Our great Emperor is once again back into the power game as our 39th Prime Monster. If the man had not joined politics he would certainly be one of the country's finest actors today. He knows when to laugh, when to cry , when to grind his teeth and show his rage and when to fall flat and just smile and wait for another day to cook up another coalition to get back into power.
I think it's time we banned garlands, khatas, abirs and what not inside the House. Yes, you are now our Prime Monster but don't prance around with garlands suffocating your neck and wearing abir on your forehead as if you just came from Rio with a gold medal.
Our Emperor should hire an astrologer and appoint him as his spiritual adviser or something. The number '9' seems to be the number for our Emperor. He was our Prime Monster earlier for nine months until he resigned because he did not get what he want which was to fire the Army Chief.
Yes, our politicians have different priorities. They are busy figuring out whom to promote or transfer to lucrative postings rather than find ways to at least curb inflation, minimize corruption and make sure that everyone follows the laws of the land.
Now, after nine years, our Emperor is back in Baluwatar and he will be hanging there for the next nine months. Will things be different the second time around? Nope. As usual, there will be ministries to be divided among the coalition partners. And every top government positions will be divided among their loyal cadres as well.
It's funny that we have a quota system when it comes to our government jobs. They tell us that we live in a democracy and we are now a federal republic but instead of promoting meritocracy, our politicians continue to follow the 'afno manchey' formula so that they can continue to make some moolah from those whom they have appointed to such lucrative postings.
Our Emperor tells us that he is a changed man. Yes, he is. He now plays ping pong everyday to keep himself fit. Politics has been good for our man. From a skinny fellow, living in a dark room in Patan and riding a rusty bicycle around town, he is now an obese old man who rides in a luxury vehicle and lives in a rented house where the monthly rent is more than what an average Nepali makes in a year. Life is good for our politicians.
After all, they have sacrificed their lives to fight the system, spent years in jail or underground so that one day, if they got lucky and came into power, then they could exploit the system to earn illegal riches rather than working together to bring reform in the system.
That has been the story of all our politicians in this land. Yes, their kids are now better off and live a luxurious lifestyle while millions of our kids have no opportunity in this land and have no option but to go overseas and work in inhumane conditions to make a few Dinars more.
The new government is busy making sure they keep our Madhesi parties happy by declaring those killed by the state in the Madhes Andolan as martyrs and providing a million Rupees each to the victims' families.
But in reality, the victims' families will get peanuts while local leaders will take most of it for their own kharcha! Let us hope our government will also provide for the families of our security personnel who were murdered during the andolan and also take action against the perpetrators as well.
Our Prime Monster tell us that his government will be 'the government for poor' or whatever that means because so far our politicians and civil servants have stolen from the state treasury and made the government, the country and the people poor. When our government talks about livelihood, it means providing contracts to cadres and slimy contractors so that they can make some dough.
When they talk about education, it means providing scholarships and grants to children of near and dear ones so that they can study in foreign lands and settle there. When they talk about health, it's about making sure our government buys medical equipment for millions and let it rust and buy another one just for the sake of commission.
When our government talks about food security, it means providing security to our byaparis who sell adulterated products and not taking action against them even when they jack up the prices by 30% every year while the farmers who sell the produce don't event make enough to provide for their families.
When our government talks about self-employment, it means providing loans to their own cadres while millions of youth neither get any loans nor getting any training to develop their skills to earn a decent living.
Our Emperor tells us that the government will first identify the poor people and then only roll out programs to make their lives better. Yes, carry out the study , waste millions while the poor will get the most identity cards and nothing else.
We know very well that things will not change for good. Our politicians will continue to play the 'share the loot' game and will do nothing for the poor and the needy. After all, we cannot only blame our Emperor alone.
He is just another player who had a vision to change this country for good but once he got into the system, our civil servants and his coalition partners have changed him for good. Now, he is just another politician who spends his time making sure he finds ways to make money so that he can keep his near and dear ones happy.
What about the country and the people? Well, for our politicians neither exist for they only know how to steal from the state and the people.
Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org