Monday Night RAW...

I am not talking about them World Wrestling ko Monday Night RAW thing ni feri. The last tyam I watched them 'funny wrestling' was back when Andre the Giant was still alive kya.

Our comrade 'Badal' (also lover of our didi, Pampha Bhusal) tells us that our chairman, Prachandoo is actually a RAW agent rey. Yes, we all know that kya. Them desis are not stupid ni... all them tyam, Prachandoo was hiding in India and sleeping with them RAW agents while Gajurel and Baidya were arrested by the Indian Police and enjoyed them roti and sabji at them desi jails kya.

And our Dr. Saheb is greeted with black flags by his own comrades....(well, they happen to belong to a different faction ni). The last tyam them comrades waved them black flags was back when Rakesh Sood was the Indian Ambassador. Sood is now somewhere in France, enjoying them fashion shows, truffles and caviar hola ni.

I think someone needs to tell our communists that they should be waving their red bandanas instead ni.... abuh kalo looga ko pani market khaney bichar cha ki kya ho?

Our netas are never happy. Baburam did try his best to make them Desis happy. He signed them BIPA thing with them Indians. Mr. Bijukhche, the 'King' of Bhaktapur thinks that this trade agreement will now make it easier for them Indian army to come to Nepal rey.

I think our netas know how to protest and that's it. If you are not happy then why not do your protest rallies before Dr. Saheb signed the deal kya?

I think it's about tyam, our netas stopped blaming India for everything. Baroo... if you are so patriotic then invade India ni. Baidya would be the first one in line to start the 'war' hola ni. How come our comrades are not helping our folks who get harassed at the Indian border? Why are our comrades not hanging them human traffickers who sell our sisters to them Indian brothels?

Cha-hiney kura garnoo chaina... jahiley pani nautanki natak garyo, basyo... daka haroo!

Armed Police Force (APF) is 11 today. Happy Birthday to our so-called (army) police. They were quite disciplined before but since they started guarding our borders and them foreign embassies.. they have slowly become like our 'Nepal' Police kyaaruh.

Our APF wallahs have now learned them tricks kya. They harass our own people at them borders and ask for chiya kharcha etiyaadi. And the ones guarding them embassies and INGOs need to understand that this is our country and we have the right to stop and stare at them big walls of them foreign embassies.

You don't have the right to blow your whistles and threaten us with bodily harm if we like to chat with a friend in front of them embassy gates ni. Hami lay kawr tirey ko paisa lay taw-lab khaney ani hami lai nai thok-nay .. kya mazza hagi.

APF ko kura garda.. I still remember the former IGP, Krishna Mohan Shrestha and his wife who were gunned down by our Mao-buddies. I hope someday Prachandoo uncle will apologize to the late IGP's daughters. How come none of them so-called netas were hurt during them "People's War" kya?

If the Mao-buddies were so anti-monarchy then why is Gyanu uncle still getting them free security and fuel and what not? If our comrades were so 'desh-bhakta' then why are they making deals with the Desis ni?

Yestai ho ... rajniti bhanchan.... baroo I think we can do without our politicians... baroo let's send a thousand people to get some 'referee training' from FIFA and every time somebody commits a crime, be it murder or ghoos-khaa-ying then he or she can show them red cards and ban them for not a game but for a decade ni...

Sabai chor haroo lai desh nee-kaa-laa gardim naw... ki kaso? I think we have almost seen it all. We have seen the raja-badis, the so-called prajantantra-badis and the mao-badis... but all of them were kha-o-badis... now we need someone who is on a diet hola ni!

Tihar is here...

Abuh feri Tihar soo-roo... I like Tihar more than Dashain ... I think we all do hagi! Baburam dai is back from India. He got all emotional @ JNU rey. Yes, I feel the same whenever I go back to my school.

If Baburam hadn't gone to JNU then he would just be another professor and maybe would have designed a few buildings here and there hola. JNU is like .. I don't know UC Berkeley (in the 60s) hola ni.

Comrade chairman promised us that he would get everybody to follow his 'final' plan after Dashain... abuh Tihar nai ayee-sakyo. Now, we will have to wait another week while we feed our cows, crows, dogs and then the Goddess of wealth and not to forget Bhai Tika!

I hope our neta haroo ko sisters will ask their brothers to do the right thing instead of screwing us over and over again kya. Baroo tyee didi bahini haroo lay bhai tika nai boycott gawr-dey kaso hola? Ani yeso koo-cho lay pani tha-ta-ye hoon-thyo ni tyee chor neta dai bhai haroo lai?

I will be in Pokhara ... and I might not post daily... the 'daily' ritual has already been broken ... hehe! From November onwards, I plan to write what you want me to write... hehe!

Bhanna khojya chai... if somebody wants me to write about the best momo in town or anything , be it religion, samosas, Prachandoo's mustache etc then please use the comment section below!

Give me a topic and I will try to write something about it. I will start this thing from November... so if you are the first one reading this, then you can write 'November 1st: How to walk from Thamel to Indrachowk in less than 2 minutes' etc... hehe.. then the arko saathi or saathi-ni can send me a topic for November 2nd and so on hai.

Yes, this is a new bet thing going on with my friend feri.... I will do this until December end and let's see what happens after that hai.

And hamro Nepal Army is sending a bunch of their folks to Iraq. NA has been doing this 'UN peacekeeping' stuff since 1958 and we have like thousands of soldiers around the world trying to bring peace to them war-zones.

They get paid like 1,000 dollars a month or something ani tyo pani, army ko welfare fund lay 20-22% kaat-cha. And our army generals get to enjoy and so do their wives kya... tyehi welfare fund ko paisa yeta otta gardai...

