Festival without Lights!

We just got done with Dashain and now Tihar is here.  And our bus byaparis will continue to fleece the customers and our incompetent government will not take any action. Yes, a few bus drivers will be arrested, some of the buses will impounded for a while but that's about it. 

Our highways are in shambles and due to dilapidated roads, we hear about bus accidents and deaths but our buffoons are in no hurry to repair our roads and take action against bus drivers who drive like crazy. And our netas don’t care because when they have to go out of the valley, they either use the Army helicopter or charter a private one and then never pay the bill at all. 

As most of our Hindu festivals, Tihar signifies the victory of good over evil. But in this land of ours, it seems that we only have evil-doers who seem to defeat their own breed and continue to have fun while we, the people have no option but to hope for a better tomorrow which may never come. 

I think we should stop celebrating Dashain and Tihar or any other festivals until we get rid of the parasites running the country.  Do we really have any reason to rejoice and celebrate our festivals when those who are supposed to lead us are leading themselves to illegal riches and brewing social disharmony while we pray to our Gods to bring peace and love in this land?  

It seems that we are all waiting for a savior to save us all from evil but we are either lazy or afraid to take our stand and face the evil-doers and kick them out of this country.

Our dictator Lokman still has a month to either defend himself, resign or leak all the so-called secret files online and head to one of our bidhesi Embassy in Lainchour and apply for political asylum or something. We all know that our politicians and civil servants are corrupt and Lokman is not a saint either.  

If Lokman was minting money by extorting from civil servants and byaparis then he must have divided the loot amongst our top leaders as well. You can never walk alone when you are making millions of Rupees illegally and if you don't share the loot, you will get in trouble. 

It seems that we just have to keep on witnessing the same game where crooks battler other crooks and either way, we will just have crooks running the show again and again.

Our incompetent government seem to have no idea how to provide relief to the earthquake survivors. If they had appointed Dhurmus and Suntali to head the reconstruction effort then most of our displaced families would be living in real homes instead of temporary shelters.  And instead of needing billions of dollars, our government could finish the works in less if the 'comedy' couple were given responsibility to head the reconstruction authority. 

The Desi President will be in town after Tihar. And our government tells us that it will be better if we stay home and rest from the 'Tihar' hangover. Why on earth do we need a public holiday when a bideshi comes to town?  

Did Modi Bhai declare a public holiday in India when our Emperor was having his samosa and chai in Delhi?  I think it would be better if visiting head of states and VVIPs arrived early in the morning and took the last flight out of the country. And our VIPs should also do the same to save us from traffic jams. 

Yes, we no longer have a King in this land but now we have hundreds of mini-Maharajas and they too seem to want to get the same royal treatment as well. Nothing has changed since we became a 'Republic'. 

Yes, Gyanu Uncle no longer gets to live in Narayanhiti and enjoy chiya kharcha from the state except the security folks still guarding his mansion. But our netas seem to continue to exploit and loot us all and they have become no different from the ones they seem to have replaced.

Our civil servants always have the last laugh. Politicians come and go, power players change but our hakim sahebs will get to enjoy the loot and share it with whoever is in power. We only talk about our netas and their circus acts but the real problem with this country is in the bureaucracy. 

Those who entered the civil service after the 1990 Andolan are now our hakim sahebs. They have seen it all from Mandaleys to Morons to Maoists to Madhesi netas. And the reason why we still have yet to witness any reform in our bureaucracy or the system as a whole is because our civil servants teach our ignorant netas how to make some moolah while in power. 

And yes, there a few good ones who seem to resist pressure from politicians when doing their job but our netas only like dishonest, corrupt and incompetent civil servants who will pay for promotions and lucrative postings. Tihar will come and go. The Desi President will come and go. 

We don't know what Lokman will do. But we all know that just getting rid of Lokman is not a victory of good over evil. We need to get rid of all the clowns who continue to ensure that evil wins in this land while good takes a back seat and do nothing but sulk!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Lokman Returns

Finally, our super-hero Lokman has returned from his vacation and we will get to hear his side of the story if he decides not to quit before the House brings impeachment proceedings against this man. First of all, we have no one to blame but our so-called top leaders who gave the go-ahead to Khilly Dai to appoint Lokman to be our CIAA Chief back in 2013. 

