Saturday, May 18, 2013

More Cops, More problems

The Khilly government has decided to recruit 6,010 new cops. It would be nice to find out how our civil servants crunch numbers. Who gets to decide how many cops we really need? Did they ask an astrologer to come up with the magic number?

Maybe, they just figured that we would probably have 601 clowns once again for Constituent Assembly II and they might need more security this time.  After all, our clowns don’t want to get slapped every other week.  At least ten cops will be enough to form a quite a big circle to protect our lazy bums.
Our 601 new buffoons can get 10 cops each for their security. Some of them can walk around with the freeloader. Some can do the dishes and wash clothes. Some can wake up at 4 in the morning to check if there is any water from the Khanepani folks. And somebody will have to stay in line for fuel and cooking gas whenever there is a shortage. Not all of them will get freebies from Nepal Oil Corporation. 
Our clowns have turned them police wallahs into personal slaves. Instead of protecting the public, they are busy protecting the buffoons. So, why not just pay the cops from their own party funds instead of wasting our taxpayers money? Hope someday our civil servants will be ashamed of themselves when they realize that their salaries and ghoos money all come from the public’s pockets.
The Home Ministry wants new cops for our highways. Why do we need a bunch of loafers who will act as mute spectators when a bunch of hooligans shut down the highways?  Maybe they should also be trained as mechanics so that they can fix flat tyres or do an oil change if necessary. At least that would be an honest earning instead of extorting them truck drivers.
The valley will get some new cops as well. Instead of bothering us with their so-called security checks at 8 in the evening, why not deploy a team to each ward in the valley and ask them to walk around our toles from 11 to 5 in the morning? 
That would save us time by not having to dial ‘100’ and then wait for a day for the cops to show up. At least if we have someone patrolling our neighborhood, we can just open the window and shout for help. 

If they want volunteers then we can form a neighborhood watch program and have tole basis devote at least a few hours per week. What will we do? We will just keep an eye on our neighborhood police to prevent them from drinking on duty and then snatching some drunk guy’s wallet or gold chain.
If we have local volunteers with them then they won’t be trying to ask funny questions or harass both men and women who are coming home late from a party or work or even a book club meeting.

It’s about time our cops understand that things are different in urban areas.  While the village lads and lasses have them all-night dohori sessions, the city slickers also need a place to hang out.
Our cops think that a woman who hangs out after 10 in the evening is of bad character. And all men who are out on the street are criminals.  It’s as if our cops themselves are holy saints who are out in the night saving our souls. 
Well, not all of us may be good people but it’s your job to investigate and let the honest, hard working folks go home and you can take the criminal elements to mamaghar. Let’s hope our new cops will at least get adequate training on how to behave like civilized human beings.
We will probably get more incompetent cops since only those with source-force will get them jobs. You either need some dough or you will get the job depending on whom you know. For the rest of the folks who think they will get hired based on their merit should not waste their time staying in line for hours to submit the forms. 
The ‘Nepali’ dream is not based on your talent and hard work. It is based on your acting and moneymaking skills. Either you have to have the brains to fool the other person or show him or her the money so that your job gets done.
Phones will start ringing. Money will change hands. So if you have a few lakhs to spare then you could at least be a constable. If your uncle happens to be a drinking  buddy of one of the new Maharjas then you can apply for Inspector but don’t forget the cash.  Cash is always king!


  1. Let me start with the very picture you have attached in this blog, following whose thumbnail I arrived here...the thumbnail that has been, by now, probably shared by at least a score of social network users...The picture depicts so ruthless an act by a cop – Seems that you've used this to convey the message of police brutality. Such pictures have been captured by the lenses of hundreds of cameras that have been appearing within the first 3 pages of national dailies for years…But the same lenses are unable to snap another side of the story- the protestors themselves inciting such actions- disobeying the orders of police, pelting stones upon them, vandalizing public/private vehicles. These camera lenses barely take pictures of policemen injured during such scenes…And very few blogs cover the physical and mental burden these policemen have to go through during such protests and demonstrations…On the one hand they are obliged to remain at bay until they get “Higher Orders” and on the other hand, they need to evacuate the street of the protestors as soon as the orders are received! If they even touch a single soul until the commands are delivered by seniors, they will be chided; if they FAIL TO ACT with force upon instructions, they are again reprimanded…Carrying a baton, donned in heavy defensive attire, standing all day either in scorching sun or downpour, psychologically harassed by protestors as well as seniors – in such grounds, how do you expect these cops to act in a normal, let alone civilized manner? I don’t think the cops derive a feeling of respite or refreshment by asking weird questions to late night commuters and probably that’s not the reason why they are inquiring in such a manner…A little common sense or if that’s not sufficient then a little research will definitely provide you with an answer ….I am not trying to act “spokesman” of the Nepal Police nor any of my near relatives is in the police force. I simply couldn’t digest the corny and clichéd reproach against the policemen and their acts that entirely ignores the other side of the coin!

  2. @bibek dahal... thanks for your comment. I have relatives in the police force... hehe... and they are not happy about it...