My 'Major' friends make like 15,000 Rupees a month. Abuh tyo paisa lay kay khaney ho Kathmandu ma? So if they do get to go to them UN peacekeeping missions for a year or two then they bring home 10-15 lakhs. Some buy a second-hand Santro, some buy 3-4 anna jagga in the outskirts of the valley etiyaadi.

I think we should send the whole 'PLA' folks to some peacekeeping mission somewhere in the world. They can play 'soldier' and make 10-15 lakhs instead of using our money or asking bideshis to pitch in for their 'goodbye' package ni.

I sometimes feel sorry for our security personnel. Them generals and DIGs enjoy life like our Shree Tins and use them soldiers as their personal slaves. Our politicians use our security personnel the same way and it's about tyam, Baburam dai looked into this and seriously reform the police service kya.

What about the army? Well, the bo-lai kho-wai is pretty good in the army. Everybody speaks like 'Rana' cousins... hehe! But like every other institutions, maathi tuh politics bhayee halcha ni.

Baburam dai, I am too lazy to send you an email but please come up with 'Mind Your Language' for our cops hai. Why are them men in blue swearing like sailors (we don't have a navy ni) and who gives them the right to harass, torture and abuse us kya?

Baburam dai will win our hearts and minds if he comes out with a 'code of conduct' for our police-wallahs as well. Ministers haroo tuh dekhi halyo ni... they still run around Kathmandu, blazing hem sirens and what not. Abuh police wallah ko taal pani tyehi tuh hola ni... even if someone comes out with them new rules and regulations kya.

Or maybe we can send our police-wallahs back to school or maybe ask our army wallahs to teach them how to speak. I really don't like the 'Khai-see-wos, Laagai-see-wos' language but it's better to hear them cops say, 'Tapai bike batuh jhaari-see-wos' rather than 'Saaley, *** ko choro, bike batuh jhar gadha kukoor' hoinuh ruh?

My friends tell me that I am wrong but I still think that if it weren't for them police brutalities ... not many folks would have joined our Mao-buddies during them "People's War" kya. Our police-wallahs haven't changed a bit in the last 20 years!

Them constables are now hawal-daars hola but how come the 'new' ones act and behave the same kya? Or is Nepal Police only hiring 'chors' and folks who were never taught to act and speak like 'civilized' human beings?

Lau .. Aja lai yeti nai... jado soo-roo bhayo... raati chahi jacket sacket lagai yeruh hid-noo hola... or hidi-see-wos.. hehe!

Gaddafi is dead.....

Gaddafi should have taken my advice hola... if he had only moved to Milan and opened a fashion boutique or something then he would still be alive today ni. Lau... Gaddafi is finally dead ... and we have lost one of the world's most outlandish dictator ever..

Ronnie dai (tyeti bela ko Amriki President) did try to kill him once.... Gaddafi was lucky then but finally, after 42 years of designing his own dresses and editing his 'Green Book', the great self-proclaimed chess grandmaster is dead.

The Chinese have like 20 something billion dollars invested in Libya and they are calling for an 'inclusive' transition rey. Yes, the Chinese are very inclusive kya.... we have seen how they treat their minorities ni. But like everyone else... they do want a piece of the pie because now it will be the Euro-trash and Amriki cowboys making billions ni.

Them Amrikis and their Euro-trash friends made deals with Saddam ... ani pachi they got rid of him. Obama will pull out all them Amriki soldiers from Iraq by the end of this year rey. But Iraq ruh Afghanistan ma arko 10-20 barsa tyestai daang doong nai hoonay ho kya.

The problem with them countries chahi.... tyehi tribal leaders, war lords ruling their own little kingdoms ni... ani Amriki democracy won't work there ki kaso.

Libya has them oil soil.... so does Iraq and Afghanistan ma tuh khoi... opium bahek kay paucha tha-ha bhayenuh malai! But when you have been ruled by jackasses for so long .... it's pretty difficult to change overnight ni.

We had 100+ years of 'Rana' party and our netas are still acting like Ranas kya. Nothing against my 'Rana' friends... but it's been 60+ years and we still have the 'Hukumi Saa-Shun' ni... even our Mao-buddies turned out to be jhan daka than the previous clowns kya.

Now, them Amriki analysts tell us that Syria ko paalo rey. Khoi... Gaddafi became a friend of the Amrikis when he decided to abandon his 'Nukie' plans... and his infatuation with Condi didi and his love letter to Obama didn't help hagi.

So the moral of the story is .... just because you shook hands with the Amriki doesn't mean he's going to invest in your gau ko jagga. Even if he does then he will probably buy your so-called organic stuff for 10 cents and then make 10 dollars from it kya...hehe!

Amrika is a great country but them foreign policies natak chahi... it's all about their national interest rey.... so they will help you fight their so-called enemies or give them your oil soil but when you are in the hot seat then they will turn their back and then you get shot in the head!

Yes, Saddam, Gaddafi and even Mubarak.... them jackasses ruled their countries like them kings, who once ruled in them places... but they forgot to leave before it was too late hola. Mubarak is smoking hookah but poor Saddam and Gaddafi... one was arrested in his undies, chomping on Mars and drinking 7up kyaaruh and then he got hanged.... ani our fashion designer chahi.... he didn't even have time to clean up .... he got shot in the head before he could go on a rant!

Them Libyans (well most of them) are happy... we too were happy when we got rid of the 'Rana Saashun', when we got rid of 'Panchey Baja' and when we became a 'Republic' .... abuh tuh, all we need is them Prozac hola ni.

Baburam dai is busy, chatting and eating chaat saat hola. And Prachandoo dada is now in Nagarkot. I think Nepal Tourism Board (NTB) should ask our comrade chairman to write about his visits to them resorts here and there kya. And them tourists can visit them places.. maybe all them resorts should market them rooms ni... like ... 'the chairman slept here' or something like that!