It was our same good for nothing clowns who backed Lokman to head the anti-corruption agency and now our loafers want him out. It was fine when Lokman went after small fishes. Yes, catch a low-level government employee receiving bribes from service seekers. It was fine when Lokman even went a bit too far and decided to interfere in the works of private institutions as well. Yes, send Kanak to jail, go after his property and what not because he was receiving foreign grants.

But our netas make millions of Rupees from commissions, promotions and transfers of government employees but Lokman was too busy to look into such matters. Our incompetent government receives millions of dollars in grants from the bideshis but Lokman didn't care if our civil servants were not doing their job but instead were working with contractors to make some moolah which also went up to our netas!

Yes, Dr KC also wants Lokman to face the music but our netas didn't care much until they found out that if they continued to allow Lokman to be himself then they too would face charges for corruption.  Lokman should have gone after the sharks after taking office. Then, we would have supported him but he decided to just bully the small folks and leave the big chors alone.

We heard that Lokman was finally looking into the looting of billions of Rupees meant for the former rebels. We all know that some of our so-called revolutionaries made millions after deducting the pay meant for the former combatants. The money was not deposited into the party's accounts but instead in the bank accounts of our so-called great comrades. Or maybe, our comrades just buried boras of cash in their backyard. Then our Emperor tells us that he has already talked with Lokman and everything was fine. 

Yes, it'a shame that communists in this land of ours are not really communists. They are wild capitalists and they would gladly sell this country to the highest bidder. Let us not only blame the comrades. Our Congressis, UML and Madhesi netas are not saints either. They are all corrupt and all they want is power and the opportunity to loot some more till they drop dead.

We all know that our top civil servants and top politicians will never face the music in this land. We have yet to see a hakim saheb who doesn't have a house worth millions in the valley. We have yet to see top leaders of major political parties without mansions in the valley. 

The CIAA should have invited all our hakim sahebs going back to the days of the Pancheys to line up at its office and present all their financial documents. If Lokman had done his job right, then all of the hakim sahebs now and those already retired would have their property confiscated and would be sent to jail. 

Our politicians come to the valley in torn shirts and worn-out slippers. In a decade or two, they ride around in luxury vehicles and live in mansions. If Lokman had done his job right, then all of our so-called top politicians would be in jail as well. 

But this is a funny country. When politicians go to jail, we , the common folks applaud but once they finish their jail term and come out then their supporters applaud and they became more powerful. Where did we go wrong? Why are corrupt and dishonest folks rewarded by the system while hardworking common folks suffer miserably in this alnd?

Now our chor netas tell us that Lokman just went too far and was acting like he owned the country and he could go after anyone from public officials to private citizens. Our netas have also gone too far and are worse than the players from the previous regime. Who will go after them?

Our politicians do not have courage. After Gyanu Uncle called it quits, the government commission has found Lokman responsible for misusing his authority to suppress the peoples' movement when he was the Chief Secretary. Lokman was no longer eligible for any public job ever. But then our so-called 'republican' netas decided to appoint the same man to head the anti-corruption agency.

It's been the same story since the Shree Tins left the building. The players from the previous regime are never punished. They never go to jail and are left alone. People like Kamal Thapa should not be playing politics in 'New Nepal'. 

How can a former Home Minister during Gyanu Uncle's rule continue to be a power player? We have no one to blame but our chor netas who talk about replacing the system but leave the players from the old team alone and instead join hands with them and continue to enjoy the loot. 

It’s about time our anti-corruption agency was answerable only to the President and not to our filthy scumbags. Yes, let us make laws that give the President the right to appoint the person to head the CIAA.  

