Saturday, April 29, 2017

Local Elections or not?

We are two weeks away from the first phase of our local elections but it seems that our incompetent government might even postpone it and make us all look like fools. After all, our lazy bums are very good at postponing everything except when raising their salaries and perks. If they get to enjoy the loot then they will all come on board and work together. If they do not get to steal from us or have it their way then they will blame each other for the political chaos in this land. 

We wasted billions of Rupees feeding our Constipated Assembly (CA) members for years and we finally got a constitution. It seems that our constitution is always the best in the world and we should be proud of it. But of course, our Madhesi and Janjati parties were not and our half-baked constitution needs amendments to bring everyone on board. 

We got hit by the Big One and it's been two years after and our displaced families are still living in temporary shelters our out in the open. We seem to have the most cold-hearted politicians in the world. These parasites have their own dirty agenda that they want to fulfill while ignoring what's best for the country and its people. How can you enjoy the perks and loot us all while thousands of our brothers and sisters are struggling to rebuild their lives and homes?

We, the people are excited and eager to vote for our local representatives but the government is busy trying to make all the chors happy while ignoring the wishes of the common people. First, our government promised to hold local elections on May 14th. We were happy about it. Then, they tell us that we will have elections in two phases so that our Madhesi parties are happy. We were okay with it as well. 

Now, we don't even know if the local elections will take place as scheduled as our bickering buffoons are fighting with each other in regards to amending the constitution. Our chor netas tell us that political stability is the key to development in this land but it's a shame that it is our own politicians who have worked hard to divide this country, make us fight with each other while they continue to make deals that will only benefit them and their parties.

It seems that our corrupt government has enough funds to hold elections but not enough to help the families of those displaced by the earthquakes. Holding elections in two phases will cost us more and it will also not help the candidates who are standing up for local elections either. And our government really seems to be out of touch with reality. That happens when you ride around in luxury vehicles, surrounded by armed police force and their guns pointing at the general public. 

Our politicians and civil servants seem to be very poor in math as well. How on earth can you stand up for local elections with a budget of few lakhs Rupees? Well, that might be possible if you are standing up to be a member of the Ward or Village Committee. But to fight the election for Ward Chairperson, a meager 3 lakhs Rupees is not even enough to buy doodh chiya and newari khaja set for your karyakartas. 

And you need young mundreys to go around in bikes, throw away pamphlets on the streets and hang out and local chiya pasals and wait for instructions from the candidate to either create problems for the other candidates or just gather and show their strength for no apparent reason. And who will pay for the petrol for their bikes?

If you want t be a Mayor then you cannot spend more than 7.5 lakhs. Well, if you are living in the city then all the candidates who are vying to be our Mayor will be breaking the law. Mayoral candidates will have to raise at least a few Karods to buy votes, pay off opposition wallahs, have mundrey under their wings and for every other shady deals that needs to be done to win the elections. 

Maybe our Election Commission wallahs have done their math by using the figures from the last local elections held in this country, which was more than two decades ago.  Even doodh chiya cost three times more now. Nobody can afford to eat an egg these days and let's even forget about a few piece of masu on Saturdays.

Our political parties are the most corrupt ones in this land. Our civil servants come second because they have to pay off our netas to gain promotion and lucrative transfers. Our contractors have to pay both the civil servants and our corrupt netas. The common folks have to only pay our civil servants but of course the dough goes all the way up to the mantri and the mantri has to keep some for himself, set aside some for his political party as well.

We talk about voting for the most competent candidate regardless of their party affiliation but it seems that we have no choice but to choose from the least evil one from the major political parties. And these chors will do what's best for their parties, cadres and con artists. At the end of the day, everybody forgets about the common people. Either we tell ourselves we are cursed and we leave it to fate or we need to gather all the courage we can muster and make sure we hold these parasites accountable. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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