Saturday, August 13, 2016

The Chindia Games!

Our new government has decided to send our two Deputy Prime Monsters to China and India so that we can continue to get free buses, tin sheets and what not. Our government tells us that these two great netas will help to strengthen the ties between our chimekis. In other countries, the Foreign Minister is the one who goes around the world, meeting leaders and working things out between the two nations. 

But here in this land of ours, we send ministers who have nothing to do with foreign relations to visit our neighbors. Maybe, both of our ministers just want to strengthen their own ties with foreign hands and do whatever it takes to please their masters so that their own political parties can benefit in the next election.

After all, cash is King and our chimekis do dole out tons of cash to our political parties for their own self interest.  But why are our netas in such a hurry to visit our chimekis instead of working together to solve the problems at home? 

Our Finance Minister should be asking our civil servants to figure out how to collect more taxes so that we will have a budget surplus rather than a deficit every year. I think we could raise a few billion dollars alone from rental tax in the valley if our municipalities were serious enough to take action against each and every Gharbeti. 

But of course, our civil servants would rather take some chiya kharcha and encourage the Gharbetis to evade taxes instead of filling up the state treasury. Our tax wallahs seem to believe that a landlord in Durbarmarg only collects less than a lakh for a ground floor shop while most offices in Anamnagar only play a few thousand Rupees in rent each month. 

Our Finance Minister should go after the fake VAT bill wallahs. We know that most of our so-called big byaparis evade billions of Rupees in taxes every year. And as usual, our netas and civil servants get their share instead of filling up the state treasury. 

Instead of making sure, we have a financially strong government, our chors work together to make sure the government always remains poor and in need of financial help from the bideshis to run this country. 

No wonder, the bideshis do run this land and our netas are their puppets!
Our Finance Minister will be going to China because he has pretty good contacts with Chinese byaparsi. 

A few years ago, he was asking for some dough from someone in China to help his party. I really don't think the Chinese government really cares who runs our country. The Chinese know very well that when it comes to our internal matters, India will always have a say and they are not worried about it. 

They only want one thing that is to stop the Tibetan refugees in this land to stop protesting in front of their Embassy. No wonder, our Home Ministry wallahs and the men and women in blue receive Chiya Kharcha from the Chinese Embassy whenever they rain laathis on the Tibetan protestors.  

And then the western media post pictures of our cops hitting Tibetan monks with their laathis and boots and it really gives us all a bad name. Our cops should take some kind of  training on how to control protestors without resorting to violence. How about singing some songs and playing dohori with the protesters? Now,  that would be a pleasant sight to see wouldn't it?

And our Home Minister is going to India to try out some Samsosas and doodh chiya Desi-style. Why on earth does a Minister for Home Affairs visit a foreign land? Shouldn't he be at home, making sure our cops are doing their job right while the public is safe from paketmaars, mundreys and even political savages who seem to block the road for their own political program and disrupt the traffic in the valley? 

Our Home Ministry should be looking after thousands of our own people who have been displaced from their homes due to floods and landslides across the country. What about another hundreds of thousands who are still living either out in the open or in temporary shelters even a year and half after the earthquake?  

And instead of going after the dons and blackmarketers, our Home Ministry is always busy making sure that those who can pay off the netas get promoted or get lucrative postings while who has neither the dough nor the connection get nothing.  No wonder, most of the police wallahs who get posting inside the valley have paid off someone in the Home Ministry or are close to our netas and will have to return the favor in the future. 

And our government has directed the Home Ministry and the Commerce and Supplies Ministry to control inflation, black marketeering and adulteration. And our Prime Monster has asked all our high-ranking civil servants to give him reports on all the problems in this land as soon as possible whereas he has also directed the Foreign Ministry to rescue our folks stranded overseas. 

But we all know how our civil servants work and nothing will come out of it.  The prices of vegetables go up by more than hundred percent in a week and our government doesn't care. I think people should stop buying sweets and gudpak in the valley because our mithai wallahs won't stop mixing rotten stuff with the sweets.  

We all know that the fuel we get at our petrol pumps are adulterated. It's funny that our politicians are either socialists or communists but in this land of ours the byaparis make all the dough and shares the ill-gotten wealth with our civil servants and clowns while the common folks can't even afford to buy a few carrots. No wonder, we are going blind and we continue to fail to see how our buffoons are continuing to take this country down the drain.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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