I think if our politicians really want to show us that they want good for this country then please appoint Dr KC as our CIAA Chief! Of course, that's not going to happen but if Dr KC was allowed to head such agency then we would have to covert our national stadium into an open jail because tens of thousands of corrupt civil servants and politicians would not fit in our prisons in the country. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Post-Dashain Syndrome!

Well, Dashain is now over and it will take a while for most of us to go back to our daily routine. Most of us are already suffering from indigestion, stomach cramps and what not. After all, most of us consume more meat and alcohol in a week than we do in a year. 

And we are Nepalese, we have to eat, drink and be merry till we drop. Thank God, we have been lucky that we have yet to hear any news about someone's stomach exploding due to massive gorging that goes down during Dashain.

Our government offices will open but our civil servants will not do any work till Tihar is over. Well, they really don't do much during the rest of the year either but when festive season comes, they seem to suffer from low blood sugar and need more chocolates or as they call it 'chiya kharcha' to carry out their duties.

Our politicians will also hang out with each other and agree to disagree on everything after Chhath Parva is over.  Until then, they will just smile and pretend that everything is okay in this land of ours. Our Madhesi netas plan to take to the streets after most of the folks are done with praying to the Sun-God in Madhes. 

Let us hope that we won't have another of those border blockade again. It seems that our political parties only know how to make the lives of the common folks miserable and somehow think it's okay to shut down schools, highways and borders to show their strength to each other. 

Why do you need to take us all hostage when the folks in the government fail to address your demands? If you are not happy with the government then gherao Singha Durbar, Baluwatar, the House but don't screw up our daily routine.

When will our political parties stop acting like juvenile delinquents and grow up and show us that they have a plan on how to take this country forward instead of taking us back to the Stone Ages? But of course, most of our netas do not have any plans, vision or a roadmap on how to develop this country. 

Their one and only 'master plan' is to join the government, be a mantri, make millions and even billions if possible and then after falling down from the Kurchi, wait for the next time to grab the Kurchi to loot some more.

We, the common folks will start opening our notebooks and calculating our expenses during Dashain. We have already spent our salaries and bonuses and we are worried about how to manage our expenses during Tihar. 

Our Hakim Sahebs and Chor Netas don't have to worry about managing their household budget. They are opening their black books and checking their figures to make sure that they got gift hampers from everyone they know. If not, the person will either have to come with gifts for Tihar or might be black-listed from receiving state contracts, promotions and lucrative transfers in the future. 

Yes, our politicians and civil servants are very sensitive folks. They have big egos and if you are a con artist seeking favors from these chors, you better massage their egos now and then or else you will get the message to seek safe passage from this country or face action from Lokman and his chamchas! Yes, everyone is under Lokman's radar except the big sharks who continue to loot this land!

While this beautiful land of ours celebrated Dashain for a week,  we had some good and sad news from around the world. King Bhumibol, the world's longest-reiging monarch passed away. We don’t have a King anymore but if Gyanu Uncle had visited Thailand then and sought some advice, he would still be around. But our politicians should also learn a thing or two from history. 

If you continue to loot us and think this will last forever, there will come a time when those in favor of an autocratic regime will gain the upper hand. Hope our netas will play their cards right and not gamble away the gains made from many peoples' movement in this country just to make a few Rupees more!

Portugal's former Prime Minister is more than likely to become the next UN Secretary-General. Hope someday one of our own will head the UN but until then can our incompetent government at least propose formation of some-kind of a rapid reaction force for the UN and we could have half a million of our young folks joining the UN Peacekeeping force as well. 

Our Nepal Army seem to be doing a fine job at such peacekeeping missions. I think it' s time the UN had their own permanent peacekeeping body manned by our people!

And Amrikan folk singer and songwriter Bob Dylan has won the 2016 Nobel Prize for literature. "How many ears must our politicians have before they can hear our people cry?"  Hope someday one of our own will come home with a Nobel Prize for his or her work to make humanity better in one way or another.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Why KC Matters!

It's been almost two weeks since Dr. Govinda KC began his 9th hunger strike to demand reforms in the medical education sector in the country but our incompetent, corrupt and  shameless government seems to want to see Dr KC dead instead of talking to him and fulfilling his demands. 

