Saturday, October 15, 2016

Post-Dashain Syndrome!

Well, Dashain is now over and it will take a while for most of us to go back to our daily routine. Most of us are already suffering from indigestion, stomach cramps and what not. After all, most of us consume more meat and alcohol in a week than we do in a year. 

And we are Nepalese, we have to eat, drink and be merry till we drop. Thank God, we have been lucky that we have yet to hear any news about someone's stomach exploding due to massive gorging that goes down during Dashain.

Our government offices will open but our civil servants will not do any work till Tihar is over. Well, they really don't do much during the rest of the year either but when festive season comes, they seem to suffer from low blood sugar and need more chocolates or as they call it 'chiya kharcha' to carry out their duties.

Our politicians will also hang out with each other and agree to disagree on everything after Chhath Parva is over.  Until then, they will just smile and pretend that everything is okay in this land of ours. Our Madhesi netas plan to take to the streets after most of the folks are done with praying to the Sun-God in Madhes. 

Let us hope that we won't have another of those border blockade again. It seems that our political parties only know how to make the lives of the common folks miserable and somehow think it's okay to shut down schools, highways and borders to show their strength to each other. 

Why do you need to take us all hostage when the folks in the government fail to address your demands? If you are not happy with the government then gherao Singha Durbar, Baluwatar, the House but don't screw up our daily routine.

When will our political parties stop acting like juvenile delinquents and grow up and show us that they have a plan on how to take this country forward instead of taking us back to the Stone Ages? But of course, most of our netas do not have any plans, vision or a roadmap on how to develop this country. 

Their one and only 'master plan' is to join the government, be a mantri, make millions and even billions if possible and then after falling down from the Kurchi, wait for the next time to grab the Kurchi to loot some more.

We, the common folks will start opening our notebooks and calculating our expenses during Dashain. We have already spent our salaries and bonuses and we are worried about how to manage our expenses during Tihar. 

Our Hakim Sahebs and Chor Netas don't have to worry about managing their household budget. They are opening their black books and checking their figures to make sure that they got gift hampers from everyone they know. If not, the person will either have to come with gifts for Tihar or might be black-listed from receiving state contracts, promotions and lucrative transfers in the future. 

Yes, our politicians and civil servants are very sensitive folks. They have big egos and if you are a con artist seeking favors from these chors, you better massage their egos now and then or else you will get the message to seek safe passage from this country or face action from Lokman and his chamchas! Yes, everyone is under Lokman's radar except the big sharks who continue to loot this land!

While this beautiful land of ours celebrated Dashain for a week,  we had some good and sad news from around the world. King Bhumibol, the world's longest-reiging monarch passed away. We don’t have a King anymore but if Gyanu Uncle had visited Thailand then and sought some advice, he would still be around. But our politicians should also learn a thing or two from history. 

If you continue to loot us and think this will last forever, there will come a time when those in favor of an autocratic regime will gain the upper hand. Hope our netas will play their cards right and not gamble away the gains made from many peoples' movement in this country just to make a few Rupees more!

Portugal's former Prime Minister is more than likely to become the next UN Secretary-General. Hope someday one of our own will head the UN but until then can our incompetent government at least propose formation of some-kind of a rapid reaction force for the UN and we could have half a million of our young folks joining the UN Peacekeeping force as well. 

Our Nepal Army seem to be doing a fine job at such peacekeeping missions. I think it' s time the UN had their own permanent peacekeeping body manned by our people!

And Amrikan folk singer and songwriter Bob Dylan has won the 2016 Nobel Prize for literature. "How many ears must our politicians have before they can hear our people cry?"  Hope someday one of our own will come home with a Nobel Prize for his or her work to make humanity better in one way or another.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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