Saturday, October 1, 2016

Billion Rupee Goats!

Dashain is here and our goat traders expect to make a killing this year. Our corrupt clowns, lazy civil servants and slimy contractors all have fun during Dashain while us, the common folks have to make sure that our salaries and savings will be enough to match the expenses during the festive season. 

And if it doesn't then we should plan ahead and ask for loans from our local co-operatives. That’s how we manage our monthly budget while those in power only know how to misuse the country's budget by either asking for commission for all government contracts or not spending enough of the budget to develop infrastructure and other development projects.

During Dashain, our civil servants and netas get gifts from contractors, con artists and bideshi agents.  The MA Gold Medalist who is now a hakim saheb loves his Black Label. Our netas who could not even afford a glass of local raksi before they came into power now only drink Blue Label. 

So it doesn't make any difference if the prices of alcoholic beverages go up by a third every year. Our netas and civil servants don't pay for it because they get freebies from those who seek favors from those in power.

Kathmanduites spend a billion Rupees on animals during the festive season. We,
Nepalese kill buffalos, goats, chickens and ducks to make Goddess Durga happy and of course to fill our tummies during the festival. 

We have yet to find the request by our Gods to sacrifice animals to bring peace in this land. Dashain is supposed to be about victory of good over evil but here in this land, the evil-doers seem to have all the fun while the good, hardworking, honest folks find it hard every year to live a decent life.

Last year, we had the 'blockade' and we had to make sure that we had enough cooking gas to make dal bhat instead of the whole 100-course meals for our relatives and guest. This year, we seem to have enough cooking gas and we will certainly get Desi and Chinese animals without having to worry about shortages of anything. 

But of course, our government seems not interested to control food prices at all. Every year, prices go up and we, the consumers see our wallets empty a lot faster than the previous year. Our netas and civil servants tell us that they are cracking down against blackmarketers and those who sell adulterated food products but these criminals get away by paying minimal fine and do not need to spend a day in jail.

This year, like every other year, our Nepal Food Corporation (NFC) will supply a few thousand goats while half of them will die on their way to the valley. The dead goats will probably end up in the homes of our netas and civil servants. 

Let us hope that in the future, we will have a government that provides at least one goat for each household in the country at a subsidized rate every Dashain. Those who eat meat can make mutton curry and kebabs while those who go green and organic can keep it as a pet for their kids and cousins.

More than 80% of the goats we eat come from the Desis. We spend more than 3 billion Rupees annually on goats alone. This year, our incompetent government has fixed a ceiling on retail prices for meat. 

So if you are paying more than Rs 285 for chicken and Rs 850 for goat meat then call some government hotline and expect the meat seller to be arrested and then released an hour later after he promises to gift a kilo of khasi to the cops!

So it really doesn't matter if our government fixes a ceiling on anything or try to control our byaparis who want to fleece us all. Look at our cabbies and their nataks. 

In other countries, the public protest against such criminals by boycotting the services they offer but in this land of ours, the criminals protest whenever the government tells them that they can no longer fleece the customers with their tampered meters or exorbitant cab fares that seem to be more than in the developed countries. 

Our bus wallahs continue to drive like crazy and thousands of folks lose their lives every year on our highways. They blame the government for poor roads, while the government blames the crazy drivers for racing as if they are in the Grand Prix or something. 

Yes, we have been playing this blame game forever and nothing will change unless Lokman gets into the picture and settles the issue by making chiya kharcha from both sides!

Let us wish each other a Happy Dashain and may we all have the strength to confront evil-doers and not pay them chiya kharhca whenever we visit our government offices to seek the services we need. 

May Goddess Durga give Dr KC strength to carry out his hunger strike and may we support him in his mission to at least make our corrupt clowns accountable and not roll over us with their decisions to screw our country, our lives and our dreams!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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