Our politicians are only good at making promises and not keeping it. Dr KC has been played around so many times that we have lost count. 

Every time, the doctor goes on hunger strike, the government of the day, wait for a week or two before asking the doctor to break his fast after promising to fulfill his demands. 

Then nothing happens and the poor doctor has to go back to his 'hunger' games again in hopes that the government of the day will turn out to be different and make concrete decisions to reform the medical sector in the country. 

But it doesn't matter who comes to power in this land. It's just another chor who has won the musical chair contest to live in Baluwatar and he brings along his forty thieves to loot the state treasury. 

Our politicians do not want change. They do not want to reform the system that they too fought to change because they know very well that the 'old' system of 'loot, boot  & shoot' works pretty good for those who want to make quick bucks! 

The Shree Tins left the building in the 50s but it seems that our chor netas of today still idolize them when it comes to their use of power and how to misuse the state treasury to live a good life!

Dr KC does not want the medical mafia to open up medical colleges and produce incompetent doctors but those investing in medical schools want him out of the picture so that they can continue to loot from the students and give us witchdoctors instead of the real ones. 

It's a shame that this beautiful country of ours is being ruled by goons, pickpockets and con artists. We have politicians who only know how to loot the state treasury, extort from the fake-VAT Bill byaparis and exploit the common folks to win votes and make tons of notes instead of working for the people!

Gagan Thapa is our Health Minister. He tells us that he supports Dr KC and his demands but if you really want to support our 'doctor' then please resign from this government which you are part of and join the doctor's hunger strike instead. 

It's about time, we the people,  supported Dr KC's hunger strike not only on Facebook and Twitter but taking part in it for at least a day or two or longer depending on how long you can go without a plate of vyar vyar momos.  

We all tell Dr KC that he is the only person in this whole country who has the guts to stand up against the mafia ruling this land. But we lack the courage to join him and fight this system filled with nepotism and corruption. Dr KC now does not only want reform in the medical sector but also want the CIAA Chief Lokman to be impeached and booted out from his Kurchi. 

When did Lokman become the boss of all bosses. Yes, this great land of ours is being run by our mafia families and Lokman seems to be the guy who seem to have more power than our other mob bosses. 

Lokman really has to go! It's okay to go after government officials and government agencies but this so-called Super Hero is now going after NGOs and even folks who have nothing to do with the government or our taxpayers money. 

If Lokman is the judge of all things then why on earth do we need our courts? Why do we need a government in the first place, if Dictator Lokman can do anything he likes, go after anyone he doesn't like and try to interfere even in a entrance exam for a six-year old? 

Well, he hasn't gotten that far but Lokman is here to stay, don't be surprised if he goes after your favorite momo pasal for failing to give him a cut. This is not the Lokman-Tantra our brothers and sisters died for. We do not want Lokman to be our Super Man. 

Our Emperor promised to mend his ways and show us that he really wants to work for the people. He should visit Dr KC and fulfill his demands. And the first one is to kick out Lokman from his 'almighty' powerful seat and appoint someone who is not tainted and has led an honest life. 

We have no one to blame but our major mafia families for allowing the appointment of Karki as our CIAA Chief in 2013. 

Khil Dai would not have appointed such evil person who as the Chief Secretary during Gyanu Uncle's rule was responsible as well for the violation of human rights during the demonstration against then King's rule. How can such person come back and be our CIAA chief? 

They tell us that the deal to appoint Lokman was forged not here but in Delhi. If that is really true then our politicians have no right to continue to play politics in this land. Modi should take all our politicians to Varanasi and make them clean up the Ganges because our chors will never clean up Bagmati here at home. 

This Dashain, for those who are staying here in the Valley, please visit Dr KC, please join his strike and demand reforms in this country. If not, we will one day have to participate in a real-life, 'hunger games' and take down this government and the folks who run the show in this land. Good must always prevail over evil. 

