand up and promise us that Nepal will be another Swaziland minus the monarchy of course. The Swazi’s per capita is more than US$ 3,000 now.
 

If our clowns really want to develop Nepal then they should stop shutting down the country. Our trade unions should work for pay instead of asking for more perks and benefits for doing nothing.  Just give us batti, paani and stop the byaparis from selling us adulterated stuff. And please do work on controlling the food prices.
 

Our clowns are still not decided on whether we want a Amriki Presidential natak or the British parliamentary system. I think we should go for the Amriki natak. At least, a clown will get four years to show us his or her dance moves. 

And instead of getting all kinds of crooks in the cabinet, the President can select his or her cabinet members other than the crooked MPs. And if we can have a two-term presidency then we won’t have to worry about our buffoons hanging on to power until they drop dead.
 

Our Emperor is dreaming of a railway line from Lhasa to Lumbini. Maybe we should just ask the Desis to cover half the distance and the Chinese can do the rest.  He also wants an international airport in Biratnagar.  Well, we are still waiting for international airports in Bhairahawa and Pokhara. I think it’s time we request our clowns to stop making hollow promises.
 

If our Emperor is really interested to develop Nepal then he should go on a world-tour. It could be like the ‘around the world in 80 days’ kind of natak.  We still have six months more to go before the upcoming CA elections. We are not sure even if our interim government will conduct the polls then but our Emperor can visit as many countries he wants in the next six months.
 

Why only allow the Chinese and the Desis to take on development projects in the country? Maybe, we can get 75 countries to sponsor a district each. The Singaporeans can sponsor Sarlahi. The Americans can sponsor Achham. 

The Germans can organize beer festivals in Gulmi. The French can start growing truffles somewhere. If we can Brazil to sponsor Banke then who knows, we might be able to attract a million tourists when we have some kind of a carnival in the district. Luxembourg can sponsor Lamjung and maybe it will be the tax-haven for the rich ones in Asia.
 

If we can’t find any sponsors for some districts then we can just ask the Desi and the Chinese to open their own cultural centers or language institutes. Our clowns should burn their old ‘political’ notebooks. Be it the Red Book or the Green Book or the book on ‘cheating, stealing and squealing’… just burn them all.

At the end of the day, we just want to be free…. free to practice our faith, free to travel to another part of the country without some political cadres shutting down the highway, free from having to pay the ‘chiya kharcha’ fee to our civil servants to receive services from the state.