Saturday, August 27, 2016

Faction Distraction!

Our great Kangaroos have finally managed to figure out whom to send to represent them in the new government. Earlier, the Maoist and the morons had agreed to go with 8 and 13 ministries but I guess our Emperor has shown us that he is flexible by doling out two more to the Kangaroos so that they can satisfy their own folks.

It took them 23 days to come up with 13 warriors. And like everything else in our society, our King Deuba has to deal with factions and make sure he keeps them happy as well. Poudel Ba gets five, Sitaula gets one and Deuba gets seven this time. We already have two other Kangaroo ministers from Deuba panel as well. 

So why do we need the quota system in everything from Supreme Court Justices to Ambassadors to Mantris and even hakim sahebs in our government agencies? Well, the answer is our political parties need to make some dough because they need to fight elections in the future and our netas need to make Karods so that they have enough to last another generation. 

Our netas come to the valley with torn shirts and worn-out slippers and in a decade, they ride around in luxury vehicles, live in mansions and their kids settle down abroad or get involved in government contracts to mint more money.

Our Emperor also has to make sure his so-called united Maoist stay together. But the factions who came back will only stick together as long as they receive opportunities to make some dough at the expense of our taxpayers. 

Yes, the only goal for our political parties once they get into power is to loot the state treasury, extort from our civil servants in return for lucrative postings and promotions and receive kickbacks and what not from con artists who win government contracts for projects that seem to go on for decades.

King Deuba is just waiting to have a good time again. Only eight months to go and then he gets to live in Baluwatar again. He will be swift to make decisions not to help the country and the people but to help himself and his near and dear ones. It's time to make more moolah for the King and his courtiers. 

Gagan Thapa is finally a mantri. Once, he was looked upon as our future leader, the voice of the youth and what not. Well, after the 'Ghaitey' encounter, we have come to realize that he is no different from our other netas who have mundreys under their wings and use their help to further their own political careers.

Gagan is now our Health Minister. So what does a Health Minister do in this land? Well, the civil servants will advise the minister whom to appoint, promote and transfer for cash full of boras. And then make money off medial equipments, medicines and any contracts out there. 

If Gagan really wants to win our hearts and mind then he should visit all our government hospitals all across the country. Yes, go on a field visit, spend a month or two outside the valley. Then, come up with a master plan to reform the healthcare system in the country. 

Take action against doctors receive their paycheck from the state but refer the patients to their own private clinics. Make sure our government hospitals are equipped with adequate resources and provide quality healthcare services to the public. He has eight months to prove himself. Let us hope he does his job well.

Our Prime Monster, the great Emperor thinks he has done enough with his direction to our high ranking civil servants to win the hearts and minds of the people by doing their job. So far, our sarkari hakims have done nothing. Shutting down petrol pumps and supermarkets is good news but we all know that the wrong doers will go back to their old ways once they have paid off our thulo mancheys.

At the end of the day, it's our civil servants who run the system and if they are not doing their job, we the people suffer miserably.

So how can we motivate our civil servants? Our comedian Oli gave them a salary hike and nothing happened. Our byaparis have all hiked the prices of their goods a day after the budget bhasan and we, the people now pay 20-30% more than two months ago. 

Our civil servants do not need salary hike, dress allowance and other perks. Most of them make double their state salaries from chiya kharcha provided by the service seekers. The peon will make double, the section officers will make five times more and the hakim sahebs will make millions. Everybody gets their share and everybody is happy except us the people!

Our netas are stuck in a quicksand of faction distraction. They can never get out of it because they can't piss of their own cadres. If they do, they will lose elections and will no longer get the opportunity to misuse the power and make millions. We have hundreds of political parties in this land. But it's just handful that are in the game and they will do everything possible to share the loot amongst themselves while bankrupting the country. 

Yes, keep on sharing and looting. Enjoy it while it lasts because all good things must come to an end some day.  We have seen the Shree Tins, we have the seen the Mandaleys and we are now into the age of 'Maoist, Morons and Madhesi combo plans'. Let's hope we will finally get the leadership we deserve by the end of this decade.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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