We are good. They are bad. And if we just continue to be submissive and let these chors roll over us then it's only a matter of time when we will lose everything.  Dr KC doesn't need followers. He needs warriors to fight this system. Do we have the guts to join the fight against the clowns?

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Billion Rupee Goats!

Dashain is here and our goat traders expect to make a killing this year. Our corrupt clowns, lazy civil servants and slimy contractors all have fun during Dashain while us, the common folks have to make sure that our salaries and savings will be enough to match the expenses during the festive season. 

And if it doesn't then we should plan ahead and ask for loans from our local co-operatives. That’s how we manage our monthly budget while those in power only know how to misuse the country's budget by either asking for commission for all government contracts or not spending enough of the budget to develop infrastructure and other development projects.

During Dashain, our civil servants and netas get gifts from contractors, con artists and bideshi agents.  The MA Gold Medalist who is now a hakim saheb loves his Black Label. Our netas who could not even afford a glass of local raksi before they came into power now only drink Blue Label. 

So it doesn't make any difference if the prices of alcoholic beverages go up by a third every year. Our netas and civil servants don't pay for it because they get freebies from those who seek favors from those in power.

Kathmanduites spend a billion Rupees on animals during the festive season. We,

Nepalese kill buffalos, goats, chickens and ducks to make Goddess Durga happy and of course to fill our tummies during the festival. 

We have yet to find the request by our Gods to sacrifice animals to bring peace in this land. Dashain is supposed to be about victory of good over evil but here in this land, the evil-doers seem to have all the fun while the good, hardworking, honest folks find it hard every year to live a decent life.

Last year, we had the 'blockade' and we had to make sure that we had enough cooking gas to make dal bhat instead of the whole 100-course meals for our relatives and guest. This year, we seem to have enough cooking gas and we will certainly get Desi and Chinese animals without having to worry about shortages of anything. 

But of course, our government seems not interested to control food prices at all. Every year, prices go up and we, the consumers see our wallets empty a lot faster than the previous year. Our netas and civil servants tell us that they are cracking down against blackmarketers and those who sell adulterated food products but these criminals get away by paying minimal fine and do not need to spend a day in jail.

This year, like every other year, our Nepal Food Corporation (NFC) will supply a few thousand goats while half of them will die on their way to the valley. The dead goats will probably end up in the homes of our netas and civil servants. 

Let us hope that in the future, we will have a government that provides at least one goat for each household in the country at a subsidized rate every Dashain. Those who eat meat can make mutton curry and kebabs while those who go green and organic can keep it as a pet for their kids and cousins.

More than 80% of the goats we eat come from the Desis. We spend more than 3 billion Rupees annually on goats alone. This year, our incompetent government has fixed a ceiling on retail prices for meat. 

So if you are paying more than Rs 285 for chicken and Rs 850 for goat meat then call some government hotline and expect the meat seller to be arrested and then released an hour later after he promises to gift a kilo of khasi to the cops!

So it really doesn't matter if our government fixes a ceiling on anything or try to control our byaparis who want to fleece us all. Look at our cabbies and their nataks. 

In other countries, the public protest against such criminals by boycotting the services they offer but in this land of ours, the criminals protest whenever the government tells them that they can no longer fleece the customers with their tampered meters or exorbitant cab fares that seem to be more than in the developed countries. 

Our bus wallahs continue to drive like crazy and thousands of folks lose their lives every year on our highways. They blame the government for poor roads, while the government blames the crazy drivers for racing as if they are in the Grand Prix or something. 

Yes, we have been playing this blame game forever and nothing will change unless Lokman gets into the picture and settles the issue by making chiya kharcha from both sides!

Let us wish each other a Happy Dashain and may we all have the strength to confront evil-doers and not pay them chiya kharhca whenever we visit our government offices to seek the services we need. 

May Goddess Durga give Dr KC strength to carry out his hunger strike and may we support him in his mission to at least make our corrupt clowns accountable and not roll over us with their decisions to screw our country, our lives and our dreams!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

image source: advancedadventures.wordpress.com